Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist

A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It’s an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com.

Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason’s ideas before—I don’t agree with them. You can read it here:

Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond

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68 Comments on "Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist"

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Dear Hope4,

I am so happy for you that you ha ve made so much progress. (((hugs))))

Dear Oxy,

Thanks soooo much, it’s liberating! It’s hard to think about when I was in the muck and trying to get out. I’m just thankful that I’m in a better place. Still have so many questions and I have found a good therapist to help out when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Trying to validate myself most of the time!

I hope you have got some rain this season! Oh, and I’m glad that you’re sleeping now (with some help) and have a healthy diet. Did your diet help with celulite because I’ll start up on it too!!

Dear Hope4,

I don’t have “cellulite” just FAT—but yes, the diet is helping with the weight problem and I’m back on the “band wagon” about the calories…and have lost another pound or two….over all doing better, but this hot weather has been miserable.

We got about a half inch of rain late this afternoon, and we sure needed it…husband’s Grandkids and great-grandkids are on the way back to Virginia…good to see them come, and good to see them go! LOL They were darling though 3 and 5.

Dear Oxy,

That sounds wonderful, drama free and totally normal. AAhhhh, what a fabulous thing, having grandkids over and talking about the weather and diets, so much better than spaths.

I have the U.S. drought monitor on my favorites and always think about you because last year was so horrible but now it looks like Texas has it worse off.

Hello all, some may recall me as a foolish woman formerly muldoon, my story went from bad to worse after I stupidly took the monster back, for a while he was cool…but as soon as I relaxed, it started up again…as always it gradually got worse, peaking when he totally blew his top when HE WAS CAUGHT emailing a girl…being confronted resulted in me being punched in the face three times and spat at 4, proper phlegm in the face, the last one hit my 7 yr old when she was on my lap…he then blamed me for that and refused to apologise to her, in fact cos she was crying he threatened to not take her on a planned swimming outing!!! he then done the usual sulk for days…we moved home a few mths ago and in preparation I didnt have him sign the lease, so the house is solely in my name, I then contacted social services and gave them a recording of the baby…the 7 yr old who I still call baby.He was totally oblivious to her distress and even on being begged to stop he carried on.All on video that he was unaware of being recorded..A week later when he was calm and amiable I told im to go…..and I refused any contact other than a solicitor, he still knocks, asking for a drink of water and such like..he then abuses me some for kicking him out..he even accused me of bullying him and described MY life with him as if I was him and he was me, all the things he done and does, he says I do…madness, situation is ..I take valium for my nerves…I couldnt have him back of I wanted to, which presently I dont..all the family now have seen the video of the abuse…they have seen the missing 4 teeth, the best part is. even if I got weak, the social services will atke the girls…so I have in effect made it impossible cos I wont lose my kids for anyone. I have to park my car a mile form the house cos he will smash it up..and I have 999 on speed dial.
Bad news is, my 15 yr old is now assaulting me if I dont give her what she wants, she has no empathy at all..She is a heller in school too…exactly like him .she tried to kill me the other day, took the two girls to pull her off…she was strangling me…just as she had seen him do many times before.
saying that, she has improved some what since he has been gone…which is a month…

Dear Muldoon, mugged off again,

I thought about you from time to time when you “disappeared” off LF and I was pretty sure you had gone back to him again, or let him come home, that is.

Your situation is grim, but only YOU can make it better….you know the drill, NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT, NOOOOOOO CONTACT!

You can’t fix his abusing ways, but you can fix your ability to say NO to people who try to abuse you, and that includes your daughter. Get her some help from social services, even in-patient placing if necessary. You and the little ones must stay SAFE above all.

If I remember correctly you come from a home where your father was abusive as well so now you must learn to model a HEALTHY LIFE and healthy boundaries for your children so that the CYCLE OF ABUSE will STOP with you, that there will never again be abuse in their lives that they think is the “way things are.”

God bless and give you strength this time, Muldoon! Glad you are back at LF.

Hi Ox Drover…I was always reading here, every now and again it would dawn on me i was on borrowed time, that this was the calm before the storm..but untill the last bout he was not as bad…it took ages to trust him again..and untill I dd he was a normal husband, he would not rage over nothing, he wouldnt sulk for days…and then the email form the girl..he went wild.And I knew that it was going to be as it was and the niceness was only an end to a means.
My health is better, I dont smoke incessantly, mentally Im stronger..and wiser…sadly it was at a cost, to em, but worst still the girls..
Ive had councelling for my own demons and have spoken of things form my childhood that I had never told a soul…and I feel better for it, a weight off my soul and mind…
Yes, the father is as you said, only last week he belted my 85 yr old mother..he has bowel cancer and far from making him a nicer person he is still a pig.
I look at my mother and know, i had a lucky escape, cos I would be still living her life, being hit in your 80s is about as bad as it can get.
I dont think of him all the time like I used to..I do occasionally,but I pull another file.. I thinks of the real Kevin..not the act..the one with an agenda. I get lonely, but it doesnt bother me so much he will move on and find another woman, cos I know it wont be long before she is as stunned and bewildered as I was the first time he displayed his callous disregard for me. I know what she is going to be getting and how she will live..I dont envy her.

Dear Mugged off again,

I am glad that you are getting therapy and I think you should get your daughter into therapy as soon as possible. Hopefully, it will help her find that violence is not the way to accomplish what you want.

I am also glad that you are away from your X, I remember some of the horrible stories you told about him and how he acted around your girls.

You are NOT alone, my dear! Keep on reading and learning and recovering! It is the only way to heal. I’m glad that you got child services involved as well, hopefully they can help you and your girls.

I thought that Dark Triad thing was a whole pile of shit. It didn’t sing to me at all. I’m not even going to spend the time trying to find nuggets of truth in that. There are better things to read.


I hope you stay NC and I hope you stay here on LF. He won’t change.



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