The word “gaslight,” when used as a verb, means “to manipulate someone into questioning their own sanity; to subtly drive someone crazy.” It’s a term that’s been used on this website to describe the psychological damage inflicted by a psychopath.
I was aware that the word, when used in this way, was a reference to the 1944 movie Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, Angela Lansbury and Joseph Cotton. But I had never seen the film. A few days ago, I watched Gaslight for the first time.
The story is set in Edwardian London, where an accomplished singer is mysteriously strangled in her home. The crime is discovered by the singer’s young niece, Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman). Paula is traumatized by the murder and leaves London to live in Italy.
Ten years later, Paula falls head-over-heels in love with a handsome and suave pianist, Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), and they quickly marry. The couple returns to the London house, which Paula has inherited. Then Gregory begins a slow, calculated campaign to make Paula believe she is becoming forgetful, then hysterical, then insane.
Working on the mind
Several film reviews call the villain of the movie, Gregory Anton, a psychopath. Most movies that are supposedly about psychopaths do not, in fact, portray them accurately. Gaslight does a fairly good job.
Gregory maneuvers himself into Paula’s life and quickly sweeps her off her feet. (Does this sound familiar to anyone?) Gregory has an agenda, which is revealed later in the movie. He manipulates Paula into going along with his plans—starting with going back to the London house.
Gradually he starts working on Paula’s mind. He moves things and then asks Paula what she did with them. When Paula is understandably confused—after all, she didn’t do anything—he feigns concern, while making more and more items disappear.
Gregory shames Paula in front of their servants, and gradually convinces the servants that there is something wrong with their mistress. (Has anyone experienced that?) He lets it be known in society that Paula is not well, and then contrives to make Paula have a very public breakdown.
The psychopath shows flashes of rage, then quickly shifts to solicitous manipulation. He becomes more and more dominant—telling Paula what to do and where to sit—while his wife crumbles.
In my opinion, Gaslight provides a fairly good representation of the destructive relationship between a psychopathic predator and his victim. The only big thing that seems off is that Gregory, the villain, has a motivation for what he is doing. From what I’ve seen, many psychopaths destroy the people they supposedly love for no reason at all.
Understanding the dynamics
I was hoping that I’d be able to tell people to watch Gaslight and they’d understand what it’s like to be victimized by a psychopath. Although anyone who has experienced a psychopath will recognize the villain’s behaviors, I’m not sure the movie will help people who haven’t been there understand the dynamics. The film is just a bit too theatrical for the manipulation to be perceived as real.
I also watched American Psycho. In the beginning, the portrayal of the psychopathic character, Patrick Bateman, does seem to capture the grandiosity and cold heartlessness of a psychopath. But then the film turns into a bloody slasher movie, or maybe a horror fantasy—I couldn’t figure it out. In the end, it’s just another one of those movies that confuses people about psychopaths.
So we are left trying to explain to people how the psychopath manipulated us, how we could have fallen for it, why we didn’t see it. And the words just never seem to capture the experience.
re gaslighting – the sock puppets were about this. the ‘bf’ and the ‘sister’ who i talked to after ‘he died’.
i feel crazily angry today. i want to push back against here. have had to stop myslef from going to the website and outing her. i cannot put myself in a situaion to up the anxiety in my life right now.
I feel wildly hurt by what she did to me. to do this….to pretend to be someone that i loved, to pretend to be his family and bf….it’s vile.
man, i feel so F%*ked up.
that should have read,
‘i want to push back against her’.
Dear One step,
Since it is impossible for you to be “no contact” with someone who DIDN’T EXIST, I suggest that you stay off the web site where she posts. IMHO I think every time you go there it is going to rip the scab off your wounds.
Yes, anyone who would do such a thing for ANY reason is EVIL, and I think she qualifies as EVIL. You are hurt because you (like the rest of us) loved something/someone that didn’t exist. Yours didn’t even have a “body” just a “voice” and even that was fake!
While YOUR feelings were real, at least you didn’t buy a house with this holographic “vision” and didn’t have a kid with it, or so many other things that could have happened if it had a body. I know that sounds weird, but count your blessings, my friend, and work on the things that TAKE CARE OF YOU, your health, your sanity, your balance! You mentioned in another post the good things tha tyou had done for yourself, TOWANDA for you, now get back out there and do more good things for YOU! That’s all any of us can do! God bless.
just a question,is there any legal recourse we could pursue?look hes raped,drugged,beaten, kidnapped,imprisonment against will,robbed,slandered,breach of contract,homeland terrorism,grand theft auto theres too much more and the insane thing is he has gotten away with most of it.
Dear NO-object,
Sometimes there is legal recourse to prosecute, sometimes not.
It also depends on the area police and how seriously they believe the witnesses (you?) AND if there is OTHER EVIDENCE than just the word of one person
I would suggest that you gather any evidence or other witnesses who are willing to tell the truth and approach the authorities, the federal authorities if you can’t get the local guys to cooperate.
God bless you.
Soimnotcrazy, I just found this and thought you might enjoy it, So I brought this thread back for you!
Wow…gaslight!!! So there is a term for it!! I am so HAPPY I found this…
Thank you
coping,
Read the O for umbrella article.
That should be an eye opener for ya 🙂
LL
Very helpful read. Thank you Donna.
Hi Panter, I am not sure I have seen you here before but I haven’t been on for awhile either.
Yeah, gaslighting is an amazing thing. Normal people don’t think that way and it is hard to figure out when you are being gaslighted.
While mine was gaslighting me and I was unaware and about lost my mind. In hindsight I able to look back and laugh. I guess I laugh at myself for being an adult and falling for a magic trick. Geesh. No wonder it is so fun for them (being they are evil)….they must think, “Really? It’s actually driving her mad.She’s an adult. Idiot ….THERE IS NO TOOTH FAIRY.”