My heart felt full in Italy: A sign of recovery

I just spent two and a half wonderful weeks in Italy with my husband, Terry Kelly. We gave ourselves the trip for our 20^th wedding anniversary. It was the trip of a lifetime, and multiple times in the first few days I said to Terry, “I can’t believe we’re here.” 

The art was astonishing, the food was delicious, and the people were warm and friendly. The entire time, my heart felt full. It was a feeling that I hope all Lovefraud readers can experience, even after a run-in with a sociopath.

Rome, Naples and Sicily

We spent five days in Rome, five days in Naples and five days in Acireale, Sicily. 

In Rome we saw the major sites — the Colosseum, Vatican Museum, Sistine Chapel, St. Peter’s Basilica, the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps. Rome was a collection of ancient monuments, ornately decorated churches, and palatial residences filled with astounding artwork — all surrounded by traffic and tourists.

In Naples, we went to an opera at the magnificent Teatro di San Carlo. It is the oldest continuously operating opera venue in the world, opening in 1737. We saw Romeo and Juliet, which was a great production, as long as we overlooked the fact that they cast a 48-year-old man with a beer belly as Romeo. 

While in Naples, we took side trips to Pompeii and Herculaneum, two cities that were devastated by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 A.D. They were buried under 20 feet of volcanic ash and lost for 1,500 years. Once discovered and excavated, the ruins offered insight into ancient Roman city planning and public life. 

I wanted to go to Acireale, Sicily, specifically for the town’s Carnivale. It’s a multi-day festival with a series of parades through the town. The floats are the most magnificent I’ve ever seen. Each float is actually performance art that puts on a 16-minute show, with music, lights and movement. 

Wonder of human creativity

What I found most striking about Italy was that everywhere we went, we experienced the wonder of human creativity. 

From ancient Roman engineering marvels like the Colosseum to magnificent churches with exquisite paintings by artists like Caravaggio, accessible for free, to the fantastical papier-mache Carnivale floats, talent and craftsmanship were everywhere. I was astounded by the beauty and realistic detail of sculptures that were hundreds, or even thousands, of years old. Even in our hotel rooms, the marble floors and countertops were impeccable.

Sansevero Chapel

One highlight of our trip,  among many, was the Museo Cappella Sansevero in Naples — the Sansevero Chapel. It features an incredibly realistic sculpture called Veiled Christ, showing Jesus after his death, covered by what appears to be a transparent veil. The lifelike statue was carved from a single block of marble by Guiseppe Sanmartino in 1753.

The small Sansevero Chapel dates to 1590 and was renovated by Raimondo di Sangro, prince of Sansevero, in the 18^th century. Now it displays 28 amazing works of art — sculpture and paintings. The ceiling and walls are also painted, like in all the churches and palaces that we visited.  

Religion and spirituality

I knew before the trip that Italy, particularly Rome and the Vatican, is the heart of Christianity. Still, I didn’t realize the extent to which religion was central to Italian life. 

An Uber driver told us that Rome has 1,000 churches. We frequently saw priests, nuns and pilgrims from around the world. The streets and piazzas were named for saints and popes, and small shrines were installed into the sides of buildings. 

Major churches were all exquisitely decorated, with murals painted on vaulted ceilings. Martin Luther, an important figure of the Protestant Reformation, complained that church leaders spent too much money on artwork, and he probably had a point. Many popes who commissioned artwork wanted to project their power.

Still, artists often expressed their religious convictions through their work. When we visited the Sistine Chapel, we saw Michelangelo’s famous ceiling, commissioned in 1508, and the Last Judgment painting on the wall above the alter, commissioned in 1541. Our Rick Steves audio guide explained how Michelangelo’s work depicted the artist’s interpretation of complex theological issues.

Centuries ago, many people were illiterate. Paintings and sculptures were created not only for beauty, but to convey spiritual and moral messages. The truly great artworks portrayed inspirational messages in ways that could not be easily explained, but could be internally felt.

Allegory and life

According to Dictionary.com, an allegory is “a representation of an abstract or spiritual meaning through concrete or material forms; figurative treatment of one subject under the guise of another.” In Italy, allegory was everywhere.

Ancient Roman art often used allegory in depicting stories of mythology. Paintings up until the 16^th century, commissioned by church leaders, had biblical or Christian themes. Even today, the Carnivale floats in Acireale are called “allegorical grotesque,” and continue the tradition, dating back to the 1500s, of using allegory to mock the rich and powerful. We saw several floats with unflattering depictions of Uncle Sam and international political leaders.

The floats were fabulous creations of movement, lights and music, but revelers were the real spirit of the Carnivale. Thousands of people flocked to Acireale for daytime and nighttime events. Children and adults wore exotic costumes. Terry and I at least had shiny hats. The festival was truly a celebration of life.

My heart felt full

So why am I telling you all about our trip to Italy? As I said in the beginning, my heart felt full. And that, to me, is evidence of my recovery after my devastating marriage to a sociopathic con man. 

I once posted an article on How to get revenge against the sociopath. The answer? Living well is the best revenge. The sociopath did not ruin me forever. I can enjoy myself. You can too.

Secondly, everything we saw in Italy drove home the point that human beings have been searching for answers to the questions of life for thousands of years. 

Life is complicated. Bad things happen. Sometimes we need forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometimes we experience miracles.

There is a deeper meaning to our lives here on Earth, and we’re all just trying to figure it out.

Learn more: True Recovery from Betrayal