Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey
petite
Hi Katy,
my jerk was told by his therapist when he went for counselling with his wife that he has traits of Narcissism.
Recently before he moved out, the wife ssaid, she could still consider giving it a chance, if he went for counselling and would read books with the kids on “how to live with a Narcisissitic parent”.
he said he flipped and that he does not have NArcisism, and refuses to go to counselling and read those books and that the wife’s ideas were weird and then he moved out.
So- he does not want to accept his disorder, let alone thinking of a change.
so what you said is right – it is avoidance of facing that he has NArcisis PD.
your thoughts Katy.
petite
one/joy_step_at_a_time
Star – my line for a long time was, i only sleep with people i am in love with, because everyone i sleep with i fall in love with. I took this stance when i was in my 30’s – because it is true. but maybe it isn’t love, maybe it’s bonding hormones and chemicals and then i want to open up to them. I can’t sleep with anyone unless I am willing to get involved. I wish it wasn’t the case.
KatyDid
Petite,
Truth: If you apply the standard of spath, his response is completely predicable. But the avoidance of truth that I was referring to was not his, b/c HIS avoidance doesn’t matter.
Another truth. He was not YOUR jerk. In the eyes of the law, God, the community, society… he was his wife’s jerk.
Stargazer
Me too, one joy. But every once in a while I jump the gun. Ugh. Sometimes being human just sucks. I haven’t always been like this. I used to be able to sleep with guys and still want to sleep with other guys. I think that was just part of youth. Nowadays I have a grace period of two times. Two episodes of sex before the hormones set in. Ugh. I have really come to hate men in some ways because they are not made like us. No offense to the more sensitive men on this site **coughhenscough** who are not like typical men.
Stargazer
I think the sex I had in Costa Rica was very good for me. I remember the first two times very vividly because afterward I was jumping up and down saying (to the guy), “YAY, I can have casual sex! Just like a man! I can be like a man!!!! Yippee!!! I felt like I was sticking it to every man who had ever used me.
Yeah, that feeling was short-lived. LOL
petite
agree Katy – he is his wife’s jerk until they get divorced.
the truth is our truth for us to accept that he had Narc PD and will not chnage.
do you think his repsonse to deny his narcissism and not read parenting books with the kids is predictable.
if so, thanks for the validation.
petite
ErinBrock
On a cold and stormy night……….
ErinBrock
Hey Star……..
ErinBrock
2Cop;
I don’t know what to say. Mistakes are made…….we are human.
Good luck.
Stargazer
EB, ha ha ha. Have you ever considered doing stand-up comedy? You crack me up!