“Most of us want to believe that there’s good in everyone. Unfortunately, it isn’t true. There are people in the world who are rotten to the core, and they’re called sociopaths.”
That’s how I begin my video interview about my new book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I answer questions about what happened to me, and why I wrote the book. The six-minute video is posted on my blog for the book, and I invite you to watch it.
Pre-order special ends July 31
Right now, we’re offering a pre-order special for the book. If you place your order now, we’ll send you an autographed and numbered first edition, shipped free to U.S. destinations, and 40 percent off to international destinations. I especially encourage our international readers to take advantage of this offer—it’s the best shipping deal you’ll ever see. One book per order.
The pre-order special ends July 31, 2010—that’s when the books will be printed. We’ll be sending out all pre-orders during the first few days of August.
The official publication date for Love Fraud is August 25, 2010. That’s when it will be available on Amazon.com, on other online retailers, and in bookstores. During the month of August, the book will be available exclusively on Lovefraud.com. However, copies will no longer be autographed, and regular shipping rates will apply. So if you want to take advantage of the special, please do it by July 31.
Goals of the book
I wrote this book for two reasons. First, to alert people to the fact that sociopaths exist, and describe what they look like. Secondly, to help those of us who have tangled with these predators to heal, and offer a possible explanation for why then entire experience happened.
The feedback I’ve received from folks who have read advance copies of the book has been heartwarming—several reviews are posted on my blog. It looks like Love Fraud may be accomplishing the goals I set for it.
I can’t wait to share my story—and my recovery—with you.
Donna, I watched your video and it’s wonderful. It’s courageous to be candid about our choices, and this is one of the things that makes this site a successful healing place for people.
Your spiritual approach to your healing process is awesome – getting balanced and centered, and discovering the “reason” for the spath exposure is so important to the healing process.
Congratulations to you, and thank you for giving me the courage to move forward on my own healing path!
Brightest, most heartfelt blessings to you!!!
Donna – Im so looking forward to reading your book.
You shared that you believe “sometimes our souls choose painful lessons” – having gone through the situation I went through – Ive come to learn and grow and believe this to be true too.
You are an inspirational person and Im so thankful that you had the strength and courage to create Lovefraud and bring awareness and healing to so many people.
This book is just more step in creating good out of something bad. Thanks again.
Long time, bloggers 🙂 I didn’t know where to put this, but I have small reason to celebrate. Here schools cease for the holidays, and I submitted my final paper for a diploma in abnormal psychology. Much of my inspiration drew from my experience, but the entire making of my thesis is a wonderful way to view the DSMers with much abstract thinking. No sensitive connections or reactions exist, but startling fascination. Each and every day brings about new revelations, which I find endearingly predictable and always fodder for new reseach. There came a time when nothing these DSMers do mattered anymore. Pity and fascination take over strongly. This site certainly had a good deal of inspiration as it basically ‘greenlighted’ my ideas in a ‘formal’ and very public arena. So I have much to thank for the inspiration I got from here and ofcourse the DSMers themselves (never short of material!).
This video/book is something I’ll be more than happy to invest in. It’s so positive when healing becomes action and moving on and being in a different place entirely.
I’ve also been approached to do a publication of a slightly different nature; so I’ll be on here less and focussing on new ventures. I shall however always have time for a Donna Anderson publication. This site is one thing, but it makes sense to sell this thing widely. Congratulations, Ms Anderson.
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I am so excited about finally seeing this book come to fruition. I hope it helps so many people.
I originally built Lovefraud to educate people about sociopaths. I never anticipated that it would grow into the healing community that it has become. For that, I express my sincere appreciation to all of you who have made Lovefraud what it is.
With love, respect and gratitude,
Donna
Donna, I live in New Orleans where politics are very corrupt. I was in a relationship with a sociopath, I met him in 2002 and got pregnant with his child. For over 3 years we were in a relationship where he told me he worked and lived in Baton Rouge, he would always visit me Late at night or sporadically on weekends always showing up without first calling. he was able to fool me until Hurricane Katrina hit us, when his live in Girlfriend who knew noting about me or his son, found out and he moved in with us in early 2006, I kicked him out of my home in march of 2007 he continued to pursue me and in November 2007 he Attacked me in front of our 4 year old son, (He was suffocating me) I called the police and he was arrested. My son has been diagnosed with PTSD because of this and have been on Medications for the last 2+ years which has caused Heart Problems and Earlier this year in March he was diagnosed with Aspergers, Now his father after not seeing him for over 2 years is petitioning the Court for Custody, He is Dating a Woman 20 years his Senior who is politically Connected, she belongs to the FBI Citizens Academy in New Orleans and is on the Alliance for Good Government. He is in arrears in the thousands of dollars and on our first court hearing he was arrested by a district attorney who handles the Child Support Enforcement for Orleans Parish, Needless to say she may lose her job for doing her Job. My ex has a very powerful attorney who was connected with Edwin Edwards when Edwards was Governor of Louisiana, He the attorney and my ex’s Girlfriend are getting people in Political high places to make calls to the District Attorneys Supervisor to get her fired or taken off the child Support case. My ex’s arrest on July 7 is not on the books and he did not have to pay the money he owes us in Child Support. Any Suggestions would be appreciated.
WOW! dear MySonsMom,
It sounds like you have a “mell of a hess” on your hands. I used to live in Slidell and I am aware of how crooked politics is there. Everywhere actually, but especially crooked there!
Welcome to LoveFraud, I’m glad you found this site. There is a book in the LF store called the LEGAL ABUSE SYNDROME and I suggest you read it. Sometimes the ABUSE we get through the “legal” system is as bad as what the psychopath did to us before, and sometimes worse.
As far as “what to do” I hope Donna or someone else has some suggestions better than mine, all I can say is “get a good connected lawyer” if you can find or afford one. I would speak with the DA about recommending one. Sounds like he/she may need one too. In fact, the two of you might band together if it looks like they may be fired for doing their job it might be that the MEDIA is your best bet to get your story out in the public. Sometimes these political back room deals will wither under the LIGHT OF MEDIA ATTENTION. God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. (((Hugs))))
So true your comment OxDrover abuot the legal system being more hurtful then spath…I feel that currently. He is connected, has tons of money, can bury me in court. I cannot afford the attorney that I have found….so i bide my time.
question: a therapist I see, who does understand the spath thing, said to me “what if you exposed him in the media? Would it help to put your story out there..since at this point everyone knows everything about you since he has been slandering you”
it is a valid question and one I think about. I think about writing about the story…it certainly involves a lot of very juicy stuff…his dentist father being an addict, his mother alcoholic, weird sex stuff, he slept with his sister, his mom sexualized him very early…his family is weirdly and sickly enmeshed…I have pages and pages of stories….and he lives in small town, where he is big man on campus, the usual for his life…and something he told me he needed. (sick) and since he continues to attempt to sabotage and slander me and has been successful…what the hell. What do I have left to lose? Nothing. So, if I were to do something like that would that be suicide? Or would I out him and hopefully turn my own life around?
His first wife and I tried to tell third wife a few days before their wedding about him…she didn’t believe us although I know it did cause some problems on the day of the wedding….but they went through with it. they keep having kids because she is not the uterus for golden boy…and he lived in Oklahoma where he has a big family, very small town…it would hurt him but it might also validate other women he has come into contact with…he told me he used to be a womanizer in college at a very small bible college in Oklahoma, wish I could remember the name….and he had to womanize he said becuase he was a baseball player but didn’t feel “good enough” around the other athletes and need some place he could “win”. Does that sound like an spath?
Just wondering because after I was in the article and photoshoot on Domestic Violence in 2006 with is first wife in New Beauty my life go much worse…no doubt he was pissed. But at this point I want to show the world who he is but I also want to be smart. I don’t want to do it in a way that makes me look psycho. God knows I don’t need that! I already feel psycho….after this life with him. what do you think?
One thing, has anyone heard about the foundation Give Back a Smile? It is for women who have been victims of DV…dentist, oral surgeons repair teeth, facial fractures etc pro bono of women who have suffered from domestic violence. If anyone needs that kind of help please look for this foundation in your area. It is huge in Atlanta, where spath’s first wife is from. she was on Atlanta news that year talking about spath and me and her and his third wife to be….
Someone sent his third wife the video clip…
I’d like to be a part of that foundation doing therapy eventually, after I get my own life together as I am still weathering the aftermath of spath hell. his first wife would always use the word sociopath to describe him. Initially I was doubtful that he was that but now I get it. He would also try to call me that which is actually pretty funny since…well….I have empathy for one.
Dear Chinagirl,
There is debate about “justice” vs. “revenge” etc. and sometimes people get both and come out okay. Donna the owner of this blog is one that seems to have gotten both. Believe me, I wish I had an answer to your question, but with things like they are now for you, I would advise you to put your energy into you and your relationship with your daughter. If anything it might be like poking a sleeping tiger with a stick. It might not be worth it and you only know AFTER you have done it.
Most of us have fantasies of revenge, of torturing them like they tortured us, but I think in the end, those revenge fantasies make us bitter and angry more than they relieve our souls.
I have tried to get the bitterness out of my soul because it is like you drinking poison and expecting the one you hate to die! It doesn’t help much. I have “forgiven” them by getting that bitterness out of my soul (still a work in progress but most days okay) but doesn’t mean I will trust them again, or let them close enough to hurt me again.
I am doing my best to get justice by keeping my P son in prison and protesting his release on parole. I’m doing the best I can to get justice. He of course thinks it is revenge, but it is really self protection because if he gets out, I am in more danger from him than if he is still in prison.
Everything we do takes ENERGY and energy is limited just like money, we have to decide what is most important to spend it on. For me at this point even, I am spending my energy on ME. I too want to volunteer and help others who are DV victims, but I have found a way to do some of that but limit the amount of energy I spend on it to a level with which I am comfortable and still have enough for myself. Being a “recovering enabler” I tend to throw too much of my energy into “helping others” and not keep enough to be healthy myself. So it is one of the “recovery” things I have to work on to not give all my energy away!
Keep on asking questions, keep on reading. I suggest you go back through the archives and read and read the articles (save the comments for later) and some articles will resonate with you now and some maybe not so much, but you will gather so much insight into YOU. It starts out about them, but ends up about ourselves. ((((hugs)))))
thank you again…
As you see I am all over the blog today! reading….processing…praying….
Thank you for prayers and encouragement. In a way I feel like I am growing up. Working smarter now…less over the top emotion and crazy feeling. I said this before but I tried to change everything after the divorce and I wish I would have just stayed in my nice condo, spent time with D (which I did….we did a lot together these last five years) but I reacted, not resonded…progress, not perfection…it’s all I can do now.