By | July 15, 2017 4 Comments

Pawns: How psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists view their kids

Raised by narcissistPsychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists are incapable of love — even for their own children. According to Business Insider, Perpetua Neo, a psychologist who specializes in these personality disorders, says:

“Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths do not have a sense of empathy. They do not and will not develop a sense of empathy, so they can never really love anyone.”

Neo says that some of her clients were told by their disordered parents that, “The only reason I had you was so you could take care of me for the rest of your life.”

Why psychopaths cannot love their own children, according to a psychologist, on

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Hope Springs

OR…they simply have children to appear like a good person.

I mean, if you have kids, you MUST be a normal loving good person…right? People who have kids are ‘great’ people…right?

They have children to keep up appearances. They have children because the children can’t get away from them like everyone else can and does.

The children are trapped until they reach an age when they can get away.


I read this article awhile back and thought check, check, check. My mother is low grade narcissist. She had me because she wanted to have sex, and wasn’t bothered to protect herself. Getting pregnant was an afterthought, something to do to escape boredom.

My mother is not a very intelligent narcissist, so her antics aren’t all that sophisticated. She even seems innocent in some ways, so oblivious to her lack of skills and insight I feel compassion for her.

This article is pretty over simplified, and doesn’t even come close to describing how many ways an N parent can use their children. Flip flopping to serve the N parents needs, in ‘the moment’. Everything with my mother was/is to serve her in that particular moment.

What stood out to me was how I learned boundarylessness. No boundaries were shown to me as a child. I didn’t know what they were, and was even punished for exhibiting them. I grew up thinking that to be a good person was to have ZERO boundaries, and to always think of others first.

This set me up for so many exploitative relationships! I was a sitting duck. Of course, this meant I also wasn’t good at respecting other ‘healthy’ folks boundaries either. I just didn’t understand the whold concept and process. So I was pretty much stuck hanging out with other walking wounded, or straight up disordered people.

Took me a looooooong time to understand this and apply my own boundaries, and respect others. This changed my life.

Going no contact is the ultimate practice of having boundaries. It gives one time to understand the freedom and necessity of having them. It provided me the opportunity to observe and honor other people’s boundaries, and develop truly loving and mutual relationships.


You just totally described me & my upbringing. It was only after being married to a N, divorcing him & taking up with a sociopath and being tossed out like a used condom that I started the long road to recovery. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and learning to set and respect boundaries was a very difficult concept for me.


Yep, I get it. Took me about 6-7 relationships, most very short term, to get it. However, that took up about 45 years of my life! Good to know old dogs CAN learn new tricks. We are living proof.

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