Funny, don’t you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I’ve written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I’ve loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here’s what happened”¦
Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son’s life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in the end we had decided that the best and most relaxing option would be to drive down on Thursday evening, stay in a hotel, and get to the university bright and breezy the next morning. He also had a friend who was interviewing in the afternoon, so I agreed to take them both down together and stay in Bordeaux for the day until they’d both finished, then drive them back home. Good plan. Sensible option. Logical planning”¦. Right?
Well, yes, in theory”¦. In practice, though, as Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. And he’s right – because I sure wasn’t expecting what happened next! There we all were, driving happily along the motorway, chatting and singing along to the music, just a few kilometres out of Bordeaux, when all of a sudden the car lost power”¦. Completely. Pushing on the accelerator pedal, there was nothing happening — we just started going slower and slower, as cars whizzed past us, flashing and beeping because we were causing a blockage.
Breakdown
With hazard lights blinking, I managed to pull the car over to the side, and asked Dylan to call my local garage straight away and let them know what had happened. The garage is run by a lovely man who is extremely helpful — and who has had to arrange to pick me up once before when the same car refused to start. This time, though, we were miles away”¦ and I knew that nothing could be done until the next day.
“This is serious, but it’s ok” I said to my two passengers “We’ll stay calm and find a way through” Both of them nodded, totally unfazed by what was going on.
While Dylan was still on the phone, I restarted the car and it seemed to work again. Kicking back in to action, we pulled off the hard shoulder and back in to the stream of traffic. All seemed well, but then it happened again”¦. This time there were even more cars around us — but there was also a slip road coming up. I pulled over again and stopped the engine.
“Right, we’re heading for that turn-off” I said “Can you guys keep your eyes peeled and help guide me?” They nodded, and I prayed that I’d be able to start the car again. Yup”¦ thank goodness, she started straight away, and the three of us willed her to keep going.
We managed to pull off, and, as luck would have it, the road took us straight to a park and ride, where you can leave your car and take the tram in to town. I smiled to myself — and then laughed out loud as I noticed that the name of the road we were parked in was LaVergne”¦ my best friend’s new surname after she got married last month.
Nowhere To Stay
All seemed well, until we called the apartment to let them know we’d be late. It was just gone 8pm, but their reception had closed 5 minutes before we rang. I’d prepaid for the room, but with no way of contacting the owners we knew it made no sense to traipse over to an empty apartment, because we wouldn’t be able to get in. So now we were car-less and hotel-less in a town that none of us knew.
And this, I believe, is a perfect example to show that what we choose to think can make an experience better or worse. I’m not saying that positive thinking will change the situation — but I am saying whole-heartedly that choosing supportive thoughts can affect the way we respond. And, therefore, increase the likelihood of keeping our options open, staying focused and finding a helpful solution.
So, having locked up the car and arranged to meet the tow-truck the next morning, the three of us picked up our overnight bags and headed towards the tram station.
“Well, this isn’t what we planned is it eh?” I said to Dylan and his friend Claire, consciously keeping a smile on my face to reassure them.
“It’s ok, it’s an adventure!” piped up Claire, by this time echoing the words I’d used earlier on. The three of us got on to the tram and headed in to town to find a room for the night.
Now, the point here is this. Imagine how different the mood might have been had any of us decided to panic or become frightened? Instead, we stayed together, kept smiling, and just knew we’d find a solution.
Until we suddenly realised that Dylan had left his bag at the tram station. His bag contained his passport and all the papers he needed for his meeting — without these he would not be allowed to take part and would automatically forfeit his chance to interview. Adrenalin pumping, we all jumped off at the next stop. Taking Dylan’s other bag from him, Claire and I headed back towards the tram station while Dylan sprinted for all he was worth. We still managed to keep a cool head — despite what was going on around us. Not knowing whether or not the bag would still be there, Claire and I started exploring options around what we could do in the worst-case scenario.
Looking On The Bright Side
Luckily his bag was still there — and once again we started counting all the good things about what was happening. The fact that we’d managed to get off the motorway. That we knew a garage who could come and help. That we’d managed to park right near a tram station. That we’d found the bag. That, if push came to shove we could even sleep in the car”¦ we only focused on our ”˜luck’ in what was, quite frankly, a pretty grim situation.
The situation got worse, because every hotel we visited or called was fully booked. It was 11pm before we eventually found a place to stay — the room was costly, but it didn’t matter. At least we’d be able to rest and wash for the morning! None of us had eaten, so we headed straight out to find the only place that might possibly still be open — a MacDonald’s. Tired and hungry, we were delighted to find that the lights were still on — but as we got nearer, realised that they were just shutting up.
Still we didn’t give up. We noticed that this particular restaurant also had a drive in — and realised that it was still open! We didn’t have a car, of course, but decided that was no problem. We’d ask them at the counter, and if that didn’t work then we’d ask one of the driving customers to place an order for us. It worked. They agreed to serve us, and we sat outside greedily devouring our burgers — I usually don’t go anywhere near fast food like that, but let me tell you, right then it tasted like manna from heaven!
Looking at the two young people who were sitting with me, I felt exceptionally proud to be with them both. Despite the difficult situation, and the possible threat to their big day tomorrow, they’d both kept calm, focused and light-hearted throughout the ordeal. We were all tired, but we all still had smiles on our faces and continued to joke about the evening’s shenanigans.
“We’re really lucky you know, mum” said Dylan, stuffing the last few chips into his mouth “things could have been a lot worse if you think about it. Thank goodness we decided to come down today — we’d never have made it if we’d gone with our original plan to leave early tomorrow morning!”
That, for me, sums it all up. It doesn’t matter what happens to us — there will always be things that are out of our control, some good and some bad”¦. Some very bad in actual fact. But no matter what happens, we always, always have a choice about the way we choose to think about it and the way in which we respond. So in that way, we are always free. Forever.
By the way, both of them had brilliant interviews and caught the train back together, while I got home in the tow-truck. All’s well that ends well, eh? And, in my experience, it always does end well in some way, shape or form.
Dear Sky, VERY disturbing!! No wonder there is so much distrust in the world. Fortunately there are lots of articles on everyday psychopaths (in the financial sector mainly) in the news. But your venomous snake and the cop’s snakepit are a complete other league (if you would suggest such a plot to a Hollywood mogul it would be dismissed as completely exaggerated, I am sure!)
To be on the right side of justice and getting justice are two pairs of shoes, as my father the lawyer always told us.
Why is moving not an option? I know it is very difficult, but I am also considering it right now, and just the thinking about the possibilities is very lifting my spirits, that there is an exit from all of it towards quieter aereas. (or do you think better the devil you know?). (((Hugs))), and have a great day!
So, Skylar, how did you actually discover the truth about the poisoning? Did you end up taking food to the lab? Did he come out and tell you everything? How long did it take for you to recover, once you switched to non-poisoned food? Did you use the legal system against him for this crime?
That is one of those incredible, hard to believe kinds of abuse. I don’t mean that I don’t believe you… but I’m wondering if you ran into people who didn’t believe you.
I’m also starting to wonder how common this poisoning thing is. First your story, then the other one… I swear, it just never occurred to me that people would be so evil. This is like stealth murder, very covert, incredibly evil.
Thank God you caught on before it killed you.
Kathy0707, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, drops feathers like a duck, and eats duck-food, chances are that it’s probably a duck. What does your “gut” instinct tell you? Did this follow a pattern of behaviors, or could it simply have been an oversight in the pandemonium of someone’s passing? Only you know the answers to this.
Skylar, I’m so grateful that you are out of that situation. I often wonder if the expsath would have resorted to seeing that I met an unexpected demise – still do. That you were dismissed by Law Enforcement is no surprise, but it’s still a supreme slap in the face, isn’t it? To “serve and protect” is the silliest motto, EVER. And, the setup of presenting an attitude of disdain against local cops while he was actually infiltrating their culture is TYPICAL spath! Exspath always went on and on and on about how much he despised the people that he worked with and philanderers. Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle, “black?”
20years, it is very, very, very easy to poison someone over a period of time. There are common household chemicals that will cause symptoms that mimic many illnesses and chronic conditions. Add in the crazymaking and anything’s possible. In my case, I’m taking chemotherapy and the exspath was already beginning to set me up to appear unstable – he even used this word a month before I made my discovery. He could easily have dumped the entire lot of chemo in a drink, disappeared long enough for me to have died, and claimed that I had been in such a painful state and exhibiting “unstable” behaviors that I probably decided to just end my pain, myself.
Is murder likely? In most cases, no, unless money is involved. Is murder possible? Oh, yes indeedy, it is! Ask OxyD about it…..it’ll raise the hairs on your neck.
This blog actually is very triggering for me. First I am a non-anonymous chocolate addict. Therefore the addiction theme is not foreign to me, and the shame-addiction was a HUGE A-HA-moment for me!
Poisoning with food is also a BIG trigger for me. My parents were brought up during WWII, and they have a HUGE attic with lots of canned food. When I was this winter at the parent’s house helping them to clear it, as I wanted to do something useful with my unemployment time, I discovered cans from the last millennium they were still cooking with and serving to eat. No wonder we always had upset stomaches after having been invited. It was a big fight with my father, but at last I got rid of all the unhealthy stuff. It was no malicious intent involved, so I hope, because he ate it himself too.
Truthspeak, be VERY careful with your chemo!!!!! Lock them away. Do a count of the tablets and have them recorded regularly and keep the record seperately. So you have control about the number of tablets.Do NOT show him!!! ((((Hugs))))
libelle,
I haven’t lived there for 3 years. I live with my BF and before that with my parents. The house is sitting empty and rotting because I know that his minions will inform him of whatever I do. They will sabotage any attempt to sell it or rent it. He put his minions in as my neighbors.
20 years,
I was sick for the last 23 years I was with him but managed it with supplements that gave me diarhea. Never could figure out why that helped!
Then when I left him, he called me, “skylar come home, I cleaned the house for you.” I waited til he was gone and went to check. The house was a disaster, but the REFRIGERATOR WAS EMPTY! wtf?
I thought maybe he was trying to eliminate his finger prints. I’m sort of slow. Poison never occurred to me at this point, even though he had often said, “You’d be so EASY to poison because you take so many vitamins.” wtf?
Spaths will “tell” the truth with a twist to make it a lie. He didn’t poison my vitamins, he poisoned the food.
As the week progressed, I noticed that all the pain I had had for 20 years was going away and I didn’t need to manage it with diarhea. It very slowly dawned on me. The food had poison. But I still didn’t know what he poisoned me with.
So a couple of months later, I point blank asked him. And he told me, “a little bit of strychnine, a little bit of botulism toxin and other things. I like to mix it up.”
fucker.
I didn’t really believe he’d tell me the truth. Which is what he counted on, that’s why he told the truth.
I checked the symptoms and they matched.
It blows me away that I still feel sorry for him. How weird is that?
Oh BTW,
Initially it was not about killing me. It was about keeping me sick so I couldn’t work or go to school.
In the end, he convinced me to write a will. Of course he gets everything. That’s when he started to plot my demise.
And yes, truthspeak, the very first thing he did was tell everyone that I was a depressed, drug addict, alcoholic, including my pharmacist. Then my lunesta started to disappear, one or two per month. It was hard to keep track because I was cutting them in half to take only partial doses. I thought I had miscounted.
Frankly, I believe that they ALL poison us. Some do it more often than others, but I just don’t see any of them NOT doing something that is so easy to get away with and so evil.
I met a couple that lived about a mile away. I told them my story. They said that their neighbor’s wife had been poisoning his coffee for years with rat poison, until a doctor got suspicious and they set up video cameras to catch her in the act. What are the odds of two poisoning spaths within 1 mile?
When you’re sick, you can never discount the possibility of poison. Either intentional or unintentional.
Libelle, thank goodness we are separated and have not had contact in months and months. But, the thought was always in the back of my mind after I discovered what he was and, especially, after how/why my finances vanished.
Skylar, jayzus criminy…..it just turns my blood to water to read of your experiences. I am SOOOOO grateful that you made it out and are relatively safe.
HUGS, hugs, and hugs….
You too Truthspeak. Be very careful with you meds. It follows the 180 rule, that they would poison the things you expect to make you well. It make it more ironic when your meds kill you.
In my case, he knew how fanatical I was about eating healthy, so I’m sure he found it quite comical that I was paying top dollar for organic, gluten free, poison.
Skylar, this whole discussion makes me really, REALLY wonder about a number of things. At the moment, I’m not going to entertain my darkest fears, but several things point to the possibility that I could have been experiencing the same things….Regardless of what really happened during those years, I have come to accept that they were an elaborate illusion that fell apart and he never, in his wildest dreams, expected me to have the backbone to end the marriage. After all, I was sick with a chronic, lifelong disease, needed medical care, and I didn’t have any means of supporting myself, right? What, on earth, would allow me to believe that I could exist without HIM?!
I’m going to sing this song from the musical, “Oklahoma:”
Oh, what a beautiful morning!
Oh, what a beautiful day!
I’ve got a wonderful feeling
Everything’s goin’ my way!
TO BE FREE – YIPPEE!!!!
This talk about poisoning is SO disturbing. Important, though.
Skylar, did you go to a doctor for your symptoms, or try to treat yourself?
I guess what I’m getting at is — how many people do you suppose there are, who are in abusive spath relationships, who are literally being poisoned, go to their doctors with mysterious complaints, and the doctors never assume, “could it be that a family member is poisoning this person” and ask some questions, try to figure it out?
I mean — do you think that in medical school it might be taught, “as farfetched as it sounds, always consider poisoning — even deliberate slow poisoning — as a possible cause of mysterious, seemingly unresolvable symptoms.”
I would hope this would occur to doctors — but I have a feeling that most doctors would not suspect.
Can these poisons be detected in urine or blood — that could be an easy diagnosis?
I know there are naturally occurring toxins and poisons, we can inadvertently poison ourselves if we are not careful with our food prep and storage — but the kind of stuff you describe, Skylar…. seems to me that a doctor SHOULD consider poisoning and try to figure it out.
???