Ever since Lovefraud launched in 2005, my goal has been to educate people about the dangers of sociopaths—preferably before their lives are shredded. One effort in that direction is the Lovefraud high school education program—I’ll be doing my first three classes next month.
Another effort is my next book—tentatively called Red Flags of Love Fraud—Signs that you’re dating a sociopath. It will identify behavior that may indicate a prospective romantic partner is not all that he or she claims to be, and explain how what seems to be expressions of love may, in fact, be strategies of manipulation and control.
We’ve discussed our experiences here on Lovefraud, and through the telling, identified many behaviors that all seem to “come from the same playbook.” However, I’d like to collect that information in a more structured way so that I can use it in the book. Therefore, I invite you to participate in the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey.
Most of the questions are multiple choice, but there are a few places where you can write out your observations. It would probably be best to do the survey when you have about 20 minutes of free time.
Thank you for your contributions. To start the survey, click the following link:
Warm Summer Flower, I do like that, too. It’s very soft and sweet and pretty, just like you, Rose bud. I shall now know it is you, when I see your new name.
In case you are still here, Goodnight… Sweet dreams,
Much love,
E
Eden,
Thank you. But thank One. She came up with it. I decided to go with it because it sounds peaceful and beautiful….something I strive for now…
Sweet Dreams, Eden.
Hugs
Flower.
Thank you for creating this survey. It was very validating. Only a person who has been involved with a sociopath could have known the proper questions to ask! Perfect fit!
Thank you … looking forward to reading more of the survey results and comments. My question would be how many of the sociopaths have addiction problems other than the obvious sexual addiction. Mine turned out to be a huge alcholic, he was also very skilled at hiding his drinking! I left him and later found him in our home that I had completely cleaned out (did not even leave him a roll of toilet paper). He had been there (no utilties for the last 3 months) for 9 months and had done nothing except drink! I know that this was his sick attempt to have me find him and feel sorry for him. His way of trying to suck me back in. He thought he would make me feel guilty and sorry for him!! I tried to divorce him one time (9 months into the marriage) and this had worked before. I had dropped him off at the hospitol for a major surgery then went to see an attorney. He sucked me back in making me feel sorry for him and guilty for leaving him! Not working this time!!! The best artical on this site for me was “getting over that amazing chemestry” if anyone has not read that do it now! Thank you!!! I wish I had found this site a long time ago!
Sandy,
My spath was alcoholic BIG TIME. It’s gotten worse over the course of the last couple of years. His MO, or “lure” at the beginning was creating for me, an interest in wines. I was also developing into an alcoholic, which is just where he wanted me, to lower my inhibitions.
It scared me enough that I went completely sober. And that was the beginning of the end. I had told him that I wanted to stop drinking. That it was frightening me. He use to call ME the alcoholic, while he told me he “just enjoyed drinking”. I had made mention several times of giving it up and he’d say, “You can’t do it, but when you’re ready, we can do it together, get healthy together”
What BS that was. When I actually did stop, he continued to try to manipulate me to drink again. He’s still drinking like a fish
UGH….I”m so glad to be out of that nightmare.
Flower
Such great comments about the survey. Thank you all.
Of course, I couldn’t have developed the survey if I hadn’t been there. We all learned the hard way.
I toke the survey, too, some days ago. Such a big psycho had to be counted, of course.
To Eden,
I find that a sad thought. My experience prepares me to avoid other sociopaths. Glorious in that it is so true. Rejoicing in that I am on to them. Sad in that I missed out on meeting a good guy. My time was stolen by a sociopath.
To Roses,
Yes, they spot us out a mile away.
Interesting: I have a profile up on a dating site. A guy I met said he met me because he thought I would be easy.
I asked him to explain more. He said I write so easy-going that he thought I would be easy.
This was a huge statement. I never thought of easy-going as easy. It is put in same class as slutty. Just gotta talk her into it. Now I see how the dark world thinks.
They cheapen honest people!
Eva, you just made me laugh. You are very funny. Of course all of these psychos would get a giant ego boost knowing they were immortalized on a survey. ha ha
dating site = dark world