Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey
lesson learned
Donna,
What a fantastic idea! Any ideas as to when the book may be published?
LL
Donna Andersen
Lesson Learned – as soon as I can get it written.
candy
Hi Donna – thanks. I have just completed the survey. What a lot can happen in a year and it can change our lives forever. Putting it down on ‘paper’ makes me realise what a stupid, stupid individual I have been. Had it not been for my family and the strength they gave me I would probably still be with him.
Donna Andersen
Candy,
Don’t be hard on yourself. We get into these situations because we saw the behaviors but didn’t know what they meant. That’s why I want to get the word out – If you see this, it could mean you are with a sociopath.
lesson learned
Candy,
I did the survey too. It was interesting and had a powerful impact on me too. Blogging here is so much different than answering questions to a survey about your experience. For me, it was validating.
You are FAR from stupid, Candy, although I know that we have all experienced that feeling along the way. Your posts have been so helpful to me personally. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. 🙂
LL
lesson learned
Donna
LOL, I realize that, just curious as to when you put it together if you have a target date. 🙂
LL
lesson learned
The survey was so interesting in how some of the questions were worded, but one in particular that I would like some feedback on.
It was about when a person starts to see the bad behaviors out of the spath start. Then there were months in numbers to choose from
On this site, it has been a bit odd to me to see that usually the bad behaviors, if not odd behaviors start typically around the third month.
In my own experience, this was true. The first REALLY Bad display. There were others that I blew off but this was so huge that I could not ignore it.
What were your experiences with this? Was it typical they would display in your relationshit about month three? That is just ODD to me.
LL
Lykastia
I just finished the survey. It was hard for me to answer most of the questions because I never even actually met the individual face to face. All I know about him comes from another person, it’s all hearsay. And I believe the other person was his partner so who knows if what he (his partner) told me was accurate? For example, the first question was hard for me to answer since we weren’t really “dating”, we were just using Messenger to “talk”.
I haven’t been here in a while but I do read a lot of the articles and posts here. Thank goodness for LF.
Ox Drover
Getting information to a prospective audience of people BEFORE they are hooked by a psychopath is a great idea, Donna. Helping someone AFTER the damage is good, but PREVENTION IS EVEN BETTER.
Good luck! Hope the survey helps.
candy
Donna LL thanks. I’m just glad I’m out. If we can be honest and brave in the survey, help others, they can learn from our mistakes, then something positive will come out of it.