Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey
Stargazer
ANOTHER musician story? Maybe we need a website for people who survived dating musicians. Are they not the weirdest bunch you ever met?
KatyDid
Stargazer,
I am SO glad I didn’t miss out all these years. I had wondered. As a solo, no such thing as bad sex.
I will take all my magic moments over missed opportunities every time.
Having a martini in the club where it was invented.
Having tea during a raging thunderstorm, where the food was prepared by their Michelin Starred friend…
Being taken on a private tour of Berkeley Castle and being told by Charles that when they were children, if they misbehaved they were threatened with having to spend the night in the Kings quarters (it worked, they behaved!)
Sitting at the top of the tallest pyramid at Coba at sunset.
Taking the tram over the alps from France to Italy.
A perfect cup of coffee and pistachio loaf in Annecy.
Attending St Peter’s mass on Easter Sunday in Rome.
Watching comets with naked eye view.
Having party at the ranch (mouth of the river, clear warm night) with Scottish society, bagpipes, drums, fiddle, AND harp – bonfire, potluck, wine, and scotch.
Watching my daughter be chosen to sit on the kings throne during a tour of Hampton Court Palace.
Sailing on a gullet in Turkey and having an ice cream boat pull up to sell popsicles.
Renting a bicycle from the train station in Amsterdam and riding through countryside, stopping for a pannenkoeken brunch.
Partaking a Celtic Roman Bath in Baden Baden.
Waking up to a window full of Edinburgh Castle.
Sleeping in the B&B across the road from Newgrange and wandering the grounds with the caretaker after the place closed.
Etc etc etc. so you know when I say better than sex….
super chic
Star, I didn’t know you were the lead singer in a band!
Cool !!!! Maybe you told us before, but I forgot.
There were 3 pretty dang attractive guys in the band last night…
just my type… but the 20 year age difference might
be a slight disadvantage for me now, lol.
Well, I take that back, USED TO BE MY TYPE!
lesson learned
Shabby!!
LOL! How many of us here are in our late forties or early fifties?
Fucking spaths.
I was 37 and gorgeous when my spath snagged me.
Fucker. As Eden would say. Bastard is just NOT adequate enough. And he’s almost fifty and can snag Kim K.
Bastard!
lesson learned
Hens,
And you make room for you and the wieners in the same bed>?
God almighty man, I hope it’s a BIG BED!! I have only ONE wiener and he takes up the ENTIRE bed!
RB
lesson learned
Star,
Yep. don’t even know if it depends upon whether they are musicians or not if they’re spaths.
Spaths DEF have a “mechanical” appproach to music, as they do in the bedroom.
**yawn**
Stargazer
Katy, I love your sense of adventure (and I’ve done a few of those things myself – midnight mass at the Vatican on Xmas, for one). There is nothing about my exploits with men that outshine any of that. And certainly nothing to envy.
Roses,
The musician is not a spath, and certainly not the reason I came here. He’s just a musician pothead. I met my spath when I was 48, and it was very brief. But now that you mention it, I was 38 when I met the love of my life. He had some sociopathic traits and ended up hurting me very badly. I felt bitter for years about his taking my last prime years.
SC,
I was in a band for about 6 months, and then the band split up and I got canned. I was 41. It was one of the highlights of my life. I auditioned on sheer guts (and very little talent and no experience). And regarding your band guys from last night: so what’s a few years’ age difference? 10? 20? so what? ha ha I went to see Pete Yorn a few years ago. If you don’t know who he is, look for his youtube video “Strange Condition” (and wait for the other song to finish before it comes on). He is one of the hottest guys in the industry. I was in the front row smiling at him. He smiled back and threw me his guitar pick. I still have it, and I swoon every time I look at it. He’s probably about 30. WHAT IS IT ABOUT MUSICIANS?
super chic
Roses, yeah, bastard is just NOT adequate enough!!!!!
Stargazer
You guys are so awesome. It’s been nice meeting some of you this evening and chatting with my old friends from here.
I’m fading and need to go to bed.
Love, Star
super chic
I don’t know what it is about musicians,
I thought he was so wonderful…
turned out to be a turd with no empathy,
of course, it was always all about him.