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Most cheaters are amateurs; sociopaths are professionals

Lovefraud recently received a very nice e-mail from the editor of HowToDoThings.com, complimenting the information provided by Lovefraud. She suggested that an article from her website might be of interest to Lovefraud readers. It is called How To Recognize the Signs of Cheating Men.

I checked out the article. Now, I mean absolutely no disrespect to HowToDoThings.com, but the article describes cheating by mere amateurs, not sociopaths.

Signs of a cheating man

According to the article, all of the following should raise a woman’s suspicions that her guy might be cheating:

1. He improves his personal appearance.
2. He finds fault with you.
3. Your sex life changes.
4. He uses a new phone or other new technologies.
5. Your intuition tells you something is wrong.
6. His routine changes, or he has new interests.
7. His work or financial habits change.
8. You find evidence of another woman.

The key here is that something about the guy’s behavior is different. I’m sure this is the case if a guy who is reasonably normal, albeit bored or unhappy, strays. But it’s not the case with sociopaths.

For sociopaths, cheating is a way of life, so there is no change to notice.

Cheating by professionals

Sociopaths—both men and women—are professional cheaters, liars and manipulators. So let’s take a look at the list in the context of a sociopath.

1. There probably won’t be a change in personal appearance. Either they’re always obsessive about how they look, or they rely on their skills of seduction.

2. After initial flattery to get you hooked, a sociopath will start finding fault with you. In time, the sociopath blames you for being the source of all problems.

3. Sociopaths always have plenty of sexual tricks and incredible stamina, so they’ll continue to get sex from you, even if they’re getting it from someone else.

4. A new phone is simply another new toy, and sociopaths love toys. In fact, they’ll get you to buy the toys.

5. Your intuition has probably always been telling you something is wrong. But sociopaths have so many glib explanations that you no longer trust your own perceptions.

6. Sociopaths are always coming and going, and they’re always starting something new. After awhile, you accept this as normal.

7. A sociopath is always irresponsible. Jobs and money just disappear. This, too, becomes normal.

8. When you find direct evidence of cheating, the sociopath either explains it away, or accuses you of being paranoid.

The problem about being involved with a sociopath is that he or she is always erratic, and you are always off balance. So it’s difficult to see the signs of cheating, especially as the sociopath continues to profess his or her love and concern for you.

In fact, you may never find out the extent of the cheating until the sociopath discards you. Only then, when the sociopath no longer bothers to spin a web of deceit, might you find out what was really going on.


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59 Comments on "Most cheaters are amateurs; sociopaths are professionals"

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I had my fill of bad counselors/therapists as I was trying to figure out what was wrong. CSATs (schooled in Patrick Carnes 12-step theory of so called “sex addiction” are the WORST!!!!!!!!

They try to blame you for the cheating, deception, lies and perversion! Stay away from the 12-step mindset. It’s nothing short of therapy abuse for betrayed spouses. Find a good trauma therapist…who understands what sociopaths/narcissists do to their spouses. The work of Dr. Omar Minwalla- explains the so called “sex addicts” …perfectly!

Early in my marriage….I caught Dancing Dick red handed- voyeuring/masterbating at my 15 year old neighbor. That’s after the hundreds of dollars in dial-a-whore bills flooded my mail box. I had no idea what I was dealing with. And…I did not live a sheltered life!

This last D-day….he sent 42 unwanted, lewd texts to my neighbor Monica. Complete with pictures of his penis. She nearly had him arrested. Sorry she didn’t! They do not stop with the porn/perversion…..I have seen it with my own eyes. No marriage counselor could “help.” Because this NOT a “marriage problem.” It’s a moral deficiency on behalf of the cheater/pervert/liar/deceiver. It doesn’t stop when they get old- they still keep at it.

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