Empathy among college students declines

One_step {{{{gentle hugs}}}} You’re feeling the triggers and cycling through them, I think. It’s okay to feel the anger and hatred! Just remember to focus that energy on something “positive.” Write. Draw. Clean. Move your body as much as you can. Do something that will be a benefit to YOU, in the long run.After a while, what feels like uncontrollable rage will abate to some degree – little-by-little, the rage won’t be so all-consuming. And, I agree – medications wasn’t the answer for me, either.

I experienced that rage too many times in the past couple of years, and there came a point where I was so consumed by the rage and absence of closure that I fell into a deep, ugly depression. I was prepared to walk off into the forest in the dead of winter and succumb to Nature in whatever manner it took me.

What I had to do was focus on something “positive.” I hated it. I wanted so very much to give in and give up. I honestly believed that it was a challenge that I wasn’t up to taking on. So, I typed out my last wishes and my Will. And, looked around to see if there was anything that I really cared about, and there sitting in a row, were my cats. They knew that something wasn’t right with me, and they sat there and just waited for whatever was going to happen.

Well, I couldn’t very well go off and leave my cats to starve. And, what my partner (who was out of town) was going to have to deal with when he got back just didn’t seem fair after all of his support and encouragement. I realized that I was being very selfish about my misery – I had gotten to the point where I cloaked myself in that misery just like it was a comfortable blanket. Wrapped in my personal misery and despair, I didn’t have to “do anything” except suck it up and wallow in it. It was familiar to me, at that point. The despair presented no risks and no challenges, and certainly, no compulsion for my personal growth or healing. It just WAS, and I was being consumed by it.

I tore up my last wishes and Will, and sat down with a pencil and paper – no computer, but something visceral and tangible. I wrote in one column what I had to be grateful for. In the other, I wrote down what I believed to be reason enough for me to give up and call it quits on Life.

The gratitude list was much longer than the quitting list. I finally realized that I had a choice to give the dead, ex spath (and, all of the others) the power to cause me to walk out on Life, OR I could choose the best revenge possible and that was to live a happy, productive life, even if it was a challenge to get there.

My positive and healing energies are with you, One_step, and I honestly believe that your recent physical reactions are directly related to your personal emotional experiences. At least, it has always been that way for me. When I’m in my deepest emotional torment, I fall into illness, plain and simple.

If you want to burn something, DO IT! If you want to punch a pillow into shreds, DO IT! If you need to primal scream, DO IT! But, do SOMEthing to release some of that angst. Even if it is physically painful, stomp around and shout out whatever curses and accusations to the spath that are truthful. Take steps to purge your SOUL of the continued control of the spath! If we remain in misery, we are still living in their domain. Releasing that emotional pressure can only be beneficial to you. And, the next time you wake up, tell yourself that it’s going to be a GREAT day! You didn’t wake up to find your name in the obituaries. You didn’t wake up in the ongoing spath hell. Every day is one more opportunity for us to learn, teach, heal, and realize our potential.

Brightest healing blessings, One_step.

See, One_step? In spite of every irritation, every roadblock, and every pothole, YOUR healing path is valuable to everyone here. Take that, and run with it, dear heart.