Funny, don’t you think, how every now and again life seems to work in perfect synchronicity? For the past couple of weeks I’ve written about my experiences of thoughts creating reality — and I’ve loved reading all your follow-up comments, thank you. It seems this has been/remains a weighty subject for many of us here! I had been wondering how to continue the exploration — and as if by magic, the solution appeared all by itself. Here’s what happened”¦
Last Friday was probably the most important day in my son’s life so far. It was the day he was due to interview for a place at his chosen university in Bordeaux, about two hours drive from where we live. His meeting was booked for 8am, so in the end we had decided that the best and most relaxing option would be to drive down on Thursday evening, stay in a hotel, and get to the university bright and breezy the next morning. He also had a friend who was interviewing in the afternoon, so I agreed to take them both down together and stay in Bordeaux for the day until they’d both finished, then drive them back home. Good plan. Sensible option. Logical planning”¦. Right?
Well, yes, in theory”¦. In practice, though, as Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. And he’s right – because I sure wasn’t expecting what happened next! There we all were, driving happily along the motorway, chatting and singing along to the music, just a few kilometres out of Bordeaux, when all of a sudden the car lost power”¦. Completely. Pushing on the accelerator pedal, there was nothing happening — we just started going slower and slower, as cars whizzed past us, flashing and beeping because we were causing a blockage.
Breakdown
With hazard lights blinking, I managed to pull the car over to the side, and asked Dylan to call my local garage straight away and let them know what had happened. The garage is run by a lovely man who is extremely helpful — and who has had to arrange to pick me up once before when the same car refused to start. This time, though, we were miles away”¦ and I knew that nothing could be done until the next day.
“This is serious, but it’s ok” I said to my two passengers “We’ll stay calm and find a way through” Both of them nodded, totally unfazed by what was going on.
While Dylan was still on the phone, I restarted the car and it seemed to work again. Kicking back in to action, we pulled off the hard shoulder and back in to the stream of traffic. All seemed well, but then it happened again”¦. This time there were even more cars around us — but there was also a slip road coming up. I pulled over again and stopped the engine.
“Right, we’re heading for that turn-off” I said “Can you guys keep your eyes peeled and help guide me?” They nodded, and I prayed that I’d be able to start the car again. Yup”¦ thank goodness, she started straight away, and the three of us willed her to keep going.
We managed to pull off, and, as luck would have it, the road took us straight to a park and ride, where you can leave your car and take the tram in to town. I smiled to myself — and then laughed out loud as I noticed that the name of the road we were parked in was LaVergne”¦ my best friend’s new surname after she got married last month.
Nowhere To Stay
All seemed well, until we called the apartment to let them know we’d be late. It was just gone 8pm, but their reception had closed 5 minutes before we rang. I’d prepaid for the room, but with no way of contacting the owners we knew it made no sense to traipse over to an empty apartment, because we wouldn’t be able to get in. So now we were car-less and hotel-less in a town that none of us knew.
And this, I believe, is a perfect example to show that what we choose to think can make an experience better or worse. I’m not saying that positive thinking will change the situation — but I am saying whole-heartedly that choosing supportive thoughts can affect the way we respond. And, therefore, increase the likelihood of keeping our options open, staying focused and finding a helpful solution.
So, having locked up the car and arranged to meet the tow-truck the next morning, the three of us picked up our overnight bags and headed towards the tram station.
“Well, this isn’t what we planned is it eh?” I said to Dylan and his friend Claire, consciously keeping a smile on my face to reassure them.
“It’s ok, it’s an adventure!” piped up Claire, by this time echoing the words I’d used earlier on. The three of us got on to the tram and headed in to town to find a room for the night.
Now, the point here is this. Imagine how different the mood might have been had any of us decided to panic or become frightened? Instead, we stayed together, kept smiling, and just knew we’d find a solution.
Until we suddenly realised that Dylan had left his bag at the tram station. His bag contained his passport and all the papers he needed for his meeting — without these he would not be allowed to take part and would automatically forfeit his chance to interview. Adrenalin pumping, we all jumped off at the next stop. Taking Dylan’s other bag from him, Claire and I headed back towards the tram station while Dylan sprinted for all he was worth. We still managed to keep a cool head — despite what was going on around us. Not knowing whether or not the bag would still be there, Claire and I started exploring options around what we could do in the worst-case scenario.
Looking On The Bright Side
Luckily his bag was still there — and once again we started counting all the good things about what was happening. The fact that we’d managed to get off the motorway. That we knew a garage who could come and help. That we’d managed to park right near a tram station. That we’d found the bag. That, if push came to shove we could even sleep in the car”¦ we only focused on our ”˜luck’ in what was, quite frankly, a pretty grim situation.
The situation got worse, because every hotel we visited or called was fully booked. It was 11pm before we eventually found a place to stay — the room was costly, but it didn’t matter. At least we’d be able to rest and wash for the morning! None of us had eaten, so we headed straight out to find the only place that might possibly still be open — a MacDonald’s. Tired and hungry, we were delighted to find that the lights were still on — but as we got nearer, realised that they were just shutting up.
Still we didn’t give up. We noticed that this particular restaurant also had a drive in — and realised that it was still open! We didn’t have a car, of course, but decided that was no problem. We’d ask them at the counter, and if that didn’t work then we’d ask one of the driving customers to place an order for us. It worked. They agreed to serve us, and we sat outside greedily devouring our burgers — I usually don’t go anywhere near fast food like that, but let me tell you, right then it tasted like manna from heaven!
Looking at the two young people who were sitting with me, I felt exceptionally proud to be with them both. Despite the difficult situation, and the possible threat to their big day tomorrow, they’d both kept calm, focused and light-hearted throughout the ordeal. We were all tired, but we all still had smiles on our faces and continued to joke about the evening’s shenanigans.
“We’re really lucky you know, mum” said Dylan, stuffing the last few chips into his mouth “things could have been a lot worse if you think about it. Thank goodness we decided to come down today — we’d never have made it if we’d gone with our original plan to leave early tomorrow morning!”
That, for me, sums it all up. It doesn’t matter what happens to us — there will always be things that are out of our control, some good and some bad”¦. Some very bad in actual fact. But no matter what happens, we always, always have a choice about the way we choose to think about it and the way in which we respond. So in that way, we are always free. Forever.
By the way, both of them had brilliant interviews and caught the train back together, while I got home in the tow-truck. All’s well that ends well, eh? And, in my experience, it always does end well in some way, shape or form.
Libelle,
BOTH doors flew off of the small helicopter just after take off, hitting the rotor and making the plane fall. The plane had been inspected properly 2-3 days before the crash. The chances of BOTH doors flying off because the hinge failed are like winning the lotto, plus he told Sky what happened BEFORE the crash inspection people had checked the crash site.
Sure, Sky sounded crazy. so did I even my own therapist thought I was crazy, telling him “everyone in my family is out to kill me except one” I had to prove I wasn’t imagining such a wild tale. When I hired an attorney to fight Patrick’s parole, even he did not believe my wild tale until I sent him boxes of evidence.
Of course we all sound crazy when we come here…and many of us (my hand going up!) ARE crazy from what we have endured and being devalued by others, told we are stupid or crazy we become that way. anxiety ridden, fearful…
The only “proof” that Sky has is logic and his word against hers…but that won’t hold up in court here. Not even for murder. Look at OJ, he got off for the murder of two people, but he eventually got arrested and convicted and went to prison for a lesser charge.
Libelle,
I had my hair tested for drugs before he told me what he had used on me. I no longer have any faith in the system or desire to spend my time and money on him.
Nobody has helped me, nobody will listen. The story, especially when I tell people that he had my neighbors and the cops in on it, sounds paranoid. Doesn’t it sound paranoid to you? THAT WAS THE INTENT.
I know my exspath very well. He chooses the most outrageous and outlandish behaviors BECAUSE it makes people doubt it. The 180 degree rule. They portray the exact opposite of what they really are, so that you’d NEVER suspect or believe the truth.
All spaths are this way, IMO, but I just happened to get a peak into mine because he perceived that I was so loyal and trusting that I would never believe anything bad about him. That was true. In the end, it was my parents who opened my eyes and only by coincidence.
They could have done it 25 years earlier, but they chose not to. I told them of the bizarre behavior of my spath that spring 2009. I said, “he’s trying to take the business out of my name so he can control the money.”
They said, “oh yeah, we know he’s only with you for your money. Your father overheard him tell a guy, when he didn’t know anyone else was standing there. He was working under your MG and your dad happened to be walking by. ”
To have them hear him bragging about that, and not tell me for 25 years, was a shock in itself. Luckily, though, they did tell me and I concluded that someone who could pretend to love me while torturing me, was surely capable of ANYTHING. My rose colored glasses came off and the puzzle pieces fell into place. I had been storing those pieces in a WTF? bucket for 25 years.
Oxy, thank you for the explanation. It is just horrible! And once you are labelled “crazy” everything becomes VERY difficult! And S/N/P are VERY good in crazymaking and try their very best to have you labelled by some professional as crazy!!!
Re OJ: karma sometimes finds funny ways to work….
But maybe Skylar could hint to the state agency about the MULTITUDE of crashes and the coincidence of the presence of her Ex? To keep a close eye of the future?
I saw in the internet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marybeth_Tinning ) the most horrible story, that this woman most likely has killed all her 9 children, but got convicted for one only!! The suspicion mounted after a LONG time only! Just my 5 cents
Libelle,
the only death that could raise eyebrows is the one where he ended up owning a helicopter, though he had no income. He got the guy to write out a bill of sale for $15000.00 in AS IS condition. Though the guy had paid over $60000.00 only a year or so earlier. He convinced the guy, A, using the pity ploy, that it would really help him out so he didn’t have to pay state sales/use tax on $60000.00. I don’t think he ever paid it on the $15000.00 either, he kept giving me the bill trying to get me to pay it.
Other people MIGHT testify that he offered to work on their aircraft under the table, but those who actually agreed, would be implicated as well, so that might not work. It was always “a secret”.
He was always careful to ensnare others in his schemes so that he’d have an out or a patsy.
Sky, we posted over each other. Your parents are, I must say I lack the proper word. So cruel, to let run the own daughter in the open knife and do nothing to warn her FOR 25 YEARS!
I looked up “your” poisons: Botox is NOT detectable, Strychnin for 4 days in the urine. He was REALLY a professional!
Re your charming Ex: IRS?? (60’000 vs 15’000!!!) Remember: Al Capone was caught for tax fraud 🙂
When I told the psychiatrist I was seeing in February this year about the mobbing and crazymaking in the hospital he told me frankly that he considered me paranoid and hallucinatory, so I stopped seeing him. Stupid man; at least one good thing: I did not go into psychiatry!
Darwinsmom, congratulations! What a burden off of your shoulders, eh? YAY!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!
Skylar, I’ve been thinking of your experiences for a good part of the day. Makes mine so petty!
And, would you have listened to your father if he had told you what he’d overheard? Certainly not, because the spath had already won your loyalty, and your parents probably knew this. Dammed shame, but here you are where you are valued.
Wow….simply wow
Darwinsmom: That is for you!! Have fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us3dQ0nnlHY
Darwin’s mom,
A JOY SHARED IS DOUBLED
A SORROW SHARED IS HALVED!
Your joy is shared by your many friends here at LoveFraud.
When I first came here there was a frequent poster named Aloha Traveler(she still posts here sometimes) she was so deeply i n debt and she finally got it paid off and I remember how we celebrated.
she should be graduating right now this month with her masters and being licensed as a THERAPIST WHO GETS IT! She and you and all the rest of us who have suffered losses both in money and our “blood” have my prayers and my thoughts!
Congratulations, Darwin’s mom! GOOD JOB!!!!
Libelle,
I am glad that you did not see that stupid man any more. Believe me, I have been called paranoid, but you know…
“JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PARANOID DOES NOT MEAN SOMEONE IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU”
Have you read “snakes in suits”? by Robert hare. If not, get two copies of it. Read one yourself and the other one mail to that stupid man, maybe he will “get it” what you have been up against. The professional psychopath is I think sometimes worse than the bank robber/murderer because they kill your soul and your career.
Take care of yourself! (((hugs)))