By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Psychopaths sometimes don’t know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea’s soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids.
The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines.
I have recently found other articles about the “stories” of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-II, that made me laugh out loud. In one article, he supposedly played his first round of golf and scored a 38, including five holes-in-one.
One of the things I have noticed about many psychopaths, and others who frequently lie, is that their lies are so “off the wall” that no one over three years old would believe a word of them. They will “lie when the truth will fit better” is a saying I’ve heard all my life. This seems to be especially true with pathological liars and psychopaths.
Dr. Robert Hare, well-known psychopathy researcher, says that psychopaths have difficulty realizing that their lies are unbelievable, even when the evidence that they are untrue is literally in front of them. In some way, the two sides of their brains can’t connect the evidence in front of their eyes.
An example of this are the lies told by Casey Anthony when she led the police to the place she supposedly worked, even going to a cubical, when she knew that she didn’t work for that company. She also lied about leaving her daughter with “Zanny the Nanny,” when such a person didn’t exist. Anthony even led the police to the door of the empty apartment with the police in tow.
Not all liars are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are liars. Liars signal that they are not to be trusted. But if you hear a lie that is so outrageous that it makes you laugh out loud, or have the feeling that the person telling it must be “crazy—”look out! You very well may be dealing with a psychopath.
Louise
BBE and moveingon:
I am convinced now after reading this that my X spath growing up in Liverpool really had something to do with the way he turned out. I think the genes were already there, but growing up and living there did him in. He was born in 1967 so it was prime time. I thought Manchester was much nicer though, but apparently not. Wow. I know he did have an expensive house in Manchester, but I think he sold it now.
Thanks for the info moveingon!!!
Louise
BBE:
I wonder if my X spath’s dad was raised in public housing? Or his mum??? Yikes.
I know the spath himself was not because apparently his mum just moved a few years ago from the “house” he grew up in.
behind_blue_eyes
Moveingon;
I guess you would not be surprised to learn some of my x-spath’s favorite porn involves gay scallies and skinheads. Having never been to Liverpool, I did not know it was so bad.
Whilst sometimes I need to be hit hard in the head twice before I learn my lesson (i.e. stock trading) I do learn. For example, last year I was planning a trip to the UK, so I went online to try to make some friends and went to one of the few gay sites that is not overtly sexual.
There I was messaged by a guy who I first thought was the x-spath! Looked just like him, about the same age, height, weight, general description. At first, I took a liking to this guy because we actually had similar tastes in music and he had a big desire to visit New York, my city.
But, as I talked to him and saw some of his posts, more and more I saw that same “charming but overall cold” demeanor, lack of any relationship history, lack of drive to better himself, generally negative attitude and I kept distance. This guy was also from Liverpool.
What happened to John, Paul, George and Ringo? They seem the only Liverpool guys who are not sociopaths, lol…
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
Sociopathic fathers put their sons at risk for becoming a sociopath, either due to genetic factors, epigenetic factors, sociological factors or more likely, a combination of the three.
Louise
BBE:
Interesting about that other Liverpool guy you encountered online. That is something…sounds like my X spath in his demeanor…very charming, but an underlying melancholy…lack of drive (even though he works all the time)…my impression was that he only went to college because in the UK it was free and he did not go right out of high school so that tells me that he was most likey drifting and then finally decided to go to college. And wouldn’t you know it…he ends up having an executive position at a very large and respected company after working his way up! Imagine that??? He isn’t really negative, but he’s not extremely positive either. He is fun though! Very fun! Just does and says things on a whim.
I keep wondering now if his dad was an spath? But from what I heard, it sounds like his mum was and his dad was the peacekeeper.
Oh, and not so sure about John Lennon…he may have been an spath…hard to tell…
behind_blue_eyes
Louise;
I was impressed that my x-spath went to a good high school (same as Lennon) and a good University and has a nice white collar managerial job in digital marketing for a well-known retailer. And gave it up to become a flight attendant.
Yes, he was fun, bit still with an overall cold and negative demeanor. Gotta run…
Louise
BBE:
I am not sure what high school mine went to, but I do know the name of the college and HE said it wasn’t that great of a college.
So interesting…their personalities sound a lot alike…I am definitely convinced without a doubt it is from them growing up there…a cultural thing. Hmmmmm.
I gotta run also. Be back tonight.
KatyDid
TB and those curious about the McCanns.
There are two issues, one that was TB’s point, and then MY bone of contention which was triggered by TB’s comments.
The McCanns, for whatever reason, made a COLOSSAL error in judgment. When they left their daughter vulnerable and alone, she disappeared. The ensuing drama captured the hearts of Europe.
The McCann’s felt safe. Their daughter slept like a log. Others did the same, leaving their sleeping children and gathering for drinks.
I don’t defend what they did. I am saying ALL parents make all kinds of mistakes and by the grace of God, our children survive. I made my mistakes too. I left my daughter in the care of a babysitter. That decision nearly ended in her death.
I’ve left my sleeping daughter to use the laundryroom in a hotel and at my apartment. I let her ride her bicycle without a helmet. I let her walk to school. I let her eat raw cookie dough. I let her sell lemonade on main street while I left her alone to go back and get more chocolate chip cookies to sell. I let her trick or treat with another little girl – no parents. I MARRIED a man who adopted her… who mindfkd her mom and her for YEARS.
For those with British ties, tell me what you think of the British press? They usually sell news in tabloid format? Always tell the truth do they? Don’t ever present facts a certain way so the reader infers something NOT said? Press Never ambush a grieving parent for a salacious headline? YOu believe the press NEVER wrote a headline to sell a paper?
The NEWS is NOT the place to look for the truth.
MY ISSUE is with spreading gossip. Any victims of character assassination here on LF? Anyone have someone decide their thoughts based on what someone interpreted from the look on your face, and those thoughts were used to harm and destroy you? It’s GOSSIP. It’s MEAN. It destroys lives. If you wouldn’t want to have gossip be used against YOU, then give people their dignity.
FOLLOWING MY OWN ADVICE I removed my paragraph with McCann info. I did not put them down or condemn them as others have but I was sharing their personal info and I have no right to do that. It’s STILL GOSSIP.
There is a reason why the 10 commandments includes one about gossip. Don’t you all think we have a HUGE amount of carp to process when we KNOW the facts? I prefer to focus on healing and not arguing about gossip esp when the source is the British press.
candy
BIG TRIGGER here.
I went out tonight and was told (by someone that had ACTUALLY seen him) that spath has moved just 20 miles down the road. The source has told me where he’s working and what he’s doing for work.
Only last week I was told that he was the side of the country and I felt safe.
Now I’m having a wobble because he is only a 30 min drive away. Way too close for comfort.
Back_from_the_edge
My sp lives 8 hours from me so I know the dreaded feeling you are having candy. BUT: Better 8 hours than in the same town!!!! Yikes. You poor thing. Don’t pay it any attention. Just stay away from it. You don’t even need to know things about it and you should tell your ‘sources’ that you don’t care and don’t want to hear anything about it anymore.
Be safe with yourself, candy.
Love ~ Duped