If you’ve been visiting Lovefraud for awhile, you probably know that Lovefraud author and member Joyce Alexander, who comments as “Ox Drover,” is protesting the parole of her son, Patrick Alexander.
Patrick Alexander was convicted of murdering 17-year-old Jessica Witt in January, 1992. Then, in 2007, while still in prison, Patrick sent a man to kill his mother, Joyce. She believes that if Patrick were paroled, he would come after her again.
Joyce has expressed the sorrow that she feels for the family of Jessica Witt, whose life her son ended. Now we can understand what that family endured. Jessica Witt’s aunt, MaryHellen Cuellar, has posted about the experience on a website called “Story of My Life.” It is truly heartbreaking.
On behalf of Lovefraud, I send our sincere condolences to the family of Jessica Witt. No one should have to experience such a tragedy.
“Jessica’s Story” by MaryHelen Cuellar, on StoryOfMyLife.com.
Thank you Discovering, and BTW when you find something offensive here at LF (and I agree that those GRAPHIC descriptions of rape were not necessary and would be triggering) use the “report abusive comment” link and let Donna know. SHE WILL take you seriously.
Donna can’t be here 24.7 so it is up to US to watch and keep LF a safe and supportive place.
Oxy,
It was so sad to read Jessica’s story as written by her aunt.I was glad they received the support they got.It was also sad to read of how Jessica’s grandfather died.But I couldn’t help but think of you as I was reading.Patrick destroyed TWO families.((( Hugs )))
Blossom, yes he did and in reality he killed himself at the same time, only he doesn’t even realize it. He is so arrogant, believe it or not, that he thinks he is a BIG SUCCESS. Maybe in the prison he is a “success” in that he puts one over on the guards, but in the first 15 years he was in, he got slammed into solitary 19 times, and transferred to another prison several times.
I still find out new things about him from time to time, like the story about Jessica told me what “defense” he used, and I think he is so arrogant that he actually thought it would work. LOL
The arrogance he has is beyond belief…he is almost a clone of my P sperm donor–except he at least got away with the murders he did.
I am just grateful to God that I am alive to protest his release and knowing that Jessica’s family IS PROTESTING and will continue to protest as long as there is a member of the family left alive, as will my sons and I will protest as long as we live. He most likely WILL get out at some time, my attorney says when he gets too old and sick that his medical bills are high enough that the prison system doesn’t want to pay them any more but hopefully by then he will no longer be a danger to us.
Until yesterday when I found that story I had no way of knowing that her family was protesting because the parole process is secret on who testifies or writes letters. There is no way anyone, especially Patrick, can find out. I pray that Jessica’s family finds peace and that Patrick breathes his last in prison.
Ox Drover,
I’m so sorry for you to have to relive this over and over- it truly will never be over for you. I feel the same right now with my spath wanting to poison and stalk me. Scary stuff to have to deal with.
No wonder you have so much insight and knowledge to share with others- it is a reflection of the immense amount of pain you have had to heal from- I’m sorry about that.
I hope that you get the results you need from the parole board- you’ll be in my prayers.
I will write as well.
I found this video which is now my new favorite band. but the video is very affecting. Five sailers meet with an (i would say) an angel who follows them on a perilous journey through a dangerous world. Here there are terrible monsters and they struggle along and the angels fights along with them as they navigate through the dangers of a fearsome world.
they fall thrugh ice and more monsters and drown but the sky opens up and a magnificent great creature, i would still say an angel (because really, who says angels look like men with wings anyway? they’ve been described as magnificant looking. i think it’s vanity of men that made them all look like humans but with wings. anyway the sailors look up in awe and are raised up into the sky and the great ox like beautiful angel spreads its wings and raises them all up to heaven… anyway that’s how i interpreted it.
Of Monsters and Men Little Talks:
http://vimeo.com/53138456
i need to visualize something to “feel” the story of the family, it’s the way i learn to take things into myself… the lyrics sings of loss and reunion…
“…You’re gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear.
All that’s left is a ghost of you.
Now we’re torn, torn, torn apart,
there’s nothing we can do,
Just let me go, we’ll meet again soon…”
From one Joyce to another-
Our names aren’t all we have in common. We both had psychopathic mates and psychopathic sons.
I consider myself fortunate that mine just lies, steals, is heartless and cruel.
I knew exactly what you felt in your comment about spanking your son. I took a belt to mine once. I was so desperate to find a solution for his deplorable behavior, I did what I’d promised myself I’d never do. He was too big and I was too small for it to have any affect. He laughed……and he never let me forget it! I was that horrid, terrible mother
I saw an episode of Southland a couple of months back. A little boy called the police because his mother spanked him with a strap. The officer asked the mother, “What did he do?” Then he told her, “If he ever does it again, call me!” Then he turned to the little boy and said, “You should be thankful that your mother loves you enough to spank you.”
Where was that officer when we were bringing up our boys?
I’ve written a book that I’ll be releasing soon about my journey along a predator’s path. I have a few poems in it and wanted to share this one with you…
On Being a Mother
You storm, my son, and scream contempt, so this I say to you,
I hope that you can understand, and know each word is true:
I’m not a perfect person, there was no perfect plan.
And you were hardly perfect, love, but I did all I can.
The closest to apology, the best you’ll get from me,
For being there, for molding you, to the man you ought to be.
For I was foe to alcohol, to stealing and to drugs,
I stayed your side and through it all, I never held back hugs.
The right, the wrong, there was no guide, there was no path sublime.
No matter what the mountain holds, there’s loads of steep decline.
All mothers are just people who, came in this life like you.
And pray God gives us wisdom to do the best that we can do.
The saddest part of having a disordered child is that we need to accept that their moral reasoning is unlikely to ever develop, and that there is nothing that we can do about it. Hopefully, through this website and recent literature, parents will comprehend how to spot the signs of low empathy in a child and attempt interventions early enough to develop that skill.
Your contributions on this site help to curb the spread of psychopathy. By disclosing the perils of association with psychopaths and sociopaths, you help others recover or develop the awareness that can keep them from harm.
My letter goes in the mail tomorrow.
Yours truly,
Joyce Mincheff
This video had an unknown and open ending. It’s hopeful but ends sad. because its still unresolved.. One escaped and another didn’t make it.
I thought of Onebody’s post in another thread about being separated from her children. I needed to internalize that feeling of loss somehow. Another Aspie once wrote that it’s our/as in (us aspies) responsibility to make a deliberate effort of the mind and of the will to identify with other people, until we see things as they see them, and feel things as they feel them. This is empathy in the literal sense of the word, he says,: Empathy is derived from two Greek words, en, which means in, and paschein which means to experience or to suffer. Empathy means experiencing things in other people, literally going through what they are going through as if we were them going through it ourselves…”
The ending of the video stung but it got to me. But i was able to take that feeling of loss into myself and the limbo of things as of yet unresolved… that sense of still waiting for that reunion that some still have to wait for… idk it’s the best way i can feel something and take it into myself. i have to visualize it and become that person. i don’t know how you guys will take it but i feel this video is a lovely magical piece of visual story telling…
I love this icelandic group and the lyrics are also very affecting.
King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men
http://vimeo.com/61579742
Thank you Joyce, for your understanding and your poem, I’m also a “poet” of sorts and have written many for my children.
The sorrow at losing a child to death is horrible, I lost a step son to a car wreck and a foster son to suicide (many years after e left my care) but to lose one to the prison door, and realize that he still BLAMES ME that he killed Jessica.
Now I can almost laugh about him claiming abuse, but you know, I half think he half BELIEVES his lies about being abused.
Dear Oxy, dearest heart: As a mother of an only son that is “not normal”… my heart-felt empathies are for you, Jessica, her family as well. As a mother, i have tried to put myself in your stead, how i would feel, and that is difficult beyond what i am able to imagine. If Patrick wete my son, i too, would fight to my last breath to see to it that he stays beyond the light of day. I cant say, i know this must be difficult, because i cant imagine. Thank you for your heart of conpassion, that you have remained here at LF, and that out of your pain and heartache, you bring and give healing and hope to sooooo many. Bless you, dearest heart… Sincerely, Radar <3
I don’t understand why they didn’t let the aunt who was closest to her know that she had moved out of her home and into an apt. Why the hell didn’t they tell her? She MAYBE could have talked some sense into her. Not to blame or anything..just..jezus!
Oxy, I cried too when I read this. YOU are not to blame. Patrick even lied about when his trial would be because he knew he was guilty. Lawyer was a con too. set Patrick up to say this so you wouldnt’ be in court to counteract…the mother is not there to defend herself. What a scum that lawyer was..Oh, well he got convicted nevertheless.
I’m glad I wrote a letter for you. It’s funny…I was expecting a letter from your lawyer saying: thank you for your protest letter, LOLOL! can we say duh???