Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey
Stargazer
Skylar, the feeding discussion comes after she falls in love with a snake. Don’t want to scare her off too soon. 🙂
I’m a bit of a nutcase with my snakes. I talk baby talk to them (and to everyone else’s snakes). I say “Wakey wakey, little snakey” to them on a regular basis. This is spoken in a really high pitched voice. The “wakey wakey” has come to be known on my reptile forum as a blessing that promotes health and well-being. ha ha I even sing them a birthday song with “Wakey wakey little snakey in it.” I’m regarded as a bit of a fruit loop (though a popular one) on my forum. Some are worse, though. A few actually make little outfits for their snakes. No joke. ha ha A forum is nice to belong to for snake people because sometimes your snake has a health issue and your vet doesn’t know what to do. The people on the forum usually do. They are also aces with husbandry and can help with all aspects of snake care. You will also find that there aren’t many local people you can talk to about the cute things your snake did. Forum people are all about that, and they will want to see pictures!
One step, if raised from a baby, a snake can be very docile and learn to trust its owner. Some even seem to enjoy being handled and will seek it out. I know my snakes recognize me and will come to me from across a room.
skylar
Star,
Hahaha! actually all animals do icky things, my cats eat mice…yeck.
But I don’t watch.
I have a question, my cat used to bring home snakes when I was a kid and I would play with them. Afterwards, my hands smelled bad. Do all snakes stink or was it just the fear?
Cats let off a funny smell when they are startled, so I wonder if snakes do too.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
given that i fed my cats a ‘raw’ (albeit dead) diet, i know i tend to do what’s best for the animal. so with a reptile that may mean ‘fresh’. sigh. will need good ear plugs.
docile? as opposed to….?
i love the image of the snakes coming from across the room to you. I have handled a few snakes. My fave was a baby boa. she was wrapped around her rollerskating keepers neck. Handling her made me realize how symbiotic the relationship was between snake and keeper – she wanted my warmth and i her silky coolness.
snake clothes?(never going to happen!) i might as well get the hairless cat and knit the leg warmers and cowl neck sweater….mind you, given my knitting skill level, a tube would be easier.
Stargazer
Sky, a lot of snakes – especially wild garters – give off a stinky goo called musk when they are upset or scared. This is probably what you were smelling. Boas typically don’t do that, but king snakes and a few others do.
One, this is how it all started for me. I held a baby boa in a pet store. He climbed up my arm and nestled in my hair. It was instant love. BTW, you don’t need to feed live or even freshly killed prey. In fact, it’s dangerous to feed live and inhumane to the prey. You can buy rodents already frozen, or have them pre-killed at the store, then take them home and freeze them. That’s what I do. The freezing kills the parasites.
Stargazer
I have a picture in my photobucket account of me in my living room with my 5-1/2 foot snake crawling across the room and up my leg to get on my shoulders. I wish I could figure out a way to post it.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hmm , hadn’t thought about the parasites.
lesson learned
Star?
Five and a half foot snake? EEEEEEEEEEK!
A friend of mine had a huge boa. Biggest baby ever. I’m just not a big snake fan, not afraid of them, just, okay maybe a little lol!!
RB
Stargazer
She’s closer to 6 feet now. 🙂 Still my cuddly baby. I’ve had her since she was about 18″.
lesson learned
Star,
Wow. I think that’s pretty amazing. The friend of mine that had the boa was amazing with it. They had this great relationship of trust. To me it was foreign, maybe that’s why it was a little on the scary side for me.
RB
Stargazer
I think you can learn to trust each other within responsible limits. They are still wild animals. When my snakes get bigger, I will follow the 2-person rule (2 people in the room for every 6 foot of snake. Just in case.) When you become too complacent – that’s when these accidents happen that you see on TV.