By BloggerT7165
I am a survivor. And I am thankful for that.
It’s not something I take for granted because I know there are many who do not survive the abuse that is inflicted by their loved ones, trusted spouses or friends or parents. This is a hurtful experience that literally kills people. And if the wound itself doesn’t kill, then the infection that follows from the collusion of friends, neighbors, confidants, professionals, and others will many times finish off the job.
Every abuse story is a tragic one, but the stories of those who successfully commit suicide are among the most heart-wrenching of all. Many abuse victims survive in body, but are lost in other ways. Lost to the pain. Lost to drugs or alcohol. Lost to self-destructive behaviors. Lost to depression. Lost to fear and isolation.
I am filled with gratitude. I came out on the other side of the pain, suffering and darkness, still alive and somewhat sane. Whatever pain I may have, I am grateful for the capacity to feel that pain and for the ability to speak of it. I pray that my voice may help others and may work for good.
I am thankful for the life I live. I am thankful for the goodness of the people who surround me. I am thankful there are caring people like those I have seen on LF. I am thankful to be able to agree or disagree, I am thankful for all the goodness I see in the world even when it seems so dark.
Than you Donna, Dr. Leedom, Dr Steve, Steve and everyone else on Love Fraud for caring.
Dear love fraud friends – and you too Oxy – I am thankful every day for the love I have in my life. Two wonderful careing son’s that love me unconditionally and never leave here with out giving me a hug. Two daughter -in-laws that I would not trade for anything in the world. Three grandchildren that are happy well adjusted and loved by so many. My oldest grandson is in second grade and reading at fith grade level and is in gifted classes – I am sure he will be a scientist when he grows up but right now his goal is to be a spy. I have wonderful friends and employers that would be here in a heart beat if I called them. I am thankfulthat I have a home and a warm bed too share with my three weeny dog’s Harley – Crickit and Posey. I have food in the fridge and a little bit of money – and I do mean a little bit. I am thankful for every sunset and sunrise. I am thankful that this experience with my X asshole has forced me too look deep into my self and ask the things I should of asked myself years ago. holidays are ruff for so many of us but I am always invited somewhere and and never left alone. I am thankful the for the friendship I have with my x wife – she is the woman of my life. I am thankful that the man she married has been a wonderful stepfather to my son’s and adores my grandchildren and they call him grandpa and me peepaw. I whine alot on this blogg about the pain and devastation of my toxic relationship with the low life scum bag that almost destroyed me and is continuing to do his best to continue with that. But I am a survivor – I have too many people counting on me to be ok – for them – i am thankful for my new dishwasher – I have never owned one in my 54 years. I thank God and the universe every morning and ask that I be the best I can be every day. I am thankful and I am very blessed. Harley is telling me it is way past my bed time so I better get to bed as he will not go with out me. I am a good person just like all of you here at lovefraud….
BloggerT7165: I never said they shouldn’t be accountable for their actions. My EX along with my bosses and their cronies all belong in prison for what they did to me. Period. What they did to me, they could and will do to others. Period.
My forgiveness towards them is for me to heal. When I heal … I can forgive those that wronged me. Forgive them, for they know not what they do … in the Biblical sense … Of course I realize they know what they do on the human level. I still wake up some nights (which is better than what I used to be like … I used to wake up every night for about 6 years in cold sweats, shuddering over what they did to me … gasping for air, holding on to myself or my EX at the time for safety purposes, and I had to know they enjoyed every minute of tormenting me). I think I blogged that a retired personnel officer came out of retirement purposely to get back in the game of destroying a person’s career. This time, it was mine. I remember the look on his smug face, talking down to me every chance he got. He looked just like a human weasle. Medium tall, slight build. I would imagine what he looked like as a kid … and just knew he was a jerk back then too. One of those kids that bulled others or backed bigger bullies when bullying. Then to know this man was close to 70 and came back in to the game of terrorism. Because they are terrorist. Each and every one of the people we blog about. Hey, we don’t have to look for terrorist in some foreign land … just open your eyes in corporate America … look at some of your politicians, look at your neighbors and the person in the super market that’s making a nuisance in the check out line.
I woke up a couple of hours ago … I’ve been feeling good for several months now … and whammo … I turn the TV on and there is some impostor pretending she was a survivor of 9/11. Well, that story just put me back several years. Then all the commercials came on about ID theft during this impostor show … and this commercial was new … with a new twist … not only do they steal your money, but there is more they steal than meets the eye. What we all know … what they did to us. Shaking our faith, shaking our trust, shaking our thoughts about our fellow man, making us question ourselves, shaking us to our very core. Not trusting for a long, long, long time. Do we ever trust again like we did before this happened to us? I don’t know that answer. Then I have to remember all the people before us that these same horrific situations happened in their lives and they didn’t have the luxury of this blog to pour their hearts out … to have others reach out and say they know, tell them that they care, tell them that we are not alone.
Again, yes, I believe they should pay for the criminal terrorist activity they do to people.
I’m a little choked up right now … do you mind if I get back to you at a later date?
Peace.
Sorry Wini I did not mean for it to come across as implying anything other than just some of my own thoughts and not that you implied anything. Sorry that it came across that way, it was not my intent for it to do so.
BloggerT7165: You didn’t do anything … it was that impostor about being a survivor of 9/11 that spun me. Wanting attention over a horrific tragedy that so many people are still getting through the shock of what happened to them and their loved ones.
I had to speak with many families of 9/11. Those families who families members lived in my state and worked in NYC. I was the first contact person they dealt with and then I forwarded them on to the final contact people. Before I could transfer them, they would pour out their stories to me. It broke my heart … even though I was in constant shock over my terrorist situation, I was working with others that were affected by terrorists. It’s strange that it was me that got the first phone calls … but I knew what I needed to say to them to help them at the beginning of this shock. Just to let them know they weren’t alone, that we all felt the same horror and shock as they did.
I remember at that time, no matter where you drove in our state … there were firemen and police officers, EMTs, other so many other professionals whose careers help others … walking up and down the streets with their boots in their hands accepting donations for the survivors. I remember always just reaching into my pocketbook and grabbing bills … what ever denominations … I don’t even know what they were, I didn’t care … I just gave fist full of bills and gave and gave.
There are sites on the Net sponsored by the firefighters, their families, other survivors and families of 9/11 … if anyone wants to just drop a note thanking them for their courage.
Peace.
OxD
I found that site Meet an Inmate on MSN It was ranked one of the Ten Worst so I was not Joking except to Star telling us about her dating sites. I have seen it before and they will say anything to con anyone to feel sorry for them and weezel into your life and home !
Water! Is the same way! THERE ARE NO REGULATIONS ON BOTTLED WATER! They can pour it fro m the hose bib and bottle it in pretty bottles and call it pretty words and niev people buy it like it is going out of stile! Pepsi sells more bottled water than Pepsi ! WHY?
Water services; They will come show you you are drinking mud and they did this for me the bottom line was $6500 .00 which quickly went to $3500.00 they Have no Concience!
You can buy what they sell for $1000.00 or less have it instaled and you save how much???? There is NO TRUTH IN ADVERTIZING!
I asked my father? Dad it must be a different experience buying a $100,000.00 Mercedes? Yeah He said You Feel like a Bigger FOOL! LOVE JJ
Yes, Indi, it is terrible what these people do, and the dating sites on the internet are rife with these Ps looking for prey. My son C met his P (I used to call her the Cyber-bride) on the internet. At the time he met her he was very depressed, and feeling down over a failed long-term relationship with a “user” herself, so he was absolutely ripe to be a victim. She played the pity ploy, as many of the inmates do to attract enablers.
Of course, I had also been an enabler to one extent or another though at times I tried without much success to get out of that rut, but had trained some of that into my son C and when the woman used the pity ploy, he fell for it and to “save her” and her wheel chair ridden son.
The first thing she did when he moved her to our community even before he married her was to “triangulate” him from our family (I was the bad guy tryiing to keep him from marrying her and to break them up) My BAD ACTION was to counsel them to WAIT for 6 months before they married for both their sakes. He had only spent 6 months writing to her, visited her for 2 days once and then moved her to Arkansas from NY, so they had actually spent almost NO time together to get to really know each other. The honeymoon lasted according to my son for almost exactly 6 months before she started to emotionally, financially, and physically abuse him. The next 7 years were hell on earth for him. I knew something was going on, and that he was depressed and unhappy, but that was all I knew, as the family seldom saw him or her except for holiday meals which were VERY STRAINED.
I realize that the inmates attract VERY NEEDY people which they victimize, some of the other internet scams also do the same thing, and they “catch” victims that most of us would think were pretty level headed, rational people, but they are obviously more vulnerable than we know or they wouldn’t fall for such “obvious” frauds.
But the thing is, there is a “fraud” out there that will suck us in as well, maybe not one that “obvious” but there is a P out there with a fraud we will swallow hook, line and sinker! So none of us are immune. I have swallowed a BUNCH of hooks that most people wouldn’t have, so I don’t “look down” on these poor souls except with pity and a knowledge of how much they end up hurt in the end—when you live in a glass house you can’t afford to throw stones! LOL
Hello all,
I am thankful that tomorrow I will be returning to a fulfilling job that I am fairly good at. I am thankful that I now know the truth about my ex, and thankful that I am no longer susceptible to his lies. I am thankful that my youngest child was saved from him, and thankful that some of my older children will testify against him. I am thankful that I escaped with my life. And I am thankful for this site and all who post here.
Even when there is still so much pain and anguish in my family, I am thankful that my children have survived.
OxDrover&Everyone,
Just got home from Missouri and had a great visit with part of my family. Wish all my siblings could have been there! Seeing my mom, brother and sister was wonderful and we had such fun. My sister, brother inlaw and I were talking about all the people who were being pulled over and ticketed during the holiday travels as they too drove from Illinois to Missouri. My brother (twisted but so funny), remarked about how many he wondered were a bit lit and getting DUI,s. Of course there is nothing funny about people who get in a car drunk and go out and kill themselves and others, but my brother does a good impression of someone drunk trying to talk an officer out of a ticket, “Occifer I only had tee martunis and I swear to drunk I’m not God!” “I was tilly rired and on my way wome fron hirk!” Anyway, he has many of these sayings and he kept us laughing!
OxDrover, your holiday was a prayer answered. My son and I have been praying that you would have a beautiful Thanksgiving with your sons…and Bonus! We had a great holiday too! We went out to the ranch and spent one day with my brother and sister inlaw. My son wanted to bring one of the horses (Jet) home with him. Wow! That sure would get the neighbors attention in suburbia to put a horse in your backyard! No, we must save the love of horses for our visits down south. I am happy for you that your baby boys were home with you. God is good.
I agree with you that there is a change in how we view others when we have been on the receiving end of evil, pain and suffering. There is a compassion that builds for others that enables us to look beyond the surface of what some might callously call “a willing victim”. There are so many emotions involved in relationships, those expectations and hopes you write of are all in place and people end up in a kind of emotional bondage. So many times it is written in the experiences people have had in their posts of how difficult it was to pull away from those they loved and cared for in the face of the worst possible situations. Even when we are pulling away it is hard (at least it was for me) to accept and believe the severity and seriousness of the situation and the toll it has already taken on our personal, internal lives. I also used to think men and women who stayed in or kept going back to overtly abusive relationships were being dumb. Now, I understand they just want the love and change they were promised. My heart aches for them too.
I hope evryone here had a great Thanksgiving and thank you to all the people who have made this a safe haven to bear those raw emotions and help in the healing process. God Bless, Breach
Yeah inthebreach57: I don’t know why they just don’t make and sell a tape of driving and swerving all over the roads for the holidays. Give it the drunks … to stay home, put the tape in their VCRs and sit and watch the tapes while they drink their drink … so they can still get the stupid thrill of pretending they know to operate a motor vehicle while drunk out of their gourds … then the tape can show the car slamming into solid big trees, going over cliffs into ravens, smashing into guardrails … have a make shift EMTs coming to the scene of the crash … then the final shot is of the funerals scenes of not only theirs, but the innocents they killed …
I think these tapes would be a big seller … everyone would buy their friends and relatives one or all seasons of these tapes for the holidays. They can do a different variety for each holiday … showing the holiday dinners for each season … holiday music playing in the background … then the car stereo blasting .. and how they slobber all over themselves trying to change the channel … can show them trying to put the keys in the ignition … do the tapes up right … show the drunks just how out of control they really are.
Hey, you never know … maybe families would play these tapes while their guests are over … and then a light bulb would go off in the host and hostess heads NOT to allow their guest that drank to go home … it would be sleep overs for all … all through the house.
Peace … just a thought.
Dear Breach,
It makes me smile and feel warm all over to have you post such a good and happy post. The days we feel like this somehow make enduring the other days worthwhile, and thank goodness for us at least, the good days now out number the bad 100 to 1, and even then, the bad days aren’t so bad, and they don’t last for months either, but only a matter of hours.
Last year this time I was getting ready to move my RV back to the farm from the lake, and someone had murdered my gentle great white Pyrenees dog on Thanksgiving day and I was crying my eyes out, sad, hurt and ready to kill the person with my bare hands if I could have gotten them around his neck for doing such a horrible thing. It was the last of sooooo many losses that year, three of them animals that were long time family pets and favorites. This year has been complete happiness and peace.