“Most of us want to believe that there’s good in everyone. Unfortunately, it isn’t true. There are people in the world who are rotten to the core, and they’re called sociopaths.”
That’s how I begin my video interview about my new book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I answer questions about what happened to me, and why I wrote the book. The six-minute video is posted on my blog for the book, and I invite you to watch it.
Pre-order special ends July 31
Right now, we’re offering a pre-order special for the book. If you place your order now, we’ll send you an autographed and numbered first edition, shipped free to U.S. destinations, and 40 percent off to international destinations. I especially encourage our international readers to take advantage of this offer—it’s the best shipping deal you’ll ever see. One book per order.
The pre-order special ends July 31, 2010—that’s when the books will be printed. We’ll be sending out all pre-orders during the first few days of August.
The official publication date for Love Fraud is August 25, 2010. That’s when it will be available on Amazon.com, on other online retailers, and in bookstores. During the month of August, the book will be available exclusively on Lovefraud.com. However, copies will no longer be autographed, and regular shipping rates will apply. So if you want to take advantage of the special, please do it by July 31.
Goals of the book
I wrote this book for two reasons. First, to alert people to the fact that sociopaths exist, and describe what they look like. Secondly, to help those of us who have tangled with these predators to heal, and offer a possible explanation for why then entire experience happened.
The feedback I’ve received from folks who have read advance copies of the book has been heartwarming—several reviews are posted on my blog. It looks like Love Fraud may be accomplishing the goals I set for it.
I can’t wait to share my story—and my recovery—with you.
Order the book in the Lovefraud Store.
kim frederick
Morning, BP. It’s so funny, I was saying that mantra to myself this AM, “every day in every way, I’m getting better and better.”
I so agree with your post above. A couple of days ago Frank Lee mentioned that he didn’t like the use of the title, “spath”, and he made a good point, but when I sat back and thought about it, I decided that for me, Spath works, mostly because what we want to do is disempower them, not endow them with all this mysterious evil, scary, speciallness.
do you know what I mean?
I agree they are powerful, and dangerious, but only as long as we are unknowing, and unconscience, and playing into their hands. I think they crave infamy, and suck it up just like they do our blood. I take every opportunity to think of mine as an annoying insect, not some powerful being that has a hold on me. Nope, not anymore.
BP, I said I’m working on forgiveness, not that I had it mastered. Most days, I’m not there yet, abuat I do understand that this is my life, and I want to have a large spirit, and be happy and free….so, I’m working toward that.
Disempowering them, and seeing them as pitiful helps.
That doesn’t mean falling for their pity ploy, it means disengaging from an out of order spirit.
I also agree about how short life is, and learning to apreciate the most mundane things that we take for granted, like a heavenly cool breeze, or how beautiful the trees look in the Spring, or the sound of crickets…or frogs.
Some day, all to soon all those things will slip away from me and I won’t have them anymore. I don’t want to waste this precious time nursing a bitter resentment. Know what I mean?
bulletproof
Kim- I DO know what you mean…it’s music to the ears. Wasting precious time nursing a resentment….yes! Disempowering them and seeing them as pitiful…Yes! and ultimately “disengaging with an out of order spirit”…yes….I would be more than happy to leave his fate in the hands of something perhaps bigger than me.
I think you said before (I may be wrong) that it wasn’t for you to “forgive” him that was not your job…but forgiving yourself was your job….I really agree with that. To forgive yourself is key to letting this whole thing go….but it takes time and refuses to be rushed…the more I try to hurry it along the more it rebels….so I’m going with the flow which seems to be taking me ‘away’ from him and his negative residue…and hence his power over me.
Calling them a spath is okay by me…they are what they are, there are days when they really seem up there on the pedestal of mean…and other days they are in the gutter..meaningless.
The P is powerless over me. The P has no hold over me. It is still the illusion I cannot let go of…something won’t let it go. I need to be angry with him, have memories, trawl through the deceptions one by agonising one….but really? He has no power over me. What is it in ME that needs to go over it and over it…and use this experience to demonstrate to me why this world is not safe..and I can’t trust anyone? surely that is no more true than he stole my life? he didn’t steal my life…I still have it!!
I’m back and forth Kim…TALKING to myself like two different characters trying to negotiate a happy medium!! It must be a stage in healing..trying to bridge the gap and explain it all bit by bit and converse it all through within so it makes sense and most importantly it does not take over…it does not deserve to take over…it needs to be put in it’s place, where that is… that is up to US
Thanks Kim for explaining your journey so well, I feel I’m with others going through the same thing…I’m not alone..Thank God ( I would have gone stir crazy on my own trying to get out of the maze) here’s to the sound of frogs and crickets! x
kim frederick
BP, I jst went back and read Kathleen Hawks, “How Do We Heal part 5” on anger, tried to post on that thread to bring it back, but since there are over 700 comments, I guess it’s closed…but can still be read.
really good stuff for anyone in that particular stage of recovery.
I personally think it’s about seizing our power back from a place where we lost it. I also think we believe it protects us from the hurt beneith it. It is good for us to be angry, but not to be stuck in it….at some point we have to let it go to move on and be able to enjoy the crickets and the frogs.