Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Oh good! Can I ask you one question that is driving me nuts? What is the difference between “por” and “para”? When do you say “por mi” and “para mi”?
And what country are you from, if you don’t mind my asking?
Sorry for the hijack.
Star,
they are both “for” but used in different connotations I think.
Por is like
“do this por me”
and
Para is like
“that is para me”
Is that right Eva?
Thanks, I saved that lesson to my internet favorites. It seems very complicated. But yes, it helps. In French, there is only one word: pour
True Eva,
Para can also be “in order to”.
Like this tool is para fixing that.
That’s a really complicated question Star, I hadn’t ever thought about it. My Spanish is poor and my French is worse.
Yes, the por/para thing is very complicated (reading the link you posted, Eva). In English, “He bought the book for me” can have two different meanings. It could mean that he bought the book to give to me OR he bought the book because I couldn’t do it myself. In Spanish, “por” and “para” capture those two meanings.
I think learning Spanish will be a long, long haul. Ugh! I visited Spain many years ago. I spent time in Madrid and in Seville. Beautiful country.
Yay – free Spanish lesson! And thanks for putting in the part about sociopaths being loco, just so we don’t stray too far from the topic. 🙂
I think it’s a great idea about reading in Spanish. I will ask my teacher about some easy novels to read in Spanish and just immerse myself in it for a while. I am going back to Costa Rica in May, and I would like to be able to have simple conversations when I go there.
HENRY!!! BOINK!!! BOINK!!!! Sugar I never said you are a psychopath, not even a mild one! You are hallucinating if you think that!
You are so FAR FROM a psychopath it is unbelievable you should even ask such a question! DAMN, man!!!! I really didn’t think you could pith me off but you are working really hard on doing so!
I dont’ blame you for not hanging around a bunch of gay pick up sites….you may be gay but you aren’t perverted….and unfortunately, most of the “available” gay guys at those places are NOT ones you’d want to take home, they are “hook ups” not relationships. But it is the same with guys that are straight, most of what is available isn’t someone I’d want to take home or keep. So I sit in my little hole in the woods, too….and that’s okay.
As for your “friend” —she ain’t no friend! You’re better off with out her.
Now you go write out 500 times and turn it in before the end of the day. ‘HENRY AIN’T NO PSYCHOPATH” (((hugs))))
Hens,
you are NOT a spath.
We are all a bit different on this site. Maybe a bit geeky or weird as Katy said.
You have attested to the fact that male gay culture is very sexually oriented so that’s going to be an issue. But you need to find a gay man who has interests outside of being gay – you know? Kind of like if I go to a bar, I’m going to find men who are there looking for sex. Same with you. So don’t go to bars, find other interests to involve yourself in. As Joseph Campbell would say, “follow your bliss”.
As far as suspecting yourself as a spath, well that’s taking it even farther than I do. I suspect everyone is a spath – except me! You would be shocked if you knew which posters on this blog I’m beginning to suspect are spaths! And no, it’s NOT Oxy, she’s a Cowpath! 🙂
It’s just that I’m always looking for red flags and EVERYTHING looks like a red flag because we live in a very narcissistic and dysfunctional society. So how do we separate the wheat from the chaffe? YOU are definitely NOT chaffe!
Eva i have tried the friends with benefit’s thing – they are all jerks looking for anything but a friend – I am not a saint – sex is easy to find in todays world..but if am like that – and I participate – then I am just as bad or shallow and empty as they are.
Yes, i understand you, hens.
But what the hell are they looking for? I suppose there must be people who is respectful and want sex and some friendship.
We’re done, it seems, with shallow and complicated people.
How can they be shallow and also complicated?