Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Unbelievable here.
“Friends with benefits”, I know people who are friends with benefits but very FEW. I can’t speak to their psychology. Some people, I believe, can emotionally handle such a thing. Others cannot. I think it’s entirely a personal choice issue. I don’t judge anyone if they do or don’t do the friends with benefits thing, because ultimately it’s the two people involved that have to live with the consequences.
Personally, for me, it doesn’t work. The depth I have is far more and I am aware enough about myself that if sex is involved I become attached. This is why vibrators were created and I am not at issue using one either. Friends with benefits?
NO thank you!!
RB
I agree on nixing the “Friends with benefits” thing—that isn’t for me either. To me, sexual intimacy is a “bonding ritual between two people who love each other.” Maybe that sounds old fashioned or prudish or something but I’m anything but prudish…just that casual sex isn’t for me, especially in a day when there are several STDS out there that antibiotics won’t cure! Hell, even I could find sex if that is all I wanted…but I want a relationship first, then possibly sex. Not gonna settle either.
Oh my God then we’ll oxidize if we have to wait till almost matrimony. 🙁
Ox,
ME NEITHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I have an std to COMPLICATE IT anyway….
One of my Best friends has HIV. She went seven YEARS without a relationshit. Each guy she dated, she was upfront about her HIV status. Most ran out the door. But the one with heart, gutts and LOVE didn’t…….he stayed…..when it came to revealing her HIV status to him, he said, “Yea so? There’s condoms, I’ll go buy some now”….
They’ve been together for seven years now 🙂
Those kinds of guys are out there, albeit very few, but they do exist. It takes a special man to think that way. To love a good woman.
I think of their story often for inspiration.
RB
😀 crack you up, hens.
My God, we’re fucked with STDS, spaths, jerks.
Ox is right with the STDS. How unfair is this life that one can’t even fuck in peace.
OH mY – Eva has a potty mouth tonite…let’s not end every conversation with the std speech..we are all adult’s – we aint virgins..I have a whole drawer full of condoms – I mite as well blow em up and make ballon figures out of them before they go bad….at our age we should at least be able to imagine sex with out stds….
A whole drawer…Hens, what happened?
I just have a few of them.
We could well use them because life is not free from risks anyway, isn’t it? 😀
They have bowls full of them at gay bars – I have been collecting them for year’s – instead of match books with phone numbers I collect rubbers…
” we aint virgins..”
Uh…..speak for yourself!!!!
It’s a respectable collection like any other, Hens.