Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Tyler17.”
My wife is the victim in every situation through her entire life. Even when someone jumped in front of the train I was driving, she was the victim because I changed.
She is the victim because to her porn is everywhere, and unless I look away, I condone it. My daughter bought the remake of the movie Point Break and the family watched it on night when I was at work. On my next off day she suggested we all watch it, but was angry with me and withheld her love (again) because she should not be expected to remember if a movie has porn, as I am responsible for averting my eyes. This pissed me off because I no longer have a safe space.
She doesn’t work. Told my sister-in-law that she shouldn’t have to. She just wants to be a Mom. When we needed extra income, she filled up her time by becoming a director at her church, an the executive with her women’s group, an official softball umpire, and plays ladies/ co-ed softball.
When I was in training for the subway driver job, the course was intense. Each night there was two to three hours of homework. The pre-course training guides all stated this was time intensive, and that if your family could not function without your assistance then this job was not right for you. She took the kids to stay at her mother’s house across the country. Coming back she took pictures of the house, astounded that it wasn’t packed up, and that there was no way a company could expect its’ workers families to understand.
She wanted to go to Morocco, Africa because her new age spirituality/conspiracy group was meeting there for a spiritual event in the desert. She virtually begged me to go. It was very expensive and we needed a loan and another credit card with a high limit. Plus I had to get the kids health cards/passports as she was unable to deal with the bureaucracy of the government. Upon arrival back, she was a tyrant claiming that the house was not ready to sell, despite me hiring multiple people to get stuff packed and done. She said nothing was up to her standards. Was extra mean to me for that for a very long time.
I’ve got 18 years of examples. In the middle of an unknown relationship status. She calls me the narcissistic male. Her entire family shuns her as they know her quite well. Don’t know where we will end up, but I’m wrong and it’s all my fault.
Another twist on love scams: Notices from the “Bureau of Customs”
when you finally get fed up, tired of being blamed for the other person’s problems, YOU will leave. this is what I lived with, for 29 years! Everything, I mean everything, was MY fault, whether I had anything to do with it or not. I was his ‘scapegoat’for HIS mistakes, his goofs, his bad financial dealings, his fights with family, friends and neighbors. when I finally did leave, he had to deal with life on his own, without his ‘slave’ and life got more rough for him. of course, I was blamed for that, too. How dare I left him? enough was enough..it will be for YOU too.