Funny, don’t you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I’ve written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I’ve loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here’s what happened”¦
Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son’s life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in the end we had decided that the best and most relaxing option would be to drive down on Thursday evening, stay in a hotel, and get to the university bright and breezy the next morning. He also had a friend who was interviewing in the afternoon, so I agreed to take them both down together and stay in Bordeaux for the day until they’d both finished, then drive them back home. Good plan. Sensible option. Logical planning”¦. Right?
Well, yes, in theory”¦. In practice, though, as Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. And he’s right – because I sure wasn’t expecting what happened next! There we all were, driving happily along the motorway, chatting and singing along to the music, just a few kilometres out of Bordeaux, when all of a sudden the car lost power”¦. Completely. Pushing on the accelerator pedal, there was nothing happening — we just started going slower and slower, as cars whizzed past us, flashing and beeping because we were causing a blockage.
Breakdown
With hazard lights blinking, I managed to pull the car over to the side, and asked Dylan to call my local garage straight away and let them know what had happened. The garage is run by a lovely man who is extremely helpful — and who has had to arrange to pick me up once before when the same car refused to start. This time, though, we were miles away”¦ and I knew that nothing could be done until the next day.
“This is serious, but it’s ok” I said to my two passengers “We’ll stay calm and find a way through” Both of them nodded, totally unfazed by what was going on.
While Dylan was still on the phone, I restarted the car and it seemed to work again. Kicking back in to action, we pulled off the hard shoulder and back in to the stream of traffic. All seemed well, but then it happened again”¦. This time there were even more cars around us — but there was also a slip road coming up. I pulled over again and stopped the engine.
“Right, we’re heading for that turn-off” I said “Can you guys keep your eyes peeled and help guide me?” They nodded, and I prayed that I’d be able to start the car again. Yup”¦ thank goodness, she started straight away, and the three of us willed her to keep going.
We managed to pull off, and, as luck would have it, the road took us straight to a park and ride, where you can leave your car and take the tram in to town. I smiled to myself — and then laughed out loud as I noticed that the name of the road we were parked in was LaVergne”¦ my best friend’s new surname after she got married last month.
Nowhere To Stay
All seemed well, until we called the apartment to let them know we’d be late. It was just gone 8pm, but their reception had closed 5 minutes before we rang. I’d prepaid for the room, but with no way of contacting the owners we knew it made no sense to traipse over to an empty apartment, because we wouldn’t be able to get in. So now we were car-less and hotel-less in a town that none of us knew.
And this, I believe, is a perfect example to show that what we choose to think can make an experience better or worse. I’m not saying that positive thinking will change the situation — but I am saying whole-heartedly that choosing supportive thoughts can affect the way we respond. And, therefore, increase the likelihood of keeping our options open, staying focused and finding a helpful solution.
So, having locked up the car and arranged to meet the tow-truck the next morning, the three of us picked up our overnight bags and headed towards the tram station.
“Well, this isn’t what we planned is it eh?” I said to Dylan and his friend Claire, consciously keeping a smile on my face to reassure them.
“It’s ok, it’s an adventure!” piped up Claire, by this time echoing the words I’d used earlier on. The three of us got on to the tram and headed in to town to find a room for the night.
Now, the point here is this. Imagine how different the mood might have been had any of us decided to panic or become frightened? Instead, we stayed together, kept smiling, and just knew we’d find a solution.
Until we suddenly realised that Dylan had left his bag at the tram station. His bag contained his passport and all the papers he needed for his meeting — without these he would not be allowed to take part and would automatically forfeit his chance to interview. Adrenalin pumping, we all jumped off at the next stop. Taking Dylan’s other bag from him, Claire and I headed back towards the tram station while Dylan sprinted for all he was worth. We still managed to keep a cool head — despite what was going on around us. Not knowing whether or not the bag would still be there, Claire and I started exploring options around what we could do in the worst-case scenario.
Looking On The Bright Side
Luckily his bag was still there — and once again we started counting all the good things about what was happening. The fact that we’d managed to get off the motorway. That we knew a garage who could come and help. That we’d managed to park right near a tram station. That we’d found the bag. That, if push came to shove we could even sleep in the car”¦ we only focused on our ”˜luck’ in what was, quite frankly, a pretty grim situation.
The situation got worse, because every hotel we visited or called was fully booked. It was 11pm before we eventually found a place to stay — the room was costly, but it didn’t matter. At least we’d be able to rest and wash for the morning! None of us had eaten, so we headed straight out to find the only place that might possibly still be open — a MacDonald’s. Tired and hungry, we were delighted to find that the lights were still on — but as we got nearer, realised that they were just shutting up.
Still we didn’t give up. We noticed that this particular restaurant also had a drive in — and realised that it was still open! We didn’t have a car, of course, but decided that was no problem. We’d ask them at the counter, and if that didn’t work then we’d ask one of the driving customers to place an order for us. It worked. They agreed to serve us, and we sat outside greedily devouring our burgers — I usually don’t go anywhere near fast food like that, but let me tell you, right then it tasted like manna from heaven!
Looking at the two young people who were sitting with me, I felt exceptionally proud to be with them both. Despite the difficult situation, and the possible threat to their big day tomorrow, they’d both kept calm, focused and light-hearted throughout the ordeal. We were all tired, but we all still had smiles on our faces and continued to joke about the evening’s shenanigans.
“We’re really lucky you know, mum” said Dylan, stuffing the last few chips into his mouth “things could have been a lot worse if you think about it. Thank goodness we decided to come down today — we’d never have made it if we’d gone with our original plan to leave early tomorrow morning!”
That, for me, sums it all up. It doesn’t matter what happens to us — there will always be things that are out of our control, some good and some bad”¦. Some very bad in actual fact. But no matter what happens, we always, always have a choice about the way we choose to think about it and the way in which we respond. So in that way, we are always free. Forever.
By the way, both of them had brilliant interviews and caught the train back together, while I got home in the tow-truck. All’s well that ends well, eh? And, in my experience, it always does end well in some way, shape or form.
Thanks Mel – you are so right. Even when bad things happen, our attitudes make all the difference.
Mel,
we are on the same wavelength, I’ve been thinking about a box of chocolates too!
I interpret Forrest Gump’s attitude about life being “like a box of chocolates” to the idea of not being attached to any particular outcome and instead accepting and experiencing each chocolate for its own merits.
The reason I was thinking about this is because spaths set us up with expectations. They are con artists and that’s what con artists do. Then they swap the chocolate with poison and we eat “bitter fruit”.
This is what my spath tried to do to me. He was literally poisoning me for decades. I’m sure he was laughing as I tried my damnedest to eat organic, wheat-free, sugar-free, healthy food and not realizing it had strychnine in it. The constant pain in my muscles drove me to eliminate more and more foods from my diet. I went a whole year once eating almost nothing but yogurt and rice cakes.
Then, near the end, he called me from the millionaire friend’s house where he was staying. He said, “I think they’re trying to poison me. I have a bottle of pepto bismal and I think they’ve put something in it.”
I asked him why he thought that and he said, “I don’t know, I just have a feeling about it. So I bought another bottle of pepto and I have it hidden. What do you think I should do? What would you do?”
“Well, spath, I think that’s a good plan if you really think that they are poisoning you. Myself, I would just take the poison pepto.” I replied.
“You would?” spath asked. “why?”
“Yeah, spath, I would. I just would.”
Honestly, I don’t know why I said that. At the time, I didn’t know what he was or that he was poisoning me. But I think it was more of a philosophical retort. I am kind of like Forrest Gump in that I never had much attachment to any outcomes. What I have is more like curiosity. This is what drove the spath crazy. He couldn’t disappoint me as much as he wanted to. If I would even accept poison, how utterly powerless did that make him?
Wonderful story, Mel. Attitude is everything.
Wow, skylar!! Just wow. I am so sorry you went thru all that, (((skylar))). The evil some do just boggles my mind. You are amazingly strong & resilient. Wishing you health & blessings.
Dear Mel, thank you for your uplifting story. It is not only attitude, you were also preparing for “bad weather” by driving the day before honoring the importance of the situation. So you had spare time and could (without any panic) live by the moment and make the best out of it. Congratulation! Had you been “just in time”, just “hoping for the best” without “preparing for the worst”, things would have been MUCH different.
Oh, jeez. I just realized why he told me there was poison in his pepto. duh. He asked what I would do if I suspected that I was being poisoned. Oh my.
At that point, about Jan 2009, he was planning on leaving for 2 months in June to work across the state. When I left him in May, he emptied the refrigerator. That’s because there was poison in all the food. Before, when he had poisoned me, he only put small amounts in to make me miserable but not too sick usually. That summer, he was planning to kill me, so he must have ramped up the amount of poison and put it in all the food to make me really sick. He wanted to know what I would do because he needed to anticipate if I would take the food in to be tested at a lab.
My response to him, confirmed that he was safe to poison me because I would just accept it.
Well, that proves it, you can give a spath a rope and he will hang himself.
Thanks for the hugs ((Clair)), you may have triggered this revelation.
Dear Sky, what a horrible horrible situation! Hopefully this Spath got his karma working! ((((Skylar))))
I wish you all the best! Did you have him arrested for attempted murder? Have a good safe night!
Mel, thanks for such an uplifting story – reading positive messages is very helpful to me.
Skylar…..dear heart. Protective blessings to you – thank GOODNESS you’re okay and free.
Libelle,
no he’s still out there doing evil. He always gets away with murder and attempted murder. When I went to the Sheriff to tell him how dangerous he was, the Sheriff said, “well if he’s so dangerous, why don’t you move?”
WTF?
In fact the local cops were on his side. He had been grooming them for 2 decades and I had been completely unaware. He told me he hated cops but later, his friends told me that he was hanging out with them at the “cop-shop”.
There had been clues all along, but I just couldn’t believe them because I couldn’t believe one crucial thing: He didn’t love me because he’s a spath.
Not knowing what a spath is, is a HUGE liability in life. We need to educate everyone.
Thank you, ((Truthspeak))
Mel, great article. I think part of the reason the problems we encounter (like the car) aren’t as devastating as the BETRAYALS from the psychopaths is that we realize that the car isn’t TRYING to hurt us, the bag isn’t out to get us…etc.it just HAPPENS. Shiat happens. It is when something is trying to hurt us, or enjoying hurting us that we have emotional problems with it. Big difference between betrayal and stuff happening.
LIFE happens when we have made other plans…but when someone or something sets out to hurt us—whether it is a human, a dog, a wolf or a vampire, it is a different kettle of fish!
Glad your kids did well and had great interviews and that your vehicle got towed.
One of my vehicles did the same thing on the way to my son’s birthday party a hour away from home. It is now in the hospital getting a new motor transplant.
Boy, that box of chocolates looks good and makes me want to go out and buy one to have on display!
I must confess I think a very SPath thing was done to me by my family of origin, and I’d like some input please.
I’m fearing that my father’s death is going to replay itself with my mother. I’m not being told any details of her true condition, despite my very specific questions that go unanswered. I have been shut out before and I’m afraid it’s going to happen again.
So here’s what I question. Is it SPath like to not tell someone (me) that my father was getting last rites on his birthday? I only found out after the fact. Is this something that is planned in advance or does it just happen very quickly? I live out of state, but they effectively removed me from everything. I know this may sound odd, but couldn’t they at least have phoned me and put me on speaker? I don’t know, I’m just really bothered now as no one will give me the straight scoop on my mother and I’m feeling shut out again.
This is a negative version of a box of chocolates, I guess. Sorry, it’s just keeping me awake.