Editor’s note: Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader.
I went on a date last night with a man I met on MillionaireMatch.com.
Looked great on paper. His photograph was so-so and I didn’t expect much.
We met at a restaurant and when he walked in I thought to myself, “Oh that’s not him; he’s too good looking.” Well it turned out to be him. We introduced, started talking and he teased me, and asked if I was buying dinner. That was my first red flag. Why would a proclaimed millionaire ask me to pay? I thought perhaps he was screening out gold diggers. We never left the bar nor had dinner, although he paid for an appetizer and drink.
He talked about his life including his sexual conquests with twin 24-year-old girls and he’s 45 like me. Why on earth would a normal, emotionally mature man talk about his three-way sex life with girls half his age on a first date? What did he think? I would be impressed with his virility? Red flag number 2.
Despite this, I see he has fallen in love with me and is ready to monogram the china. He talks about how I need to move closer, and what a good time we’re going to have. He tells me about how he is remodeling his house, and talks about the high-dollar materials, marble flooring, etc., that are going into the house.
He’s annoyingly hands-on and acts as if we are a item and tells me he feels as if he’s known me forever and how beautiful I am and how we’re perfect for each other, blah, blah, blah. Then he starts the manipulative web-spinning procedure and says things to me to create self-doubt in myself and make me feel as if I couldn’t possibly function without him. He told me I was compulsive but he would help me with my problems. Compulsive is the last damn thing I am. Now I’m starting to get creeped out.
He invites himself to my house Saturday night to sit in my hot tub. Red flag number 3. I said, “I want to see your house and all the new construction.” He says maybe the third date. I’m thinking, “What are you hiding?”
I look at my watch and say I must go home. We leave the restaurant. My car is parked out front because there was plenty of parking in the parking lot. In fact, my car was the only car in the parking lot and I asked him where his car was. He said he had it valeted and it was in the parking garage 2 blocks away. There was no valet at that restaurant. Red flag number 4. He must be driving a real piece of crap and if I were to see it, I would doubt the millionaire story.
This morning he calls me and leaves a message about how I missed spooning with him in the bed. My blood is now curdling.
I text him and said I was going to do a full search on him; it’s just something I do since I have been conned out of a lot of money by other men. I just want to protect myself from being hurt again. You understand.
He texted back and said we’re done talking.
Busted!!!! Any caring emotionally healthy man would have nothing to hide and be impressed with my desire to protect myself.
Now I get it, Donna”¦ Now I know the reason. Now I know what to look for, what to hear, and when to run.
Ox Drover
YOu know, it makes my blood boil that these jerks fake a military disability and get paid the rest of their life and free medical care, and the REAL heroes and the ones really in need of these things get cheated. I hope they prosecute his butt for fraud and put his butt in a military prison where he belongs. Maybe they will. Keep us posted Star gazer, and if that happens we will have a little Love Fraud Party. We can all put on some records, dance around our computers, and celebrate in cyberspace! LOL
Stargazer
Yep, this sociopath messed with the wrong person! I cannot tell you how empowering it was to turn him in. I realize that many victims don’t have the opportunity to do that.
alohatraveler
I agree with OXY. Do let us know what happens.
Stargazer
While I was dating him, I honestly believed him to be a war hero. He gets a really big monthly pension from the army (paid for by our tax dollars, BTW) to sit around and play women on the internet and collect snakes (we met on a snake forum). Apparently, I’m in the wrong field!
Ox Drover
I’m sorry for the snakes, they are in bad company.
Stargazer
Players are often compared to snakes. I think this gives snakes a really bad rap. My boa constrictors have never treated me as badly as he did!
JaneSmith
haha….awesomely funny Oxy and Stargazer’s reply…haha.
And…I completely agree. We compare the unsavory behavior of people to a particular critter, totally insulting them as they’re just doing what a critter does.
I think when one of my kitties misbehaves I’m going to scold them by saying…”quit acting like a HUMAN for goodness sakes!”….haha.
Stargazer
ha ha just a slight hijack of the topic….I was looking online for some good books about sociopaths when I came across one called Snake in a Suit. It had a picture of an adorable ball python draped around this guy’s neck. If only the author knew that ball pythons are the gentlest, most laid back, and (yes) cuddliest(!) of all the snakes. I’m just so sure that all of you will now become snake lovers as a result of this forum. LOL
Hijack over.
JaneSmith
Stargazer,
I absolutely adore (and respect) snakes and pretty much all critters in general. Even vultures, hyenas, bats and other shudder inducing critters. They all have a right to live their lives, creating a balance in nature.
Not to creep anyone out….but I lived with a NORMAL (haha, I guess that’s up for debate) dude for a short period of time in my late 20s. He was very much “into” exotic pets and owned a gorgeous female boa, a female iguana, and a fascinating female tarantula.
Well, he came home from work one day and was surprised to find me laying on the couch, book in my right hand, boa wrapped around my left hand/arm, and the iguana on my belly fast asleep. I only doted on the lovely tarantula by herself as I don’t think she would have appreciated being all snuggy with an iguana and a snake…heehee.
He stopped in his tracks and said…”so, I guess you and my pets are getting along quite nicely.”…haha. Yes, we did!
When I asked him to move out a couple of months later, as usual with my xs who had pets and children, I missed his beautiful critter kids a hell of a lot more than I missed him.
Stargazer
LOL! Now that we have successfully hijacked this thread, I will add that it is a common scene around my house for me to be reading a book with a snake wrapped around my arm and his snout in the pages, or to be watching a movie with a snake in my lap under the blanket and a cat lying on top of the blanket keeping her warm. 🙂 🙂
The sociopath was a snake lover, too, and that was a big source of bonding for us. It’s very hard to find men who love animals and especially reptiles. That’s one of the things that made him so appealing.
Jane, you know you want to get a pet snake……:)
StarG