Editor’s note: Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader.
I went on a date last night with a man I met on MillionaireMatch.com.
Looked great on paper. His photograph was so-so and I didn’t expect much.
We met at a restaurant and when he walked in I thought to myself, “Oh that’s not him; he’s too good looking.” Well it turned out to be him. We introduced, started talking and he teased me, and asked if I was buying dinner. That was my first red flag. Why would a proclaimed millionaire ask me to pay? I thought perhaps he was screening out gold diggers. We never left the bar nor had dinner, although he paid for an appetizer and drink.
He talked about his life including his sexual conquests with twin 24-year-old girls and he’s 45 like me. Why on earth would a normal, emotionally mature man talk about his three-way sex life with girls half his age on a first date? What did he think? I would be impressed with his virility? Red flag number 2.
Despite this, I see he has fallen in love with me and is ready to monogram the china. He talks about how I need to move closer, and what a good time we’re going to have. He tells me about how he is remodeling his house, and talks about the high-dollar materials, marble flooring, etc., that are going into the house.
He’s annoyingly hands-on and acts as if we are a item and tells me he feels as if he’s known me forever and how beautiful I am and how we’re perfect for each other, blah, blah, blah. Then he starts the manipulative web-spinning procedure and says things to me to create self-doubt in myself and make me feel as if I couldn’t possibly function without him. He told me I was compulsive but he would help me with my problems. Compulsive is the last damn thing I am. Now I’m starting to get creeped out.
He invites himself to my house Saturday night to sit in my hot tub. Red flag number 3. I said, “I want to see your house and all the new construction.” He says maybe the third date. I’m thinking, “What are you hiding?”
I look at my watch and say I must go home. We leave the restaurant. My car is parked out front because there was plenty of parking in the parking lot. In fact, my car was the only car in the parking lot and I asked him where his car was. He said he had it valeted and it was in the parking garage 2 blocks away. There was no valet at that restaurant. Red flag number 4. He must be driving a real piece of crap and if I were to see it, I would doubt the millionaire story.
This morning he calls me and leaves a message about how I missed spooning with him in the bed. My blood is now curdling.
I text him and said I was going to do a full search on him; it’s just something I do since I have been conned out of a lot of money by other men. I just want to protect myself from being hurt again. You understand.
He texted back and said we’re done talking.
Busted!!!! Any caring emotionally healthy man would have nothing to hide and be impressed with my desire to protect myself.
Now I get it, Donna”¦ Now I know the reason. Now I know what to look for, what to hear, and when to run.
That is such an AWESOME story!
I live the line de delivers back… “we’re done talking.”
My ex uses that line all the time when I caught him in stuff. it would be like “Im hanging up” “Im going to go now.”
All those red flags you might have missed if not for knowing what you know.
And you definately were not out of place by doing what you did and saying what you said.
Talk about the guy doing an about face. You should run the check on him anyway just for giggles.
What loser talks about doing two women on the first date. Nutjob.
Ugh
Good for you that you ran.
FANTASTIC story!!! It is so much easier to detect them now, isn’t it? As soon as he spoke about the three-way, I would have dumped him right there. No second date!
I want to leave my comment, to the reader’s letter. Just one simple question: why are you looking for men at millionareMatch? Are you looking for millionare? Why in partcular do you want to hook up with a millionare? So that you could divorce him and claim 50% of whatever he has?
Isn’t it obvious that millionare.com is similar to any other scams?
Man, I can’t believe this from the title! I never knew there was a MillionaireMatch.com website! It figures that it would be full of con artists. Could the site not be a con as well???
So, I search and find it and no matter what I put in its search engine, it always comes back: “There are 500 . . . it’s free to look . . . ”
No matter how much I restrict the search, it is the same. 500.
Do I want to register to get access because it is “free” and waste my time?
No, heck NO!
Then why should anyone think that they are going to get anything but disappointment from such a site that so obviously appeals to the greed in all of us???
Sad thing is that most con artists deliver their punch line rationalizing taking you by stating something to the effect, ‘Well, if you weren’t so greedy . . . ‘ Insinuating that you acted out of greed trying to take advantage of some decoy their hunted you with and YOU DESERVE to lose!
Or, in my case: “X, you knew I was on drugs when you met me. You KNEW I was vulnerable.” Hence, her excuse, rationalization and LICENSE enabling her to take full advantage of me!
Heck, I didn’t know she was on drugs and I certainly wasn’t trying to take advantage of her. But she presented a picture that was too good to be true.
And it’s my fault!
What woman always says she’ll let you decide and go with whatever decision you make? As a man, I thought I’d found a woman so feminine and submissive that I needed to take really good care of her and cherish her.
Man, was I had! Was I naive! She didn’t need me! At least not any longer than it took her to get her accumulated debts paid and deplete my limited resources.
Likewise, I’ll stay off MillionaireMatch.com. I want a partner, a team player. I don’t care what she has or doesn’t have for resources. I only want someone who cares enough for me to build a life together, to work hard together supporting our family.
The best enterprises start from nothing and prevail because of hard work, team work, sacrifice of self for the good of the union, for the greater good of the marriage.
Maybe that site ought to be recognized for the Gold Diggers it is designed to attract and called GoldDiggers.com?
Forgive my sarcasm but it seems so obvious that it is a losing site for losers, not for real men & women.
Hey, Holehearted, your congratulations seem premature:
She didn’t run, she jumped right in!
To gr8ful70x7:
If you read the post carefully, you would notice that this entire story took place over one date. This is common with Sociopaths. They lay it on thick and are way-too-in-to-you right from the get go. They also paint themselves as accomplished and blah blah blah…. And some are more subtle that the story above.
Please don’t come here and attack people that are sharing their story. This is a safe place to “Tell the truth even if we look stupid” to others who maybe don’t understand. Besides, I don’t think the author looks stupid… she looks darn smart to me.
Respectfully,
Alohatraveler
I do have to say I agree in some respects with stemcell and gra8tful to some extent.
Maybe that site was built for rich people tp attract other rich people. So then why is it cheaper than match.com? Or is it free just to look?
Anyway they have a point… the whole thing seems fishy… like it was started by some cons to attract people who might be a bit on the greedy side?
Read this review of the site…
http://www.cupidsreviews.com/dating/Millionaire-Match.html
Another site says its…
Male / female ratio – 80% Women, 20% Men
Hmmm that’s a real big gap there. What are a woman’s chance of finding man on there?
Also, are you telling me there are more rich women than men? Or is that there are more women searching for rich men than there are men searching for rich women?
The site itself is not that impressive and looks amatuerish right?
I bet it was started by a few cons looking for marks.
It might be partially legit… who knows. But it seems like too easy of a site for conpersons to utilize.
Ugh I am so turned off to men and dating and sex I just want to throw up about the whole thing.
I just turned 40 and everything is so different now as far as how I feel about myself. I just feel like the best years of my life were wasted.
Thanks, Alohatraveler for your comment re. posting on this website without fear of condemnation. Sometimes it just helps to share the fall out of our actions. Its all about helping others feel less alone & giving hope for a better life.
The internet dating situation is the perfect hunting ground for predators of all types. A friend shared a book with me by Dr. Neil CLark Warren, founder of e-harmony, called “Finding the love of your life”. Get yourself healthy…(Chap. 4) has info about sociopaths and other disorders to run for your life from if you should see the signs. Its too easy for internet predators to hide their lies, craziness, post false info and pictures. Its only my opinion but I think seeing the signs this way is impossible. The thought of a first date under these circumstances is enough to give me nightmares. I’ve talked to others who have had terrible internet dating experiences, some VERY scary. Be careful, be very careful if this is the route anyone decides to take. Especially if you see major parts of your life here on lovefraud.
Come on then – anyone for lovefraudsingles.com?!
(Though I’m a better candidate for codependantsingles.com – people who are financially independent, don’t think they’re god’s gift to the opposite sex, believe everyone can be fixed and like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt!)
Pah. Better to have loved and lost, innit? Innit??
I have just finally dispensed with a relationship with a man who I had an on and off relationship with, for nearly a year and a half. Unfortunately, through exhaustion, emotional anxiety, and stress I have suffered through this man’s behaviour – I have since realised by trawling round the internet that this man is without doubt a sociopath. When I walked into a pub one day and he was there, he said that I was the one. From then, he sent me 48 txt messages the first night I gave him my number, he was like a kid with a new toy, said I ticked all his boxes. Only at the time I was flattered and didnt really understand till the end what boxes he was ticking. As soon as he gained my committment and loyalty his odd behaviour started, cancelling arrangements, not contacting me on some days – particularly Wednesdays, keeping his phone on a Pin number. He had 13 phones when I first met him and he had lived and worked all over the place. For a man of 40 who worked 60 hrs a week, he had no money. lived in a squalid rented room and frequently ran out of money after being paid. At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but then as things went along, he was doing lots of odd bits of behaviour that didnt seem to add up. I asked him lots of questions and he often gave me very vague answers or answers I couldnt check. He emotionally manipulated me and said and did things that would drive me crazy. If I rang him at work, he would turn his phone off. I couldnt get into his phone, but I started to check him out, checking where he was, but i think he was very clever and he protected his privacy fiercely. We must have broke up ten times and each time he would either throw all my gifts away or I would find them in a bag on my doorstep the next day. Then a week or so later, I would get a txt out of the blue, asking if I still had his coat..etc..and stupidly I would take him back. During the last part of this summer I decided I would take him back the last time. We were in a pub and he gave me one of his old phones to have (it was not even a month old) and as I fired it up I saw phone numbers that he had obviously collected from women at work and I realised that he had found himself a nice little job working as virtually the only male in a building full of females, nurses, social workers etc. I asked him to explain the numbers or collect his belongings. An hour or two later I came home and found him stuffing his belongings into a bag as quickly as possible. He borrowed a phone of mine and on checking it I found the evidence that he had been having an intimate relationship. I suspect that he had a number of relationships and probably used chat/sex lines. I dont know what I saw in him, he had nothing to offer and he wasnt very nice as a person – gruff, arrogant, rigid, judgemental. I got rid of him over two months ago, but i cant stop thinking about him – which shows me how much he brainwashed me and I am quite intelligent. I have since realised that my father was also probably a sociopath, he was cold and unfeeling too and walked out on my mother who was ill with two kids and just made himself a new life with someone else without a thought for us.