Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist

A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It’s an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

Read How to spot a narcissist, on

Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason’s ideas before—I don’t agree with them. You can read it here:

Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond

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68 Comments on "Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist"

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Hi Ox Drover…I was always reading here, every now and again it would dawn on me i was on borrowed time, that this was the calm before the storm..but untill the last bout he was not as bad…it took ages to trust him again..and untill I dd he was a normal husband, he would not rage over nothing, he wouldnt sulk for days…and then the email form the girl..he went wild.And I knew that it was going to be as it was and the niceness was only an end to a means.
My health is better, I dont smoke incessantly, mentally Im stronger..and wiser…sadly it was at a cost, to em, but worst still the girls..
Ive had councelling for my own demons and have spoken of things form my childhood that I had never told a soul…and I feel better for it, a weight off my soul and mind…
Yes, the father is as you said, only last week he belted my 85 yr old mother..he has bowel cancer and far from making him a nicer person he is still a pig.
I look at my mother and know, i had a lucky escape, cos I would be still living her life, being hit in your 80s is about as bad as it can get.
I dont think of him all the time like I used to..I do occasionally,but I pull another file.. I thinks of the real Kevin..not the act..the one with an agenda. I get lonely, but it doesnt bother me so much he will move on and find another woman, cos I know it wont be long before she is as stunned and bewildered as I was the first time he displayed his callous disregard for me. I know what she is going to be getting and how she will live..I dont envy her.

Dear Mugged off again,

I am glad that you are getting therapy and I think you should get your daughter into therapy as soon as possible. Hopefully, it will help her find that violence is not the way to accomplish what you want.

I am also glad that you are away from your X, I remember some of the horrible stories you told about him and how he acted around your girls.

You are NOT alone, my dear! Keep on reading and learning and recovering! It is the only way to heal. I’m glad that you got child services involved as well, hopefully they can help you and your girls.

I thought that Dark Triad thing was a whole pile of shit. It didn’t sing to me at all. I’m not even going to spend the time trying to find nuggets of truth in that. There are better things to read.


I hope you stay NC and I hope you stay here on LF. He won’t change.


OX Drover, my daughter is having councellling arranged by the school…I think she is sociopathic but the councellors dont like those labels and think Im being OTT&paranoid.of course I know where the blame for her character lies..and its not him,,its me, I knew in my heart, and I had been warned here and by others, I chose to continue…to my regret, I lose a lot of sleep about that.
Superkid…yea..defintely, Ive fallen off the wagon twice now..But this time I understand the reason I do.I understand myself more now. I also undertsand him, he is utterly repugnant with no redeeming features at all.
In the end, although I had always craved his love, attention I loathed him touching me. something had died that had never died before…my pathetic desire to be loved by him to the point of humiliating myself..he knew this..he often would say eh could tell I didnt love him or want him as I did…and he was right, but I would say he was wrong…just to keep the peace.

You know what trait pisses me most/The gaslighting…At first I used to fall for the crap, I actually thought maybe I was mad and had been the one to kick it off…I used to try and please him and creep in to his good books, which only made the situation worse…cos he then expected my compliance and would act out worse to get it..
He never ever thought I would turn off, that I would be the one to end it…and even now he thinks he will get back in…my fault again.why wouldnt he think it?
The best thing I ever read here was ‘ past behaviour is a good indicator of future behaviour…oh hindsight is a wonderful thing!

I’m sorry for your pain but glad you are getting better.

It’s true that past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. That’s why spaths always say, “that’s in the past. Why do you always have to bring up the past?”

They know it’s true too.

So when we stop behaving like we used to, because we finally grow up, they don’t get it. Since they never change, they can’t stand the fact that we can change. That’s enrages them and makes them dangerous. Be careful.


oh muldoon…your posts just punched me in the heart. please please please stay away from him.

muldoon – I would think most of us understand why you went back..but you are free again please take care of yourself..get him out of your life, he is a cancer that will slowly destroy you…

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