The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., will be the topic of discussion at a New York City Barnes & Noble Book Store on April 22, 2010, at 7 p.m.
The event is sponsored by the Non-Fiction Reading Club at the Barnes & Noble at 86th and Lexington Avenue. All are welcome.
Event announcement provided by a Lovefraud reader.
I LOVE this book! It helped me immensly with the begining of my still ongoing recovery. Three plus years ago after surviving two horrific events where my son’s father attempted to kill me, assaulted my daughter and kidnapped my son, my victims of crime advocate suggested I pick up this book. As I read I used a yellow highlighter to mark all of the characteristics that my spath has and I will say I have a very colored book. She discribes in the book how there are different degrees of the sociopath some worse than others, well my spath had them all covered! Oh and I’m happy to say he is doing 94 yrs to life w/o perole in San Quentin!
Linda:
I agree…..this was a eye opening book! I actually got it on CD….I borrow it out to ANY friend going on a roadtrip….
I’ts riveting and it shows you, from a non personal experience, but in the same way personal (as if we could all be that duped person)…..that HEY….they ARE next door…
Sounds like you’ve been through HELL…..and are on a healing journey…..
Lf is a healing place where so many of our stories mesh….I hope you continue to stick around and gain education and insight on what road we’ve been down…..in a sense….together.
I’m glad you and your kids are safe and will be for a Loooonnngggg time….at least that is a comfort for you…..San Quentin……not a bad place to be for a sociopath to spend his life!!!!
XXOO
EB
Sabrina, i am sorry that happened to you. Mine has pulled this similiar drama behavior many many times. He really is the boy that cried wolf. I count 8 ‘suicide’ attempts from mine. I am sorry this person is your son so it is harder to get away from.
I will be sure to report in on the book discussion if i can make it. In fact maybe i should review my book to prepare!
Death is final……WHAT, do they plan on staying dead?
I know spaths behaviors are off….but faking death?
I can’t imagine what they say when you ‘stumble’ across them in the ‘grave’.
The spath told some peeps that I HAD DIED.
That one always boggled me……
I ran into two men who were so surprised and pleased to see me……it was very uncomfortable, they said..No, NO EB…..you don’t understand, we were told you had passed away!
WTF?
Can you imagine how stupid I felt at that moment…..kinda like a fake reincarnation…..that I WAS NEVER AWARE OF.
I can ‘see’ them lying about so many things….BUT DEATH????
What ignorance…..to try and ‘set’ someone else up for this fall.
I thought…..OH, I’ll SHOW YOU WHAT A DEAD WOMAN CAN DO!!!!
Jane, and EB-Good morning ladies! Jane, I would LOVE to see how the others at the book review respond to the notion of s-pathy and I hope they are referred to LF for further research. Maybe you could print out some info from here.
Jane- I too am sorry for you having to see him die a whopping 8 times, whew! its like- going,,,going.. dang he ain’t gone YET???? lol
My x spath husband tried the fake suicide- I was freakn out but my dad wasnt falling for the BS- he said YOU tell them to CALL you WHEN he’s DEAD! I’m still waiting……………….
SAD THING is they are already pretty much DEAD.. He (x spath) is dead to ME anyways, so taking it to next level of flat lining wouldn’t change much. lol
The fake pity play of See me Die- NOT!!!! shows the spaths RIDICULOUS lack of impulse control , his over the top obsession with self, and complete LACK of regard for others.
Dear Jane Smith,
I am glad that you are here! I do hope you can make the book discussion group as I am curious about the way others receive the information.
No offense intended at all, but your comment to Sabrina “I am sorry this is your son, so it is harder to get away” struck me as WRONG–getting away from ANY psychopath is DIFFICULT and painful, but NECESSARY, no matter WHAT the relationship is….we can’t deal with them without being DAMAGED by the contact. They are kind of like “battery acid” and will eat into you just from being in contact. Until you get and stay away from the Psychopath, you will continue to burn and hurt! Only when you are AWAY can you treat the wounds and heal the injuries and every time we have contact again we end up with NEW WOUNDS or old ones reopened!
Again, glad you are here! God bless.
this is from The Way of the Horse, by Linda Kohanov p.102- she does woek known as ‘Epona’ – equine facilitiated therapy.
in it she is talking about rage within a dominance/submission paradigm (or serf/ master), which i posit is the pradigm we are in with spaths (who i think i will call ppaths from now on. i think i am done with the ‘less threatening’ sound of sociopath. the ppath of my aquaintaince would have eaten me for lunch and not given a second thought – so she is now and forever dubbed as threatening)
‘…rage is an intensification of anger, a protective agent that has been so grossly misunderstood we’ve almost lost our ability to make sense of it.’
‘…this arcahic mentality (dominance/submission, master/sef, slave) doesn’t recognize the concept of personal boundaries, so it virtually outlaws (our) anger.’
for those of us who feel rage beyond any limit previously known must know that it IS apporpriate to what the ppaths try to do to us. ‘…to force them (slaves) to give up their lands, relinquish their culture, squlech their dreams, and work without just compensationis is a gross boundary violation solidified through relentless demoralization.’
it goes on to say – that ‘…concientious cowards (don’t take offense, i belong in this category) engage in drugs, sex adddictions, and other self destructive behaviour to diffuse a rage turned inward…’ HELLEW – my teen years.
and most beautifully: ‘…yet anger in its purest form is nothing less that a call for self-respect and integrity – and the courage to reiforce them both.’
love,
one step
Did anybody watch that Dateline recently where that spath woman conned her children into helping her kill her husband and had them hide the secret for 25 years before her daughter finally came out and told her story? For years the woman told her daughter that if she wanted her to, she would “do the right thing.” Meaning, confess what she’d done. Well, when the daughter finally told police, the woman threw her daughter under the bus and said she just did it because her daughter was yelling at her to do it. All in all, the woman only got ten years in jail for 2nd degree manslaughter, even though she had planned the whole thing and viciously murdered her husband with her daughter watching. It’s sick, and it makes me sick that this world, this JUSTICE system, allows people to act this way, to do these heinous crimes, and the only people to really pay are the victims. Sociopaths can act so remorseful, place blame on others, and be so charismatic that they can be forgiven of even murder by our so-called justice system.
JaneSMith:
I really hope you can make it to this book discussion…..
I would LOVE to attend this!!!!
Keep us posted!
And SPREAD the word!!!!
jane – having endured three ‘deaths’, all I can say is @.......#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#
and may they all rot.