By BloggerT7165
I am a survivor. And I am thankful for that.
It’s not something I take for granted because I know there are many who do not survive the abuse that is inflicted by their loved ones, trusted spouses or friends or parents. This is a hurtful experience that literally kills people. And if the wound itself doesn’t kill, then the infection that follows from the collusion of friends, neighbors, confidants, professionals, and others will many times finish off the job.
Every abuse story is a tragic one, but the stories of those who successfully commit suicide are among the most heart-wrenching of all. Many abuse victims survive in body, but are lost in other ways. Lost to the pain. Lost to drugs or alcohol. Lost to self-destructive behaviors. Lost to depression. Lost to fear and isolation.
I am filled with gratitude. I came out on the other side of the pain, suffering and darkness, still alive and somewhat sane. Whatever pain I may have, I am grateful for the capacity to feel that pain and for the ability to speak of it. I pray that my voice may help others and may work for good.
I am thankful for the life I live. I am thankful for the goodness of the people who surround me. I am thankful there are caring people like those I have seen on LF. I am thankful to be able to agree or disagree, I am thankful for all the goodness I see in the world even when it seems so dark.
Than you Donna, Dr. Leedom, Dr Steve, Steve and everyone else on Love Fraud for caring.
star:
gee, i hate to sound paranoid, but be careful about dating sites.
seems as though that might be a hotbed for s/p’s looking for lonely, loving women.
LIG: 6 months ago I would have said you were projecting unnecessary fear. Nowadays I tell my friends the same thing. I have a friend who just met a guy on my dating site. I have already instructed her to google his name and check out his story before ever getting in a car with him and going on a date.
Dear guys,
Thank you all, but not to worry about my dented skillet, I only cook in cast iron, and I have a great supply of it from my living history group cook outs too. Dutch oven lids are great, nice and heavy and BIG, but I really like the skillets best because they ahve such a nice handle. BOINK!!!! LOL
I think really, though, that the worst damage I have done to the skillet is Henry’s head! LOL Either his hard head, or my OWN HARD HEAD! LOL
Winter is setting in here now, though, and even with cast iron in cold weather you can break it if you hit something too hard with it when it is cold. I broke the lid to my big dutch oven a while back when I dropped it in cold weather. It didn’t ruin it,k but did break part of the lip off the top that holds the coals on when you are baking in it.
Holidays are difficult guys, and have been for me for many years. But this year I had the Thanksgiving holiday at home and it was wonderful. Just a relaxed day with my two wonderful sons, and three friends who came over to join us.
I’ve had so many horrible memories of holidays and mom’s caterwalling over me “ruining” her holiday cause I ddin’t want to share it with Uncle Monster, so I solved that by going on a camp out with my living history group instead of having it at home or with my mom and Uncle Monster.
Ditto Christmas, every year it was a caterwalling, scretching crying fight about how mean I was being to HER because I was ruining her Christmas cause I wouldn’t break bread with Uncle Monster….no concern about MY CHRISTMAS BEING RUINED. LOL
I haven’t enjoyed the holiday for years because of that. Haven’t decorated for the holidays or enjoyed it at all, but THIS YEAR I am going to celebrate and ENJOY the holidays. I won’t allow “them” to ruin my life, my celebrations and my JOY. I’ve got a ton of Christmas decorations and starting Monday I am going to string lights everywhere from the gate at the road, all the way down the 700 ft. driveway and all over the house. Deck the Halls! I’m going to hang enough lights on the Buffalo head in the living room that he will look like a “French Tart”
Son C still doesn’t feel really in the Christmas spirit due to the past years, but even if he doesn’t enjoy it, I am going to enjoy it! I’m going to cook and cook and bake and bake, and by January first we should look like “corn fed hogs” and I don’t care!
It doesn’t matter one whit to me who does NOT love me, I am going to celebrate the ONES WHO DO LOVE ME@.......!!!
Even if it was no one but me and the 18 pound mobile black and white foot warmer here to celebrate, we are going to eat ourselves sick and sing and dance and make merry! Kill the fatted calf!
“star:
gee, i hate to sound paranoid, but be careful about dating sites.
seems as though that might be a hotbed for s/p’s looking for lonely, loving women.”
lostingrief,
And you would be right so please everyone be careful on dating sites. Really for me it isn’t worth the time and effort on most of these sites and some with forums tell me volumes about some of it’s members that scares me to death. I understand how easy it is for S or P to hide in these type of sites to unbeknownst members who don’t know what a S or P is. Some can be so brazened it is downright silly and sad. And then you wonder how they don’t see them for what they are and the problems they can cause. It’s almost like one needs to be cut first before they can feel the pain.
STAR
I got this Great new Dating site for yas!:)~
It’s Called meet an Inmate! Hahahahaha Sounds Good uh?:)~ LOVE JJ
Dear Indi,
You know what, that may be a joke to you about the “Inmate dating site” but there are actually such things where you can see a photo of the inmate and a “profile” and you can write to them, or even go visit them. How stupid is THAT?
YOU TOO CAN GET YOUR VERY OWN PSYCHOPATHIC CONVICT! SIGN UP NOW!
Yet, every well known serial killer has their group of “groupies” that write them and fall in love with them. Ted Bundy, Charlie Manson, and Jeffrey Dahmer had 14 of them, all in love with him. The letters were found in his cell after his death. Ted Bundy’s and he even managed to perform a “legal marriage” in a Florida court room. (Florida has some strange marriage laws compared to the rest of the country) so there are plenty of people out there who are so vulnerable and so needy that they latch on to these serial killers for romance.
There is one female black inmate in Arkansas that got on the news a while back. She weighed in excess of 300 ponds, and was my age (60s) and was getting $50K + per year from her “boyfrineds” and she was sending them photos of starletts cut out of magazines telling them that was HER photo. She wasn’t the only one either doing this scam.
As P T BArnham said “There’s a sucker born every minute” and no matter how low you go, there is someone anxious to be your victim. When you think about it, we can “laugh” at these poor victims who RUN to volunteer for victimhood, but I’m not laughing too loud, I VOLUNTEERED FOR YEARS for my own private convict—my son! What makes me any smarter than these people? Because I knew this man? Because I gave birth to him? I was just as fooled and just as stupid. So I am not a whit, NOT ONE WHIT smarter than these people who do go to “date an inmate” sites. The 300 pound black female inmate who sent the cheese cake pictures cut out of magazines of young white women was just as “real” as my son is/was–NOT AT ALL!
I used to look down on women who went back and went back to men who beat them. I felt SUPERIOR to them. “I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!” Oh, yes, I was like the Pharisee praying in the Temple, looking down on the poor publican who was on his face before God saying “Have mercy on me a sinner” while the Pharisee looked down in scorn and said “Thank you God that I am not a sinner like that publican.” Sheesh!
I was one HYPOCRITICAL SANCTAMONIOUS WITCH. I was not only NOT BETTER THAN these women, I was worse, because I thought I was so “holy” and so much better, so much smarter. Their husbands might be beating the crap out of them, but my SON was beating the crap out of me. What was the difference? I kept going back, just like they did.
So you know, I don’t really LAUGH any more about the people who are so needy that they get involved with inmates. I pity them, the condition that makes them feel needy enough to dive to the bottom of the cess pool to pull out someone like Ted Bundy or Charlie Manson. Those creeps (the Ps) feed on this need with these poor women (or men) like vampires just for fun.
When my son had the smuggled cell phone in prison he used to sign up on dating sites on the internet. The women didn’t even know he was in prison.
TalK about a captive audence! I joke to make fun and also realize the Humugus need of acceptence and Words of love so many need to have to feel good about themselves!
Happyness is not in someone It is in your self it is your Choice! A thing! an Amount of money, a place , that perfect person !
WILL NOT MAKE ANYONE HAPPY ! PERIOD!
WE ARE constantly bombarded by BULL SHIT advertizing that says if we smell , Look , dress , drive , Eat , or look like A Trillion Bucks We will be Happy ! WRONG NOPE
It does not work that way and it NEVER will!
You are Happy If You Love Who You are! and the People you choose to be associated with ! In other words you are what you eat!
If you want to attract a mate You have to feel like you are attractive either or both mentally or/and Physicaly!
If you love yourself I GARONTEE You are attractive wether you know it or not! The way you carry yourself the way you Talk the way you walk your selfcovidonce! Makes you stand out! I see it and feel it every day ! LOVE JJ
DEar Indi,
Sometimes “jokes” are not appropriate in some instances. Especially ones that call names and sound condescending. Many of us joke on here but I think we need to make sure that our jokes are benign ones. You are right we all need acceptance and words of love, especially when we are hurting and in pain.
I don’t know if you remember the story about the little dog, lying on the road in great pain, and when the loving owner reaches down to scoop him up to take him to the vet to have his broken leg set, the little dog reaches up and bites the hand that offered help because of his tremendous pain. So sometimes it is wise to be very aware of how we are perceived. I’m just as guilty of this as anyone here on this blog, so I am not “throwing stones” at you by any means. Peace.
My Dad was right … there is nothing written in stone floating around the universe that says you need to hold a grudge, be miserable about something you perceived or actually was a wrong perpetrated against you. So what! … In the overall scheme of life … we can only do what we can possibly do (EVERYONE has their cross to bear) and then live our lives again, how we want to live our lives … no matter who wants to throw us off track (our path) for a while … he said our life is our life … it’s the only one we get (this is not dress rehearsal, this is the real deal). We can walk around miserable over the offenses (real or imagined) or we can walk around happy. It’s our choice…. it always was and always will be our choice.
For me … I’d rather be happy, at peace with serenity in my heart and soul …as I live my life. I’d rather see the glass as half full … even if some scientist mentality proves there isn’t an ounce of anything in that glass (smile). I know many people I’ve met went out of their way to make me as miserable as them, for whatever reason, I really don’t care. I do know that I was born happy and I think that is how God wants me to live my life … no matter who is miserable and wants to push me off that happy cushion, I’m just going to crawl right back up on top of it and stay there. That is my lot in life … and the way I see it, that’s not a bad attainment to strive for.
Peace … and smile, it is contagious.
Wini I know I try to keep in mind a few things that I have picked up over the years. One is that we are human and that means we will all experience pain/hurts in our lives. Nothing we can do about that. How much we suffer though is a different thing all together. If anger, bitterness, or pain take over and become the focus of our lives then that is what our lives become.
I also look at the whole “forgive” thing somewhat differently than some do. I don’t forgive. If a bee stings me I dont forgive it, it is what it is. While they may have wronged me I am not going to wrong myself by suffering. I see the wisdom of engaging life with love, compassion, empathy, and justice toward all beings regardless. That does not mean I allow them to avoid the consequences of their actions though.