Jimmy Savile was one of the most well-know stars of British television. Everyone knew he was eccentric and many people apparently knew he was also a sexual predator who targeted young girls for decades.
Jimmy Savile scandal on BBC.co.uk.
‘If we blabbed on Jimmy, the family would have been left with nothing’: Savile’s abused great niece tells how paedophile DJ bought his relatives’ silence, on DailyMail.co.uk.
Britain’s Jimmy Savile abuse scandal: how could his crimes have gone unnoticed for so long? on WashingtonPost.com.
Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
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KatyDid:
I understand completely what you are saying, but there was no mistaking the sociopathic stare I got from the ass I was involved with. Sorry, but that is way different than the stare you have or the stare your neighbor has because of her allergies. So yeah, people need to realize it’s just not ANY “stare.” There does need to be more education. I get what you are saying.
Just as you are saying that if they were easy to pick out because they were horrible, mean, awful people, we wouldn’t have the problems we do. That’s why I said about a year ago on here that sometimes I believe the ones who are just mean, drunk, drug using, jobless creeps are NOT sociopaths. They are just that…LOSERS. But when someone is soooo charming and slick and CONVINCING…THAT my darlings is a spath. People really do need to learn the difference. I agree.
The one I dated was the kindest gentlest most ordinary looking guy. He dressed normally and didn’t have the sociopathic stare. He fooled all my friends who thought he was a great guy for me. Never in a million years would I have pegged him for a sociopath. If I showed you guys the pictures, with his jeans and football jersey and his shaved head from the military, and his sincere looking eyes, you would think he was the guy next door. Honestly, it was quite a good facade. If it wasn’t for all the broken promises and pathological lies, he would be the sweetest and kindest person.
Star,
I met one like that recently. Young, handsome, sincere looking, with puppy dog eyes. But in my gut, I had the strangest feeling that I was looking at my brother. Even though this kid was black and my brother is not, he reminded me of him when he was that age. And then all kinds of information clued me in to the kid being a true and pure spath.
My brother also has the ability to put on that “sincere” expression. I swear they must practice it in the mirror. He’s not so good looking now, but for most of his life girls and women couldn’t resist him. My girl friends would become nervous around him because he was so magnetic. He was very aware of it and would often brag to me about it. But then he said, “that’s before they start talking to me. Then they get scared and run away.”
I’m not sure what that dynamic is like because I’ve never observed it. (the part when they run away).
Anyway, I’m beginning to think that the “magnetism” is not magnetism at all, but the beginning of a trauma bond. If a guy is good looking but your gut is giving you signals of nervousness, you assume it’s because they are attractive. But I think the truth is that we are picking up on their predatory intent in our guts and misinterpreting it.
Sky wrote: “Anyway, I’m beginning to think that the “magnetism” is not magnetism at all, but the beginning of a trauma bond. If a guy is good looking but your gut is giving you signals of nervousness, you assume it’s because they are attractive. But I think the truth is that we are picking up on their predatory intent in our guts and misinterpreting it.”
That I completely agree with!
skylar:
I like your last paragraph. I guess that is what I was picking up on? Because I was an absolute nervous wreck the whole time I was around him, but I thought it was only because I was so into him and I didn’t want to do anything to scare him away so I was super nervous all the time.
Louise
I was too. Heart pounding nervous. HEART pounding.
Baboom. Baboom.
That’s not normal.
Katy,
The stare is not just staring or blinking. The ex-spath had the stare, the first time he truly started to target me. He studied me for several minutes on end with a sly smile. His whole focus was on me, though he was at the other end of a long table filled with people. I became aware of it, and I made eye-contact, and expected him to look away slowly after that. But that didn’t happen. It was a stare I had never experienced in such a way before; intent, determined and yet neutral. I did mistakenly took it as a compliment, but at the same time I noted that no other man had ever started at me like that before. And I’ve been ogled and sized up before plenty.
I watch and observe people too, always have… I enjoy watching other people. It gives me a sense of peace and pleasure. But I know I would not stare non-stop at a person for minutes. If they were to realize I was watching and look at me, I would smile and then look away again, out of respect for their privacy. A sociopath doesn’t care about privacy boundaries nor has shame of being caught staring at you. So they’ll keep on staring even after eye contact was made. That is what the predator stare is for me.
darwinsmom:
Me, too. I never before or never since experienced that type of stare. Never. It is without a doubt predatory and sadistic. No boundaries whatsoever. NONE. But at the time, I mistook it for attraction and lust. Guess what? His children both have it, too. So creepy and sad at the same time.
Athena:
No, it’s not normal…not normal at all. Our hearts should not be beating out of our chests like that. I don’t know why I didn’t stop and question myself as to why it seemed so NOT right! But I know now…I know if I feel like that again, something is wrong.
Sky,
I’m not sure if you can generalize the nervousness thing as being related to spaths. I wasn’t the least bit nervous around the one I dated. In fact, I felt like he was “home”. I felt so comfortable with him. Within just a few dates, we would drive together and not have to say a word. It was like being with a good friend.
On the other hand, I’ve been nervous around men in positions of authority in my department. It’s not because they’re spaths but because of my issues with men in general and feelings of not being worthy around them (this has changed considerably in the last few years for me, and the anxiety is gone).
Similarly, I used to be anxious around my rock star neighbor that I had a crush on for two years. Now we are the best of friends and I regard him like a brother. There is no more nervousness.
I think nervousness can have different sources for different people, but my point is that it’s not always the sign of being around a spath. When I started to suspect something was wrong with the spath I was dating, I didn’t feel nervous. I just felt this very dark feeling in my gut that said to me…..”No, couldn’t be……could he be lying? No, that would just be too bizarre……but the stories don’t add up. Wow, if he’s lying, that’s really really sick and twisted.” Once I knew what he was and started reading about spaths, and especially after I turned him in to the army, THEN I felt some fear.