By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Psychopaths sometimes don’t know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea’s soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids.
The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines.
I have recently found other articles about the “stories” of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-II, that made me laugh out loud. In one article, he supposedly played his first round of golf and scored a 38, including five holes-in-one.
One of the things I have noticed about many psychopaths, and others who frequently lie, is that their lies are so “off the wall” that no one over three years old would believe a word of them. They will “lie when the truth will fit better” is a saying I’ve heard all my life. This seems to be especially true with pathological liars and psychopaths.
Dr. Robert Hare, well-known psychopathy researcher, says that psychopaths have difficulty realizing that their lies are unbelievable, even when the evidence that they are untrue is literally in front of them. In some way, the two sides of their brains can’t connect the evidence in front of their eyes.
An example of this are the lies told by Casey Anthony when she led the police to the place she supposedly worked, even going to a cubical, when she knew that she didn’t work for that company. She also lied about leaving her daughter with “Zanny the Nanny,” when such a person didn’t exist. Anthony even led the police to the door of the empty apartment with the police in tow.
Not all liars are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are liars. Liars signal that they are not to be trusted. But if you hear a lie that is so outrageous that it makes you laugh out loud, or have the feeling that the person telling it must be “crazy—”look out! You very well may be dealing with a psychopath.
Duped, you’re an inspiration. Yay for you!
Elizabeth, where are you? I’m not sure what’s happened. How can I help?
SK
(((EB))) So sorry Honey. Take this time FOR YOU and don’t think about anything other than YOU right now. Put that ‘big girl’ face on and pull up them drawers…you are going on a new adventure!!!
I know that may not sound so ‘exciting’ right this moment, EB, but just stop and think of all the possibilities.
THEN: You have all us rooting for you and you KNOW we do!
I am so proud of you! I just KNOW you are destined for wonderful things. You just have to keep believing that because it’s true.
My love, thoughts and prayers are with you….
DUPED
(((Sweet Shalom)))
So nice of you to share your Washington Apple cocktails with me! 🙂 Thanks for celebrating this auspicious occasion! I could celebrate no where else than amongst my soul-compadres`!
Thanks Shalom for all your wishes and hugs…
Right back at ya with LOTS OF LOVE!
DUPED
(((thanks candy)))) we have cocoa for you at the party! 😉 xxoo
ALL OF YOU ARE INSPIRATIONS
Lizzy:
Yeah, look at the bright side…you needed a job and now you have one, yeah?? So look at that as a good thing.
My ex was also, at times, a terrible liar. It was almost hard to keep a straight face because there were times both his friends and I knew that my ex-socio was bold-faced lying.
I can remember having to carry along, pretend to believe the lies he would tell, his reasons for doing things, etc… as if he was laying the ground rules for the game we were playing.
The rules were the outlines of the lie, whatever people it involved, situation, and desired or undesired outcomes, etc. I had to pretend to believe in the lie, because he would not accept the truth – the truth would repell him further into either anger or abandoning me. Anger was the best tool, because it kept me docile.
On another note, it’s sad to see these people chase their disorder into lie after lie.
QUOTE PUREWATER:
I had to pretend to believe in the lie, because he would not accept the truth ”“ the truth would repell him further into either anger or abandoning me. Anger was the best tool, because it kept me docile.
Purewater, that is the thing we feel forced into accepting the abuse in order to maintain the “relation-shit” to keep them from abandoning us or becoming angry.
Now, we know that we do NOT have to endure abuse of any kind or pretend to believe lies, because now we know the person doing them does NOT LOVE US….and is NOT GOOD FOR US….and the relationship is not good for us. We are Now FREE to stop “pretending.”
Amen to that, Ox.
Giving up the lie was so important. The “relation-shit” with the sociopath caused me to radically redefine all of my relationships and take the TRUTH.
No more pretending that love is there, when it is not. No more making excuses and rationalizing abuse and bad behavior. And, thankfully, no more uneven distribution of responsibility (like me taking all responsibility) for other’s bad behavior.
The truth is scary at times, but the truth is more valuable than anything. And, I want to live in that vs. the alternative.
Purewater: that’s exactly what I did. He’d tell me to stop with the accusations if I didn’t want to lose him. ‘Every girlfriend I’ve ever had always thinks I’m cheating, that shit pushes me away. Don’t lose me over this.’ Don’t lose him? If I want to keep him, I must play dumb? Hindsight is definitely 20/20. Every girlfriend accused him, because he IS in fact a cheater and liar. I can’t get him out of my thoughts, my dreams, my day. everything I’ve seen and done has been a trigger this week. He’d tell me if I didn’t learn to trust him, he’d leave me. Everything he’s ever said all makes sense. The exes that sabotaged the relationship, the insecurities, the gold diggers. Everything was reversed. He was the one with these issues.