Lovefraud has just posted a new case study on Lovefraud.com. It’s probably the most frightening article in True Lovefraud Stories:
Mark Ledden stabs his wife 11 times, then accuses her of attacking him
This is the story of a man who would probably score at the top of the PCL-R, the tool that measures psychopathic traits. He was charming, scamming and over sexed. He coldly threatened violence. Then, when he was crossed, he brutally acted on his threats.
It is also the story of a woman caught in a no-win situation. He seemed like a good guy, a responsible guy, when they became involved. Three months later they were engaged, and three months after that she was pregnant.
After the second child, Mark Ledden started threatening to kill his wife if she ever left him. By this time, Denise knew him well enough to take the threats seriously. She knew he was capable of committing that act of violence.
She also knew that if she left him, he would track her down and make good on his threats. So she stayed—until he did commit violence so atrocious that he was sent to prison. Luckily, she survived.
What do you do?
This case brings up the most difficult scenario when involved with a psychopath: What do you do when he (or she) threatens brutal violence, and you know the person means it?
What good is a restraining order? In reality, they are nothing but pieces of paper, and violence-prone psychopaths don’t care about paper.
Do you go off the grid and completely disappear? If so, how do you start over? You’ll have no identity, no background, no support network.
If Denise had called me for advice while she was still with this man, I don’t know what I would have told her. So I ask Lovefraud readers for your views. How would you advise someone who is living with a psychopathic volcano that could explode at any time?
Ox Drover
Actually, Star I am also amazed that they don’t try to eat your cats if they are at nearly 6 ft. Did you see that video of the huge python disgorging a baby hippo that it had swallowed? That was absolutely awesome! One of my favorite vids is the one where the rabbit is chasing the BIG rattle snake.
When we used to feed rattlesnakes (we actually bought and sold them by the hundred pounds) we would feed them live mice and we had to cut the teeth off the mice as if not, sometimes they would actually chew the heads off the snakes who would just sit there and let them do it….never did make sense to me. I never actually handled the venomous snakes, only the non venomous ones, though I did transport some in cages and cans but I drew the line at actually handling them. Even the experts get bitten every now and then and it isn’t worth the chance to me.
Stargazer
I never let the snakes and cat out in the same room together, just in case. Fortunately, the snakes don’t recognize a cat’s scent as prey, but I would never chance it! This summer I am going to pitch my tent on my patio and put a kiddie pool in it, for the snakes to be outside without being seen or being a threat to the cat, who can also hang out on the patio.
Stargazer
Oh yeah, I was only kidding about my snakes climbing into bed. LOL They are in locked cages unless I take them out for exercise, supervised, away from the cat.
hens
ox – you pulled the teeth out of live mice? did i read that right?
fame2
The ex spath was/is terrible. He used to hit me and give me bruises in places that wouldn’t show to the average person. He (was a part time actor-full-time spath) and brought home a fake(I was unaware of it being a prop) movie gun one night. Held it to my head and asked me what would I think about him if he pulled the trigger?! Um, stupid I’d probably be dead…
So what do you do if faced with the unpredictable spath, and you want out?
I say: plan as much as you can, (time is of essence) and get out. Never think of it as running away ( you are) because it is about saving your life!
Save your money, if u need, borrow if u can from someone you trust and has no affliation with him/her. (this is important because gaslighting has already been in effect form the spath and they are very good at it sometimes!
Make the police aware ( go to the domestic violence specialists and let them know: you are moving and if anything happens to you prior or after you move, please suspect the spath.
Don’t announce you are leaving to anyone or mislead the people around you who cannot be trusted.
Make a plan. When how and where you are going is important.
Set the date and stick to it.
Be careful not to leave any hints or suggestions that you might be leaving, they like to draw you back into the widows web (no offense) in order to confirm their innate paranoia.
Don’t tell children they are leaving if you don’t have to. A trip to grandmas house might raise and eyebrow.
If you are escaping by car, have new licenses in place.
Remember you are not running / you are protecting your lovely life from a sick individual who might end it with no remorse.
You owe it to yourself to be prepared and loved.
Ox Drover
Dear Fame
Good advice! Glad that you make it out alive! God bless.
candy
Fame2 – excellent advice and I would echo ‘plan as much as you can, (time is of essence) and get out’ and ‘Be careful not to leave any hints or suggestions that you might be leaving’