Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Katy;
Dirty sex took on a WHOLE different meaning that night.
Petite,
Yes you are correct. He was emotionally AND legally unavailable. To have a REAL relationship. maybe you need to spend some time defining what that means to you. For me to enter a relationship, I HAVE to be able to respect the man and I can not respect a partner who does not share my moral values among my other core values.
I’m sorry this story is SO long! I don’t know if anyone has the patience to read it. But I wanted to get the story out because this guy is SO bizarre!
So after I came back from Costa Rica, I had a few different guys on the hook. I decided to go visit the neighbor because I was no longer interested in him but wanted closure. We ended up hanging out (just platonic) and he kept trying to have sex with me. I refused. To make a long story short, we became friends and gym buddies. He started calling me 3 times a week and wanting to take me to lunch and go to a movie and so on. We ended up sleeping together once during that time. I still had other guys on my mind.
Then out of the blue, it stopped. He didn’t return my last call. That was around New Years. I have not seen or heard from him. I did run into him at the gym last week. He was all friendly and acting like he wanted to talk to me. I just blew him off.
I really don’t understand musicians. But man, guys like this really wreak havoc on my self-esteem. I need to stay away from these types. Who the hell knows what’s up with him? He’s probably in a pot fog.
Erin-LOL. I guess the river water was a good way to get rid of it. SMDH
Star…..
Sounds like a dude.
Anyway, these are my dating experiences. They suck, and I really don’t like men very much right now.
The end.
Love, Star
Stargazer,
Oh my… I still have to go to sleep tonight. Alone. As I have so many years. SOME of us are not ever going to get laid again. So please. I think I hate you. Oh, NOT really. HMMMM. At least someone gets a little loving. Good for you.
I think you threw him for a spin coming on to him……
and letting him have a bit of noogie early…..
You were the bootie call, even though you pursued the bootie.
Maybe he wasn’t used to that and you freaked him out.
Good riddence….your worht WAY more than that girly!
Katy;
I have a body pillow and Holly.
Ms. Holly snuggles up close to me with her nose in my neck…..
Doesn’t fart in bed, doesn’t snore and doesn’t wake me up, unless necessary.
I like my new bedmate.
Yeah the only bad thing is that my front door faces this dude’s patio. In the summer, I see him out there without his shirt playing his guitar, and I drool. He is unbelievably sexy. But for all his sex appeal, I don’t think he dates much. (God with his poor seductions skills, it’s no wonder). The sex is not great – he doesn’t even really like to kiss or cuddle. But he still has this incredible magnetism. I don’t know what it is. I hope I meet someone that can get my mind off him.
I did meet another musician in November on the dating site. I really liked him, though he was in CA. I was visiting friends in CA in November, and hoped to meet up with him. But he disappeared, too, right before we were supposed to meet up.
I don’t know if it’s men in general or just musicians. I just don’t get it.