By | May 15, 2012 68 Comments

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Funny, don’t you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I’ve written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I’ve loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here’s what happened”¦

Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son’s life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in the end we had decided that the best and most relaxing option would be to drive down on Thursday evening, stay in a hotel, and get to the university bright and breezy the next morning. He also had a friend who was interviewing in the afternoon, so I agreed to take them both down together and stay in Bordeaux for the day until they’d both finished, then drive them back home. Good plan. Sensible option. Logical planning”¦. Right?

Well, yes, in theory”¦. In practice, though, as Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. And he’s right – because I sure wasn’t expecting what happened next! There we all were, driving happily along the motorway, chatting and singing along to the music, just a few kilometres out of Bordeaux, when all of a sudden the car lost power”¦. Completely. Pushing on the accelerator pedal, there was nothing happening — we just started going slower and slower, as cars whizzed past us, flashing and beeping because we were causing a blockage.


With hazard lights blinking, I managed to pull the car over to the side, and asked Dylan to call my local garage straight away and let them know what had happened. The garage is run by a lovely man who is extremely helpful — and who has had to arrange to pick me up once before when the same car refused to start. This time, though, we were miles away”¦ and I knew that nothing could be done until the next day.

“This is serious, but it’s ok” I said to my two passengers “We’ll stay calm and find a way through” Both of them nodded, totally unfazed by what was going on.

While Dylan was still on the phone, I restarted the car and it seemed to work again. Kicking back in to action, we pulled off the hard shoulder and back in to the stream of traffic. All seemed well, but then it happened again”¦. This time there were even more cars around us — but there was also a slip road coming up. I pulled over again and stopped the engine.

“Right, we’re heading for that turn-off” I said “Can you guys keep your eyes peeled and help guide me?” They nodded, and I prayed that I’d be able to start the car again. Yup”¦ thank goodness, she started straight away, and the three of us willed her to keep going.

We managed to pull off, and, as luck would have it, the road took us straight to a park and ride, where you can leave your car and take the tram in to town. I smiled to myself — and then laughed out loud as I noticed that the name of the road we were parked in was LaVergne”¦ my best friend’s new surname after she got married last month.

Nowhere To Stay

All seemed well, until we called the apartment to let them know we’d be late. It was just gone 8pm, but their reception had closed 5 minutes before we rang. I’d prepaid for the room, but with no way of contacting the owners we knew it made no sense to traipse over to an empty apartment, because we wouldn’t be able to get in. So now we were car-less and hotel-less in a town that none of us knew.

And this, I believe, is a perfect example to show that what we choose to think can make an experience better or worse. I’m not saying that positive thinking will change the situation — but I am saying whole-heartedly that choosing supportive thoughts can affect the way we respond. And, therefore, increase the likelihood of keeping our options open, staying focused and finding a helpful solution.

So, having locked up the car and arranged to meet the tow-truck the next morning, the three of us picked up our overnight bags and headed towards the tram station.

“Well, this isn’t what we planned is it eh?” I said to Dylan and his friend Claire, consciously keeping a smile on my face to reassure them.

“It’s ok, it’s an adventure!” piped up Claire, by this time echoing the words I’d used earlier on. The three of us got on to the tram and headed in to town to find a room for the night.

Now, the point here is this. Imagine how different the mood might have been had any of us decided to panic or become frightened? Instead, we stayed together, kept smiling, and just knew we’d find a solution.

Until we suddenly realised that Dylan had left his bag at the tram station. His bag contained his passport and all the papers he needed for his meeting — without these he would not be allowed to take part and would automatically forfeit his chance to interview. Adrenalin pumping, we all jumped off at the next stop. Taking Dylan’s other bag from him, Claire and I headed back towards the tram station while Dylan sprinted for all he was worth. We still managed to keep a cool head — despite what was going on around us. Not knowing whether or not the bag would still be there, Claire and I started exploring options around what we could do in the worst-case scenario.

Looking On The Bright Side

Luckily his bag was still there — and once again we started counting all the good things about what was happening. The fact that we’d managed to get off the motorway. That we knew a garage who could come and help. That we’d managed to park right near a tram station. That we’d found the bag. That, if push came to shove we could even sleep in the car”¦ we only focused on our ”˜luck’ in what was, quite frankly, a pretty grim situation.

The situation got worse, because every hotel we visited or called was fully booked. It was 11pm before we eventually found a place to stay — the room was costly, but it didn’t matter. At least we’d be able to rest and wash for the morning! None of us had eaten, so we headed straight out to find the only place that might possibly still be open — a MacDonald’s.  Tired and hungry, we were delighted to find that the lights were still on — but as we got nearer, realised that they were just shutting up.

Still we didn’t give up. We noticed that this particular restaurant also had a drive in — and realised that it was still open! We didn’t have a car, of course, but decided that was no problem. We’d ask them at the counter, and if that didn’t work then we’d ask one of the driving customers to place an order for us. It worked. They agreed to serve us, and we sat outside greedily devouring our burgers — I usually don’t go anywhere near fast food like that, but let me tell you, right then it tasted like manna from heaven!

Looking at the two young people who were sitting with me, I felt exceptionally proud to be with them both. Despite the difficult situation, and the possible threat to their big day tomorrow, they’d both kept calm, focused and light-hearted throughout the ordeal. We were all tired, but we all still had smiles on our faces and continued to joke about the evening’s shenanigans.

“We’re really lucky you know, mum” said Dylan, stuffing the last few chips into his mouth “things could have been a lot worse if you think about it. Thank goodness we decided to come down today — we’d never have made it if we’d gone with our original plan to leave early tomorrow morning!”

That, for me, sums it all up. It doesn’t matter what happens to us — there will always be things that are out of our control, some good and some bad”¦. Some very bad in actual fact. But no matter what happens, we always, always have a choice about the way we choose to think about it and the way in which we respond. So in that way, we are always free. Forever.

By the way, both of them had brilliant interviews and caught the train back together, while I got home in the tow-truck. All’s well that ends well, eh? And, in my experience, it always does end well in some way, shape or form.

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Thanks Mel – you are so right. Even when bad things happen, our attitudes make all the difference.

we are on the same wavelength, I’ve been thinking about a box of chocolates too!

I interpret Forrest Gump’s attitude about life being “like a box of chocolates” to the idea of not being attached to any particular outcome and instead accepting and experiencing each chocolate for its own merits.

The reason I was thinking about this is because spaths set us up with expectations. They are con artists and that’s what con artists do. Then they swap the chocolate with poison and we eat “bitter fruit”.

This is what my spath tried to do to me. He was literally poisoning me for decades. I’m sure he was laughing as I tried my damnedest to eat organic, wheat-free, sugar-free, healthy food and not realizing it had strychnine in it. The constant pain in my muscles drove me to eliminate more and more foods from my diet. I went a whole year once eating almost nothing but yogurt and rice cakes.

Then, near the end, he called me from the millionaire friend’s house where he was staying. He said, “I think they’re trying to poison me. I have a bottle of pepto bismal and I think they’ve put something in it.”

I asked him why he thought that and he said, “I don’t know, I just have a feeling about it. So I bought another bottle of pepto and I have it hidden. What do you think I should do? What would you do?”

“Well, spath, I think that’s a good plan if you really think that they are poisoning you. Myself, I would just take the poison pepto.” I replied.

“You would?” spath asked. “why?”

“Yeah, spath, I would. I just would.”

Honestly, I don’t know why I said that. At the time, I didn’t know what he was or that he was poisoning me. But I think it was more of a philosophical retort. I am kind of like Forrest Gump in that I never had much attachment to any outcomes. What I have is more like curiosity. This is what drove the spath crazy. He couldn’t disappoint me as much as he wanted to. If I would even accept poison, how utterly powerless did that make him?


Wonderful story, Mel. Attitude is everything.

Wow, skylar!! Just wow. I am so sorry you went thru all that, (((skylar))). The evil some do just boggles my mind. You are amazingly strong & resilient. Wishing you health & blessings.


Dear Mel, thank you for your uplifting story. It is not only attitude, you were also preparing for “bad weather” by driving the day before honoring the importance of the situation. So you had spare time and could (without any panic) live by the moment and make the best out of it. Congratulation! Had you been “just in time”, just “hoping for the best” without “preparing for the worst”, things would have been MUCH different.

Oh, jeez. I just realized why he told me there was poison in his pepto. duh. He asked what I would do if I suspected that I was being poisoned. Oh my.

At that point, about Jan 2009, he was planning on leaving for 2 months in June to work across the state. When I left him in May, he emptied the refrigerator. That’s because there was poison in all the food. Before, when he had poisoned me, he only put small amounts in to make me miserable but not too sick usually. That summer, he was planning to kill me, so he must have ramped up the amount of poison and put it in all the food to make me really sick. He wanted to know what I would do because he needed to anticipate if I would take the food in to be tested at a lab.

My response to him, confirmed that he was safe to poison me because I would just accept it.

Well, that proves it, you can give a spath a rope and he will hang himself.

Thanks for the hugs ((Clair)), you may have triggered this revelation.


Dear Sky, what a horrible horrible situation! Hopefully this Spath got his karma working! ((((Skylar))))
I wish you all the best! Did you have him arrested for attempted murder? Have a good safe night!


Mel, thanks for such an uplifting story – reading positive messages is very helpful to me.

Skylar…..dear heart. Protective blessings to you – thank GOODNESS you’re okay and free.

no he’s still out there doing evil. He always gets away with murder and attempted murder. When I went to the Sheriff to tell him how dangerous he was, the Sheriff said, “well if he’s so dangerous, why don’t you move?”

In fact the local cops were on his side. He had been grooming them for 2 decades and I had been completely unaware. He told me he hated cops but later, his friends told me that he was hanging out with them at the “cop-shop”.

There had been clues all along, but I just couldn’t believe them because I couldn’t believe one crucial thing: He didn’t love me because he’s a spath.

Not knowing what a spath is, is a HUGE liability in life. We need to educate everyone.

Thank you, ((Truthspeak))

Ox Drover

Mel, great article. I think part of the reason the problems we encounter (like the car) aren’t as devastating as the BETRAYALS from the psychopaths is that we realize that the car isn’t TRYING to hurt us, the bag isn’t out to get us… just HAPPENS. Shiat happens. It is when something is trying to hurt us, or enjoying hurting us that we have emotional problems with it. Big difference between betrayal and stuff happening.

LIFE happens when we have made other plans…but when someone or something sets out to hurt us—whether it is a human, a dog, a wolf or a vampire, it is a different kettle of fish!

Glad your kids did well and had great interviews and that your vehicle got towed.

One of my vehicles did the same thing on the way to my son’s birthday party a hour away from home. It is now in the hospital getting a new motor transplant.


Boy, that box of chocolates looks good and makes me want to go out and buy one to have on display!

I must confess I think a very SPath thing was done to me by my family of origin, and I’d like some input please.

I’m fearing that my father’s death is going to replay itself with my mother. I’m not being told any details of her true condition, despite my very specific questions that go unanswered. I have been shut out before and I’m afraid it’s going to happen again.

So here’s what I question. Is it SPath like to not tell someone (me) that my father was getting last rites on his birthday? I only found out after the fact. Is this something that is planned in advance or does it just happen very quickly? I live out of state, but they effectively removed me from everything. I know this may sound odd, but couldn’t they at least have phoned me and put me on speaker? I don’t know, I’m just really bothered now as no one will give me the straight scoop on my mother and I’m feeling shut out again.

This is a negative version of a box of chocolates, I guess. Sorry, it’s just keeping me awake.


Dear Sky, VERY disturbing!! No wonder there is so much distrust in the world. Fortunately there are lots of articles on everyday psychopaths (in the financial sector mainly) in the news. But your venomous snake and the cop’s snakepit are a complete other league (if you would suggest such a plot to a Hollywood mogul it would be dismissed as completely exaggerated, I am sure!)

To be on the right side of justice and getting justice are two pairs of shoes, as my father the lawyer always told us.

Why is moving not an option? I know it is very difficult, but I am also considering it right now, and just the thinking about the possibilities is very lifting my spirits, that there is an exit from all of it towards quieter aereas. (or do you think better the devil you know?). (((Hugs))), and have a great day!


So, Skylar, how did you actually discover the truth about the poisoning? Did you end up taking food to the lab? Did he come out and tell you everything? How long did it take for you to recover, once you switched to non-poisoned food? Did you use the legal system against him for this crime?

That is one of those incredible, hard to believe kinds of abuse. I don’t mean that I don’t believe you… but I’m wondering if you ran into people who didn’t believe you.

I’m also starting to wonder how common this poisoning thing is. First your story, then the other one… I swear, it just never occurred to me that people would be so evil. This is like stealth murder, very covert, incredibly evil.

Thank God you caught on before it killed you.


Kathy0707, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, drops feathers like a duck, and eats duck-food, chances are that it’s probably a duck. What does your “gut” instinct tell you? Did this follow a pattern of behaviors, or could it simply have been an oversight in the pandemonium of someone’s passing? Only you know the answers to this.

Skylar, I’m so grateful that you are out of that situation. I often wonder if the expsath would have resorted to seeing that I met an unexpected demise – still do. That you were dismissed by Law Enforcement is no surprise, but it’s still a supreme slap in the face, isn’t it? To “serve and protect” is the silliest motto, EVER. And, the setup of presenting an attitude of disdain against local cops while he was actually infiltrating their culture is TYPICAL spath! Exspath always went on and on and on about how much he despised the people that he worked with and philanderers. Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle, “black?”

20years, it is very, very, very easy to poison someone over a period of time. There are common household chemicals that will cause symptoms that mimic many illnesses and chronic conditions. Add in the crazymaking and anything’s possible. In my case, I’m taking chemotherapy and the exspath was already beginning to set me up to appear unstable – he even used this word a month before I made my discovery. He could easily have dumped the entire lot of chemo in a drink, disappeared long enough for me to have died, and claimed that I had been in such a painful state and exhibiting “unstable” behaviors that I probably decided to just end my pain, myself.

Is murder likely? In most cases, no, unless money is involved. Is murder possible? Oh, yes indeedy, it is! Ask OxyD about it…’ll raise the hairs on your neck.


This blog actually is very triggering for me. First I am a non-anonymous chocolate addict. Therefore the addiction theme is not foreign to me, and the shame-addiction was a HUGE A-HA-moment for me!

Poisoning with food is also a BIG trigger for me. My parents were brought up during WWII, and they have a HUGE attic with lots of canned food. When I was this winter at the parent’s house helping them to clear it, as I wanted to do something useful with my unemployment time, I discovered cans from the last millennium they were still cooking with and serving to eat. No wonder we always had upset stomaches after having been invited. It was a big fight with my father, but at last I got rid of all the unhealthy stuff. It was no malicious intent involved, so I hope, because he ate it himself too.

Truthspeak, be VERY careful with your chemo!!!!! Lock them away. Do a count of the tablets and have them recorded regularly and keep the record seperately. So you have control about the number of tablets.Do NOT show him!!! ((((Hugs))))

I haven’t lived there for 3 years. I live with my BF and before that with my parents. The house is sitting empty and rotting because I know that his minions will inform him of whatever I do. They will sabotage any attempt to sell it or rent it. He put his minions in as my neighbors.

20 years,
I was sick for the last 23 years I was with him but managed it with supplements that gave me diarhea. Never could figure out why that helped!

Then when I left him, he called me, “skylar come home, I cleaned the house for you.” I waited til he was gone and went to check. The house was a disaster, but the REFRIGERATOR WAS EMPTY! wtf?

I thought maybe he was trying to eliminate his finger prints. I’m sort of slow. Poison never occurred to me at this point, even though he had often said, “You’d be so EASY to poison because you take so many vitamins.” wtf?

Spaths will “tell” the truth with a twist to make it a lie. He didn’t poison my vitamins, he poisoned the food.

As the week progressed, I noticed that all the pain I had had for 20 years was going away and I didn’t need to manage it with diarhea. It very slowly dawned on me. The food had poison. But I still didn’t know what he poisoned me with.

So a couple of months later, I point blank asked him. And he told me, “a little bit of strychnine, a little bit of botulism toxin and other things. I like to mix it up.”

I didn’t really believe he’d tell me the truth. Which is what he counted on, that’s why he told the truth.

I checked the symptoms and they matched.

It blows me away that I still feel sorry for him. How weird is that?

Initially it was not about killing me. It was about keeping me sick so I couldn’t work or go to school.

In the end, he convinced me to write a will. Of course he gets everything. That’s when he started to plot my demise.
And yes, truthspeak, the very first thing he did was tell everyone that I was a depressed, drug addict, alcoholic, including my pharmacist. Then my lunesta started to disappear, one or two per month. It was hard to keep track because I was cutting them in half to take only partial doses. I thought I had miscounted.

Frankly, I believe that they ALL poison us. Some do it more often than others, but I just don’t see any of them NOT doing something that is so easy to get away with and so evil.

I met a couple that lived about a mile away. I told them my story. They said that their neighbor’s wife had been poisoning his coffee for years with rat poison, until a doctor got suspicious and they set up video cameras to catch her in the act. What are the odds of two poisoning spaths within 1 mile?

When you’re sick, you can never discount the possibility of poison. Either intentional or unintentional.


Libelle, thank goodness we are separated and have not had contact in months and months. But, the thought was always in the back of my mind after I discovered what he was and, especially, after how/why my finances vanished.

Skylar, jayzus criminy… just turns my blood to water to read of your experiences. I am SOOOOO grateful that you made it out and are relatively safe.

HUGS, hugs, and hugs….

You too Truthspeak. Be very careful with you meds. It follows the 180 rule, that they would poison the things you expect to make you well. It make it more ironic when your meds kill you.

In my case, he knew how fanatical I was about eating healthy, so I’m sure he found it quite comical that I was paying top dollar for organic, gluten free, poison.


Skylar, this whole discussion makes me really, REALLY wonder about a number of things. At the moment, I’m not going to entertain my darkest fears, but several things point to the possibility that I could have been experiencing the same things….Regardless of what really happened during those years, I have come to accept that they were an elaborate illusion that fell apart and he never, in his wildest dreams, expected me to have the backbone to end the marriage. After all, I was sick with a chronic, lifelong disease, needed medical care, and I didn’t have any means of supporting myself, right? What, on earth, would allow me to believe that I could exist without HIM?!

I’m going to sing this song from the musical, “Oklahoma:”
Oh, what a beautiful morning!
Oh, what a beautiful day!
I’ve got a wonderful feeling
Everything’s goin’ my way!



This talk about poisoning is SO disturbing. Important, though.

Skylar, did you go to a doctor for your symptoms, or try to treat yourself?

I guess what I’m getting at is — how many people do you suppose there are, who are in abusive spath relationships, who are literally being poisoned, go to their doctors with mysterious complaints, and the doctors never assume, “could it be that a family member is poisoning this person” and ask some questions, try to figure it out?

I mean — do you think that in medical school it might be taught, “as farfetched as it sounds, always consider poisoning — even deliberate slow poisoning — as a possible cause of mysterious, seemingly unresolvable symptoms.”

I would hope this would occur to doctors — but I have a feeling that most doctors would not suspect.

Can these poisons be detected in urine or blood — that could be an easy diagnosis?

I know there are naturally occurring toxins and poisons, we can inadvertently poison ourselves if we are not careful with our food prep and storage — but the kind of stuff you describe, Skylar…. seems to me that a doctor SHOULD consider poisoning and try to figure it out.


Ox Drover

20 years, skylar’s x is a murderer…multiple murders. He would “work on” an aircraft and then lo and behold it would accidently crash. My late husband and I own an airport and my husband was a mechanic and aircraft inspector…I got the NTSB report on a crash that happened where Sky’s X turned the door hinges up side down and after take off the aircraft crashed when the doors fell off and got into the rotor. That is NOT an accident…how ever, there is no way to prove he did it…but he told sky what happened…He had to have an “audience” someone to know how smart he was to get away with murder. How many other times? who knows?

In theory the pilot is supposed to “check:” the door hinges before take off and usually this consists of an open and close and if the door seems secure, that’s a check. WHO would have thought the pins were in upside down? It wasn’t something that was easily visible and the aircraft had gone through a complete check only 3 days before by a licensed AI…2 men died that day because Sky’s X is a psychopath.

My X BF burned his X GF’s house, we know it, just like sky knows what happened the day those two men died, but there is NO way to prove it in a court…


OxD….omigod…..and, they are so frigging SLICK, aren’t they. I’m nearly speechless.

20years, med students do glance over numerous things that they “should” be on the lookout for, like poisoning, domestic violence/abuse, child abuse, etc. Having said that, most larger ERs are so busy that the symptoms are treated more often than a diagnosis rendered. So, a patient comes in presenting a migraine and they’re given Zomig, or some other treatment for the symptoms. They will NOT order a toxicology to look for strychnine or other poisons, even if this is my third visit to the ER in 10 days. They don’t have the time, or the inclination. They just want the patients treated and either released or admitted if it falls within their guidelines (or, the insurance policies’ guidelines).

It IS disturbing and it SHOULD be disturbing. Real Life isn’t anything even resembling “Law & Order” or “CSI.” And, there lies the sociopathic loophole.


20years, I don’t know if you’re an avid reader or not, but I just finished an extraordinarily disturbing novel by Robin Cook that’s titled “Toxin.” This story is somewhat older, but it speaks about e.Coli and is NOT for the timid reader. It’s a medical thriller with a lot of true information and it clearly discusses how a serious medical emergency can be overlooked or misdiagnosed. Happens all of the time.

So, yeah…..


Skylar & OxD…..I had to re-read Oxy’s post about the NTSB. I’m simply in horror, here. Absolute horror.

Skylar, if you were standing in front of me, I would throw my arms around you and hold you close and tight. You, Oxy, and all of the survivors here (and, elsewhere) are my heroes. Your courage, bravery, and fortitude make me feel so humble and grateful.

No pity-parties for Truthspeak, today!



That sounds like a really good read — I like mysteries of that sort, like tracking down corporate misdeeds and coverups in contamination of the environment, our food supply, etc. 😉 Whether or not the mysterious ailments are caused by a deliberate act or not. Thanks for the recommendation.

That story about the plane hinges is so shockingly awful. And to know the truth and not be able to have sufficient proof… you know the perpetrators are going to get away with it (and live to commit MORE heinous crimes) — sickening.

kim frederick Speaking about poisoners, I thought I’d share this about Marie Hilley.


wow, Kim. That is quite a story!



I have a history of being left out by my family. When I went to X state to take care of my father for many days due to his Alzheimer’s I discovered that my siblings’ names were on the Power of Attorney and not mine. This was changed after my mother made it happen. Then when my dad quit eat and taking in any food or liquid I was not told, until someone who is not a member of my FOO felt I had a right to know. Death was imminent, so effectively they gave me very little time or no time to be there at the end. I was given a cell phone call the day before he died and five minutes to say good-bye. This was the day after last rites. I suppose I could have hopped on a plane but at that point I guess I felt that phone call was my good-bye. He died the next morning.

I sent my brother an very explicit email last night (nice and not accusatory) asking the very specific questions I want answered. I am NOT going to have a repeat of what happened with my dad’s situation happen again with my mother.

One other thing – an amendment was signed to his trust many years ago (and neither my mom or I think he was in any shape to sign anything) giving my brothers complete control over how any inheritance would be distributed and to whomever they wished and in any amounts. My mom was not aware of this until I told her last year.

So it’s safe to say at this point I don’t trust any of them. I don’t know if this makes one or more an SPath or just siblings who wish I’d disappear, but it does upset me very much. If I don’t get a return email with my questions answered, I am just going to fly there and ask the questions myself. Thanks for answering my post.


Oops, please excuse any typos. For some reason I can’t edit the above.

Yes, 20 years, I went to doctors constantly. One naturopath suggested I should call a psychic. I refused. That’s probably the one that would’ve called it right. All the medical doctor’s wanted me on prozac and xanax. The way I eventually treated myself was by taking so much magnesium that I got diarhrea. There were other supplements that helped too.

Spath flew around in a helicopter that he got for free. He conned a guy into buying it together, promising to pay his half later. Then talked the same guy into just signing the whole thing over to him because he didn’t want to be a co-owner. Meanwhile, he is illegally working on another aircraft that the same guy owns and flies. Then that aircraft, a gyro, falls out of the sky and spath never paid for his helicopter.

As I was leaving him, he had already talked another millionaire into buying ANOTHER helicopter, and was working on that guy’s aircraft “under the table”. In other words, there are no records of him touching those aircraft which he doesn’t have a license to fix.

He could easily have bought helicopters for himself. He just doesn’t like to. He likes other people to pay for him -ALL THE TIME, even when his pockets are full of cash. He works the pity ploy constantly.


Skylar, what a life you must have had. The stuff of nightmares.

My reaction to your poisoning, when I first read about it, was, “Gee, I believe her, and thank goodness this is an extremely rare thing — I mean, people don’t just go around poisoning each other!”

But now, hearing about other people’s poisonings and reading that story Kim linked to… I’m astonished at my own reluctance to believe the lengths to which these sociopaths will go.

For awhile, I’ve said to myself, “my spath ex-husband is more narcissistic than sadistic — but his spathwife is the one who scares me. She is the type who would break into my house to steal my can opener, just to drive me crazy! Or let the air out of my tires…”

Honestly… my mind never went to the thought that, “she might poison me or my children!” but — you know — I think she could/would. Not to be paranoid or anything. I just mean that I really have been pretty naive, wanting to believe the world is a safe place.

When your doctors would rather prescribe you anti-depressants than to do a toxicology screening… yep, you are right; the psychic probably would have nailed it.

I guess I’m having a paranoid day…



I once knew someone like what you describe in your last paragraph. He had an offer from a guy (an offer of a loan) to buy a car for himself. He said to me “What fun is that when you have to pay it back?” So when he was in the hospital sick, some woman I didn’t even know (who was given my phone number by someone who would not even speak to me) called me and asked me for $1000 (not a loan) to buy this guy a car. Well, I remembered he’d had the offer of the loan so I detached at that point.

Of course, guy in question had a prison history of 16 years on and off, with the worst offense being taking a person and holding her hostage. Was he an SPath? Probably. Funny thing is I met him in a 12 step program. So maybe Ox was right in a way (at least to the extent that your chances are higher of meeting an SPath when one has been an addict). But I digress and do not want to get into a discussion of that. It just reaffirms what I already know.

20 years, I think most Drs would not even THINK for one minute that someone was actually being poisoned (after all, that is a pretty sick and out of the ordinary thing to do to put it mildly).

20years and Kathy,
exactly. Most drs. never entertain such a thing. why would they? But now, I see things very differently.

My BF and I have a term, we use to describe someone who dies of natural causes which results in a fortutitous convenience for someone else: Natural Causesed.

Or if it’s an accident, we say: accidenteded.
Then there’s : suicideded.

Nobody except my BF (who knew spath) and Oxy, who investigated the one crash online, believes the truth. Why would they? Of course I haven’t tried very hard, once the FBI told me I sounded crazy, I gave up. I DO sound crazy.


Today I have something to celebrate!!!! I just paid the last needed payment today of the personal loan the spath cost me. 7500 Euros all paid off!

Still have to pay off the credit… but if you reckon that I had a built up debt because of him of 12000 € by December 2010 (less than 1.5 year ago) I am VERY proud of myself.

But this one calls for champagne!

Yay! ((darwinsmom)), celebrate with darwin. Tuna fish and cocktails!


Darwinsmom, what a good feeling that must be!!! 🙂



I am sick to read what happened to you…I am amazed at your strength then and now…

After reading your post, it made me remember how the “P” would frequently state that my husband is probably trying to poison me as he is the one that does all the cooking and food preparation… I couldnt believe he even suggested that..he said it a lot. He also would never eat any of the food that I would bring him as he said it may have been poisoned. I thought who thinks like that? So after reading the comments, I now believe that he is very capable of poisoning his now wife..he controls every breath she takes..she has to ask what and if she can eat….
I feel like I am living in another world…..I have to know this is what they can resort to and will resort to, to maintain control..

Skylar, It is hard to find the right words to express my sorrow for what you endured. Thank you for your post, it just opened my eyes wider.

I wasn’t strong. I was in denial. I should’ve known, instead, I buried my head in the sand. He dropped clues, there were tells.

Several of his friends died in aircraft accidents. After one of them, he said, “people are starting to notice that when someone pisses me off, they end up dead – by some coincidence.”
WTF? who says that?
I just laughed and said, “well good, spath, maybe people will be nicer to you!” I never imagined that it was no coincidence.


Dear Skylar, your condition would have most probably have been detected by a longer hospitalisation. But initially doctors watch out for “horses”, not “zebras” (“if some animal with hoofs passes by under your window, it is most likely a horse and not a zebra”) Zebra means rare diagnosis, horse means a common diagnosis. It is an old saying to teach young doctors to look out for the frequent illness first and not for the “interesting” i.e. rare (as the rare are better memorized while studying medicine). It is common sense to look for and treat for common conditions. But without any improvement, one should have had hospitalized you, and THEN your condition would have improved, and that should have led people to think harder and get the right conclusion (unfortunately not every hospital has a Dr House, a despicable man but with a sharp brain). But as a former boss of me always said: the retrospectoscope is always right!

As deliberate poisoning is mostly done by women, maybe even the “Zebra” would have been under the radar. There is a condition called Münchhausen by proxy,

But again, there are mainly women who do things like that and they “care” superbly for the sick. And your psycho would not be the Superpartner watching over you in the hospital, right? (the trick is that the carer who does make the patient (mostly child or elderly person) sick craves attention from the staff)

Did you get tests for these poisons after he told you?

I am so glad you escaped! And hopefully this guy is not working with commercial airplanes, it would enhance my flight fear even more! 🙁 . Can’t you just inform anonymously the supervising flight state agency? In my country there are strict rules and regulations on these sensible aereas.

When I was in the 3 months of ER-shift during my residency I had called 3 times the legal inspector for “death without clear evidence of natural cause”, a man who dropped dead in front of a restaurant and two others I do not remember. The legal inspector was very happy with me, but my superior had a close talk with me that I should “see the things a bit more relaxed”.



That was a super idea!!! Darwin just can’t stop licking his beard right now!!!! And he has so far only licked the juice of the tuna can!!!

Ox Drover


BOTH doors flew off of the small helicopter just after take off, hitting the rotor and making the plane fall. The plane had been inspected properly 2-3 days before the crash. The chances of BOTH doors flying off because the hinge failed are like winning the lotto, plus he told Sky what happened BEFORE the crash inspection people had checked the crash site.

Sure, Sky sounded crazy. so did I even my own therapist thought I was crazy, telling him “everyone in my family is out to kill me except one” I had to prove I wasn’t imagining such a wild tale. When I hired an attorney to fight Patrick’s parole, even he did not believe my wild tale until I sent him boxes of evidence.

Of course we all sound crazy when we come here…and many of us (my hand going up!) ARE crazy from what we have endured and being devalued by others, told we are stupid or crazy we become that way. anxiety ridden, fearful…

The only “proof” that Sky has is logic and his word against hers…but that won’t hold up in court here. Not even for murder. Look at OJ, he got off for the murder of two people, but he eventually got arrested and convicted and went to prison for a lesser charge.

I had my hair tested for drugs before he told me what he had used on me. I no longer have any faith in the system or desire to spend my time and money on him.

Nobody has helped me, nobody will listen. The story, especially when I tell people that he had my neighbors and the cops in on it, sounds paranoid. Doesn’t it sound paranoid to you? THAT WAS THE INTENT.

I know my exspath very well. He chooses the most outrageous and outlandish behaviors BECAUSE it makes people doubt it. The 180 degree rule. They portray the exact opposite of what they really are, so that you’d NEVER suspect or believe the truth.

All spaths are this way, IMO, but I just happened to get a peak into mine because he perceived that I was so loyal and trusting that I would never believe anything bad about him. That was true. In the end, it was my parents who opened my eyes and only by coincidence.

They could have done it 25 years earlier, but they chose not to. I told them of the bizarre behavior of my spath that spring 2009. I said, “he’s trying to take the business out of my name so he can control the money.”

They said, “oh yeah, we know he’s only with you for your money. Your father overheard him tell a guy, when he didn’t know anyone else was standing there. He was working under your MG and your dad happened to be walking by. ”

To have them hear him bragging about that, and not tell me for 25 years, was a shock in itself. Luckily, though, they did tell me and I concluded that someone who could pretend to love me while torturing me, was surely capable of ANYTHING. My rose colored glasses came off and the puzzle pieces fell into place. I had been storing those pieces in a WTF? bucket for 25 years.


Oxy, thank you for the explanation. It is just horrible! And once you are labelled “crazy” everything becomes VERY difficult! And S/N/P are VERY good in crazymaking and try their very best to have you labelled by some professional as crazy!!!

Re OJ: karma sometimes finds funny ways to work….

But maybe Skylar could hint to the state agency about the MULTITUDE of crashes and the coincidence of the presence of her Ex? To keep a close eye of the future?

I saw in the internet ( ) the most horrible story, that this woman most likely has killed all her 9 children, but got convicted for one only!! The suspicion mounted after a LONG time only! Just my 5 cents

the only death that could raise eyebrows is the one where he ended up owning a helicopter, though he had no income. He got the guy to write out a bill of sale for $15000.00 in AS IS condition. Though the guy had paid over $60000.00 only a year or so earlier. He convinced the guy, A, using the pity ploy, that it would really help him out so he didn’t have to pay state sales/use tax on $60000.00. I don’t think he ever paid it on the $15000.00 either, he kept giving me the bill trying to get me to pay it.

Other people MIGHT testify that he offered to work on their aircraft under the table, but those who actually agreed, would be implicated as well, so that might not work. It was always “a secret”.

He was always careful to ensnare others in his schemes so that he’d have an out or a patsy.


Sky, we posted over each other. Your parents are, I must say I lack the proper word. So cruel, to let run the own daughter in the open knife and do nothing to warn her FOR 25 YEARS!

I looked up “your” poisons: Botox is NOT detectable, Strychnin for 4 days in the urine. He was REALLY a professional!

Re your charming Ex: IRS?? (60’000 vs 15’000!!!) Remember: Al Capone was caught for tax fraud 🙂

When I told the psychiatrist I was seeing in February this year about the mobbing and crazymaking in the hospital he told me frankly that he considered me paranoid and hallucinatory, so I stopped seeing him. Stupid man; at least one good thing: I did not go into psychiatry!


Darwinsmom, congratulations! What a burden off of your shoulders, eh? YAY!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!


Skylar, I’ve been thinking of your experiences for a good part of the day. Makes mine so petty!

And, would you have listened to your father if he had told you what he’d overheard? Certainly not, because the spath had already won your loyalty, and your parents probably knew this. Dammed shame, but here you are where you are valued.
Wow….simply wow


Darwinsmom: That is for you!! Have fun!

Ox Drover

Darwin’s mom,


Your joy is shared by your many friends here at LoveFraud.

When I first came here there was a frequent poster named Aloha Traveler(she still posts here sometimes) she was so deeply i n debt and she finally got it paid off and I remember how we celebrated.

she should be graduating right now this month with her masters and being licensed as a THERAPIST WHO GETS IT! She and you and all the rest of us who have suffered losses both in money and our “blood” have my prayers and my thoughts!

Congratulations, Darwin’s mom! GOOD JOB!!!!

Ox Drover


I am glad that you did not see that stupid man any more. Believe me, I have been called paranoid, but you know…


Have you read “snakes in suits”? by Robert hare. If not, get two copies of it. Read one yourself and the other one mail to that stupid man, maybe he will “get it” what you have been up against. The professional psychopath is I think sometimes worse than the bank robber/murderer because they kill your soul and your career.

Take care of yourself! (((hugs)))

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