By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Psychopaths sometimes don’t know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea’s soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids.
The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines.
I have recently found other articles about the “stories” of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-II, that made me laugh out loud. In one article, he supposedly played his first round of golf and scored a 38, including five holes-in-one.
One of the things I have noticed about many psychopaths, and others who frequently lie, is that their lies are so “off the wall” that no one over three years old would believe a word of them. They will “lie when the truth will fit better” is a saying I’ve heard all my life. This seems to be especially true with pathological liars and psychopaths.
Dr. Robert Hare, well-known psychopathy researcher, says that psychopaths have difficulty realizing that their lies are unbelievable, even when the evidence that they are untrue is literally in front of them. In some way, the two sides of their brains can’t connect the evidence in front of their eyes.
An example of this are the lies told by Casey Anthony when she led the police to the place she supposedly worked, even going to a cubical, when she knew that she didn’t work for that company. She also lied about leaving her daughter with “Zanny the Nanny,” when such a person didn’t exist. Anthony even led the police to the door of the empty apartment with the police in tow.
Not all liars are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are liars. Liars signal that they are not to be trusted. But if you hear a lie that is so outrageous that it makes you laugh out loud, or have the feeling that the person telling it must be “crazy—”look out! You very well may be dealing with a psychopath.
HA: My x sp told me: “I won’t feel guilty about nor sad about you.” I bet. So, I ask myself, all the time: “Why do “I” feel sad about YOU!?” Perhaps it’s because IT just don’t ‘get it’. That is the difference between us; thank goodness. At least “I” have SOME conscious and feeling.
What she said about her friend reminds me of the attitude “IT” had about me. “IT” had that attitude about everyone. Just a hateful, raging, ranting, ugly, vile, disgusting kind of person. I would call “IT” a curmedgeon but that is being way too nice. More like a possessed soul from the depths of hell is more like it.
It’s alright; I am making it through this storm. “IT” should make the drastic mistake of ever thinking that things between us will ever be any different than they are right this moment. Which is NOTHING. It almost holds no meaning for me now. It is more like a bad addiction that I am fighting and I have never had a problem with those. 😉 Soooooooooooooooo becoming history!!
Yep, they are hard to notice. Most times you don’t know until way after you have fallen into their webs. I think it is absolutely appalling that people like this exist among us. But, such is the way of the world and the evilness overtaking it; isn’t it?
I would assume we shall see an increase in population of these types of personalities and druid people. We need to word up and perhaps go a little out of our way to explain this to our young teenagers so that they are aware. Maybe we could include it along with our little ‘sex talk’…. Just something to think about.
Hope everyone is well and doing alright.
I am grateful you are all here.
Dupedsster
kisses to shalom and hens…
how’s them weiners?? 🙂
Ana
Thanks for your thoughts. I don’t get it either but think it’s too early to make a judgement. If it’s a pattern I’ll have to move on. It’s not realistic to expect to meet someone and instantly become exclusive and inseparable. He might have his own issues, but he feels very different from the nut job – he was way out wacky races from the start! 🙂
Lifegoeson,
Yes, you will have to wait and see what YOU decide about him. Another few dates should tell for sure, don’t you think? Be carefullllllll : )
Dear Duped,
What a nerve he has to even attempt contact with you! What POS! I hope you NEVAH answer him again.. You are toooooo goood for him, for sure. Hang in there cause you are so worth it. Peace, relaxation, healing, yep it’s all for you 🙂
Thanks Ana ~ xxoo
POS is right! More than that.
I don’t plan on EVER speaking to “IT” ever again as long as we both shall live. AMEN. I tried to be the good and decent person and look at the POS I fell into! Amazing. Just amazing.
YOU hang in there too Ana….You are an awesome and amazingly kind person and I appreciate your support so much.
Have a peaceful, restful, healing night, Ana…
Love ~ Duped
Ana,
You’re right, a few dates will let me see what he is really like. I feel I’m incapable of making a rational decision since the nut job blew my life apart. It really affects you for much longer than you ever imagine. It’s three years since I got rid of nut job and this is the first time I’ve had the courage to dip my toe in the dating water. I don’t know if I’m seeing things that aren’t there because I’m so suspicious or if I’m not being cautious enough.
Small steps!
He has done so many things to me over the years; uncaring, vile, disrespectful things, that I just overlooked and it spun out of control to the point where “IT” almost took my life and has threatened it on several occasions. I took the opportunity one more and one last time, to ‘get with it’ for a little visit and I told “IT” exactly what I thought and how I felt and how I am going to react to not only the betrayal but what I feel was attempted murder. OF MYSELF. Of which, when I personally confronted it, tried to pin it on the OW!!!
ahahahaha personally, I think THEY BOTH are guilty and I mean every word I say or I don’t say them.
This last time I saw “IT”, I set down the rules from here on out and I meant NO CONTACT; it every so often persists in trying to contact me because IT IS FINALLY SQUIRMING. The reality is finally starting to sink into it’s head that um, just maybe…duh…”IT” might have messed up good this time!
IT’s first question of me was: “How can you prove it was me?!” Well, let me tell you something Mr. Freud, DNA is 99.9% accurate and I completely and fully intend to use it. SO STAY AWAY FROM ME FOREVER. GO AWAY and DONT COME BACK.
YOU MADE YOUR OWN CHOICES. NOBODY DID THAT BUT YOU.
And, I meant every word. I will NEVER change my mind.
SPATH got dumped; “IT” didn’t dump me…
It’s all about choices.
Love to you all ~ Duped
It was classic: It was at the 3 month interval and it contacted me after I had previously requested NC for the longest time…so, I figured since I had the opportunity to put some closure to this whole nightmare, I would take that opportunity and I chose to ‘visit’ with him for a while. I made the most out of that opportunity and the whole time, I said exactly what I meant, right straight forward, with very little emotion, just as I had been used to getting from “IT”. I said some very bone wretching things and you would have been proud of me, not one foul word did I use. But “IT” knew, beyond any doubt, whatsoever, that I mean exactly what I say and that I am not changing my mind. Not for ANYTHING.
Because I believe that evilness such as this NEEDS TO ANSWER for themselves SOMETIME SOMEHOW SOME WAY. It isn’t fair people such as this can destroy lives and walk away whistling.
I am finding a personal ‘grounding’ with everything that has happened in this 9 years. I am finally starting to find, some explanations that my mind and my heart has been starving for. Now that I have a foothold on reality, I am not giving that up for anything ever again. Least of all for it.
I have said it a million times: “if the skies opened and doves flew, trumpets blared and GOD HIMSELF flew down through the clouds and told me IT WAS OKAY now, I STILL would stay away.”
And I mean it with all of my being.
It was stunned that I dumped it. I threw it off it’s ‘center’. They don’t know how to react when you throw them off like that. “IT” truly thought it had me entwined but it never did. It manufactured all of the deceit and lies our relationship became and was. I will NEVER speak another word to it again as long as I live and if it doesn’t leave me alone, I will put it where it belongs. That’s all there is to it, folks.
*HUGS ALL AROUND*
Dupedster
Duped,
You did it, you did what I dare to dream about, put the spath in it’s place. Ahhh, what a good feeling. They think they can get away with anything. It’s part of their disorder, I believe that they continuously pull the wool over everyones eyes and expect them to believe it. When someone outs them, they are shocked. They think that all the sweet talk and promises will get us back. They are shocked again when that doesn’t work.
Spaths are so used to people believing all their lies (every single sentence seems to have a lie in it), so I really think that they are shocked when we don’t buy it.
Spath used to say that he believed there were evil people in the world. I just read in M. Scott Peck’s book “People of the Lie”, evil people see evil in others but can’t recognize it in themselves. This rings true.
Oh yes, I believe it’s true: evil people see evil in others but not in themselves. Because for them: they want to be the all knowing; all powerful and omnipotent. That is another reason why “IT” used to mock my faith. The more I delve into the reasonings behind all of this, the more I am starting to feel trapped into that old epic of good v. evil. I am not giving up. I just am not.
It’s TIT FOR TAT in this life once you try to harm me without reason. I feel that all is fair in love and war but I won’t bite my nose off to spite my face either. 🙂
Oh yes, spath has been spathed. I learned from the best how to cut IT off at the legs. “IT” taught me what IT hates and what I did to it, it hates. NO CONTACT. It can try contacting me all it wants to but it is NEVER going to get another response from me. NEVER AGAIN. It can just ‘be’ wherever it is and wonder if I am still alive or not. As soon as I die, “IT”S hell begins. And that’s all there is to it.
Yes, hopeforjoy, I completely understand you.
My x sp will NEVER forget me and I made sure of it, while at the same time finding resolution allowing me to move on with my life……WITHOUT IT!!!! It hasn’t come ‘easy’, letting go…it has been a struggle for the past five years which almost ended my life on more than one occasion. I just don’t think we are suppose to sacrifice ourselves for the promise of ‘love’ nor ‘sticking it out’ with someone. I just don’t believe that much care and concern is expected of us. 😉
Duped