Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey
Stargazer
Roses,
We have a lady on our snake site who is terrified of snakes. She loves frogs though. She’s been hanging out on our site for so long that she’s starting to like snakes and is considering getting one now.
geminigirl
Roses, Star, hens,
Many years ago, I hada beautiful tortoiseshell {you call them Calico cats! called Pansy. My daughter brought her home when she was a kitten,I think she got her from a Market stall. She was moving with fleas when we got her, but turned into a most beautiful lady cat. She only had one litter,-she must have had some Siamese blood, as one of her kittens came out cream, with chocolate tail and ear tips, and sky blue eyes.What we didnt know was that Pansy had secondary Syphilis,{maybe her Mum was a Moll.}We found it out when I took her to the Vet, as she couldnt nurse her kittens, she used to growl at them when they paddled her to get the milk out. She had milk fever, and mastitis,-very painful, no wonder she growled! She had a growth each side of her throat and the Vet said, it would be kindest to put her to sleep now, as the growths would eventually close up her throat, and she wouldnt be able to breathe.Also, she was starting to dribble foul smelling ooze on cushions, etc,{from her bottom} not hygeinic with kids a round. So, I had to do it.
I held her on the table, and just before he put the needle in, she gazes into my eyes, and started this deep, throaty purring!Almost like she was saying,”Its OK, its not your fault!” I was blinded with tears.
She had always jumped on my chest in the early morning, and “made scones” ie, kneaded my chest with her front paws. One morning, not long after shed been put to sleep, I was wakened by purring, and my chest being kneaded.
This happened for a few mornings,, -when I put the light on, nothing there. It was Pansy, come back to let me know she was OK! {It wasnt another cat, by then all her kittens had been found homes, so shed been the only one.}
Now I know there will bea long line of cats waiting for me in Heaven!,and one dog, our toy Poodle, Licky, who died of old age,& totally blind, at 14.She had not a single tooth in her head by then, and used to give you a black, gummy smile!!Animals, so much nicer than most people, they give us so much love and devotion. As I read once,
“I wish I was that man that my dog thinks I am!!”
Lots of Love,
Mama GemXX
hens
Hi Gem My grandson’s have a pet lizard – they paid 65 bucks of xmas money to get him – not sure what kind he is but he eats crikets..they have two pet turtles – stinky things – I really think it is their mom that loves the slimey critters – she would have a pet snake but my son draw’s the line with that ..he says no snakes in his house…he is terrrified of snakes – one time I caught a garden snake and was carrying it into the garage where he was and he said ‘Dad if you come any closer I WILL hurt you…lmao- poor guy his work buddies are always pullin tricks on him with fake snakes – hope he doesnt have a heart attack – I leave snakes alone unless they are out to harm me or my wieners or my chickens when I have chickens – so yes I am a snake murderer – my little wiener bout died last year from a snake bite if i could of found that snake he would be in snake heaven too…I think scorpions are the scariest creatures on the planet – guess cause i was stung by a few as a kid and oh they hurt like a mother…….
lesson learned
Hens,
You have grandchildren? Wonderful!!
mama gem, you are the sweetest heart! Your story is especially comforting to me right now.
My wiener is not doing well and has been worse today. Trying to surround him with LOTS of positive energy. He knew the sun was out today, so he went into my room and snuggled up in the laundry basket right in front of the window so he could catch some sun. My little sun bum 🙂
I”ve not had my wiener as long as some of you have had your pets, but there is just something very precious about them.
Hens, you must live on the side of the planet to which scorpions and snakes are aplenty (I’m guessing AZ but that isn’t necessarily true where there is constant sun). I wouldn’t put it past me to kill a snake if it was attacking my wiener. Fortunately, I live in the part of my state that would not be cozy for rattlers so we have your typical garter snake. My wiener is rather fearless and would try to snag the snake. Snake was a bit smarter. 🙂
If you got stung by scorps hens, aren’t they like ……lethal?
Just wondering how that was handled? Or is it a myth that their stings are lethal?
lesson learned
Star,
Where is the site? I’d be interested in checking it out.
We’ve had a turtle and my daughter had a pet garter snake…she loves snakes……….
I would like to get over the aversion however. I’m trying to move and wish to find a place that I can plant a garden again. Garters are aplenty here in gardens 🙂
hens
some scorpions are lethal – most are not – I just assume they all are. Yes I have grandchildren and i am sure that is freakin you out because I am not bi sexual – never was – my X wife is happily married for 25 + years now – she and I are great friends…….
lesson learned
Hens,
I don’t know your history nor that you were married. I have a whole lot of questions I’d ask that are none of my damned business so I won’t.
But I think it’s great that you’re a grandpa. Also that you and your ex are good friends! THAT”S how a healthy break up SHOULD be, even if long ago!!
How many grandchildren and how old? HOw fun, they probably just love being around you!
hens
i would rather discuss that privately – ask donna for my email if u want…
Stargazer
Roses,
Unfortunately I cannot post the name of the site on here. I did it once and it created a linkback from the site to here. I was mortified and called the site moderator on New Years Day to remove the link and the thread. I don’t want anyone over there reading my stuff over here because it’s so personal! I mean, I think I was discussing my sex life around that time. However, if we ever exchange emails, I’ll be glad to send you the name of the site so you can check it out.
And I’m blocking my ears to the snake-killing talk. la la la la la la la I can’t hear you….
lesson learned
Star LOL!
If it’s okay, I can ask Donna for your email and check out your site.
I do understand why you can’t post it.
RB