By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Psychopaths sometimes don’t know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea’s soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids.
The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines.
I have recently found other articles about the “stories” of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-II, that made me laugh out loud. In one article, he supposedly played his first round of golf and scored a 38, including five holes-in-one.
One of the things I have noticed about many psychopaths, and others who frequently lie, is that their lies are so “off the wall” that no one over three years old would believe a word of them. They will “lie when the truth will fit better” is a saying I’ve heard all my life. This seems to be especially true with pathological liars and psychopaths.
Dr. Robert Hare, well-known psychopathy researcher, says that psychopaths have difficulty realizing that their lies are unbelievable, even when the evidence that they are untrue is literally in front of them. In some way, the two sides of their brains can’t connect the evidence in front of their eyes.
An example of this are the lies told by Casey Anthony when she led the police to the place she supposedly worked, even going to a cubical, when she knew that she didn’t work for that company. She also lied about leaving her daughter with “Zanny the Nanny,” when such a person didn’t exist. Anthony even led the police to the door of the empty apartment with the police in tow.
Not all liars are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are liars. Liars signal that they are not to be trusted. But if you hear a lie that is so outrageous that it makes you laugh out loud, or have the feeling that the person telling it must be “crazy—”look out! You very well may be dealing with a psychopath.
Louise- I love the word triangulate. You hit he nail on the head. I looked it up and yup.
Duped- is our ex still trying to stay in contact? Does he know you know who he is? I told mine I knew because I didn’t want the temptation anymore. I figured if he knew I knew he would stay as far away as possible. no?
The triangulate thing has me thinking back to the beginning. The ex would tell me explicate details about 2 of his friends and their encounters with hookers. None were intercourse bet everything else. After about 6 months of hearing about it all the time the stories stopped. I wont say the thought didn’t cross my mind at the time but I didn’t entertain it. Do you really think these were his experiences. That makes me sick. What if I’m completely wrong about him. What if I’m analyzing the the incidences wrong. Why do I question myself.
Yes, Constantine: AT LEAST EIGHT! 🙂
More like about 15, over here, near as I can count; I lost track after the 8th one. Thanks, Constantine. xxoo Been quiet, real quiet….I LIKE IT!
idiot: my x is always trying to contact me. Even in the midst of NC. It’s alright. Oh IT DEFINITELY KNOWS “I” know “who” it is. The only way MINE ever CONCEIVABLY gets the notion to NOT bother me is the fact that it WILL go to jail if it does not stop. Period. THAT is the ONLY reason it stays away from me, idiot….my x has tried to murder me on more than one occasion. THAT is what keeps IT away from me. IT doesn’t care if I know ‘who’ it is or not. All IT cares about is achieving whatever it wants, however it wants and that is unacceptable to me. Once I figured it all out, oh definitely YES…down the road, you demon! No more of those false snickers; all the lies and deceptions. I wouldn’t make the mistake of trusting THAT THING ever again. TRUST ME ON THIS.
My x has been my stalker for almost five years. I have attempted to get away SIX TIMES since this past November, idiot. It isn’t cute nor endearing or anything else: it is STALKING and HARASSMENT. NC never seems to last long with IT…where “I” haven’t spoken a peep to it in 3 months, it continues with it’s trying to contact me even thought it has been told to STOP IT.
So, yeah, the ex is still trying to stay in contact. Obsessed is more the appropriate word. Not obsessed with ‘loving’ me, though, there is a HUGE difference between someone stalking you out of cuteness and romance AND/OR someone wishing you ‘ill-well’.
Blessings Constantine ~ xxoo
idiot: I wish you well. Have a happy day; okay?
DEFINITELY DUPED NO MORE
Medical appointment this morning regarding the ticker.
I hope you all will have a decent day today and remember to just STOP and get out and do something NICE and REWARDING for yourself, JUST ONCE TODAY, by making yourself FORGET about the STUPID SPATH’S for just a couple hours. OKAY? Just try it. The more we discipline ourselves, the easier it will be to get through this and we ALL will eventually get through this. You have to really WORK AT IT but it can be done.
Happy day all you Lovies!
Duped No More
Today marks the one week mark of me finding out HE has been playing me all along. It was only 4 days ago that I started looking into his behaviors and patterns only to discover what he truly is. I spoke of my feelings about contacting his wife to try to get her to see the truth as well, and had several of you advise not to do so, that she won’t listen and will only think I’m trying to break them up so I can have him for myself. I didn’t contact her, but did talk to her father….and man did I find out even more terrible things about this man….turns out he has stolen from just about every employer he has ever worked for and conned his father in law for about $90,000 off a business venture. I told her father what I’ve experienced and he said he’s not surprised at all, and he thanked me for calling him. Turns out his daughter has isolated herself from all of her family ever since marrying this man 8 years ago. I told him what I’ve recently learned about sociapathy and he told me he would try to get his daughter to look at the cold hard facts herself…that way she can make a totally informed decision on what to do. I know she knows he’s made some terrible mistakes…what she doesn’t realize is that no matter how much he begs, pleads, cries for forgiveness and promises that it will never happen again…THAT IT WILL AND IT WON’T EVER STOP. I pray for her and her children.
Perplexed. I would never tell her what I think about him. I would give up no details. The only thing in would say was that I was sorry for my role in her pain and that she will never have to worry about me again. Still not sure if I’ll do it as I dont trust she will keep it from him and I don’t need him contacting my husband now that I have decided to attempt again to make it work. Your thoughts.
Definitely DUPED NO MORE:
Boy, do I EVER understand being triangulated with the OW and he had a wife, too!!!! It was an absolute nightmare because I was so in love with him. It nearly destroyed me. And because the OW is so stupid, she fell right into his trap and therefore made my life miserable. I wasn’t acting on everything the way she was. I had more self control. What horrible memories. But they are fading thank God.
idiot:
All those things that man was telling you about encounters with hookers, but saying it was his friends…I don’t believe it. I really bet it was him and when it stopped after six months it’s because HE stopped for whatever reason. That’s my opinion.
Perplexed and sad:
Well, I am sooo glad you talked to her father and look what you found out!!! Even more horrible things to make you realize to stay away from him!!!! $90,000??? And do you see the way the wife has isolated herself from her family ever since she married him?? Why do you think this is? One of two reasons…either he has made her isolate herself OR it’s because she does NOT want to hear everyone in her family telling her to get away from him so she just stays away from them! Which goes to show even further that if that is the case, she would NOT listen to you when she won’t even listen to her own family!!!!
Louise: OMG you and I have about the same situation! Unbelievable! Simply unbelievable. But, you see, I eventually found out about the OW’s because one by one, after the x wife and I became ‘friendly’, they were crammed in not only my face but the x wifes as well. Oh yes, I know what that was all about. AND WE DONT EVEN LIVE IN THE SAME CITY! The harassment was absolutely horrid. Either he was inciting it by ‘his stories’ to THEM, about me, or he had THEM sucked in and brain washed the same way he had me for five years!
Oh yes, the OW’s can have him; definitely. It’s just a grieving process now. It will find it’s ‘safe spot’ and then I will be able to completely pick up with my life and move on.
The psychopath ain’t long for ANY relationship. It just drifts and drifts and drifts and each subsequent ‘break up’ it blames on everyone and everything else except for IT. I am NOT walking off anymore CLIFFS with it nor I am going to continue tolerating these behaviors from an OBVIOUSLY SICK PERSON. The authorities don’t want to do much about it; THEY don’t want to change…so, the only thing WE CAN DO IS DEFEND AND PROTECT OURSELVES and I am here to tell you that THAT is exactly what I am doing. IN EVERY WAY. Even in my thoughts and my actions. It is soooooooooo over.
*Hugs Louise* On my way to a medical appointment. Let’s see what THIS ONE has to say. 🙂 Talk soon you guys…
Get out there! 🙂
Love ~ Duped No More!