By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Psychopaths sometimes don’t know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea’s soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids.
The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines.
I have recently found other articles about the “stories” of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-II, that made me laugh out loud. In one article, he supposedly played his first round of golf and scored a 38, including five holes-in-one.
One of the things I have noticed about many psychopaths, and others who frequently lie, is that their lies are so “off the wall” that no one over three years old would believe a word of them. They will “lie when the truth will fit better” is a saying I’ve heard all my life. This seems to be especially true with pathological liars and psychopaths.
Dr. Robert Hare, well-known psychopathy researcher, says that psychopaths have difficulty realizing that their lies are unbelievable, even when the evidence that they are untrue is literally in front of them. In some way, the two sides of their brains can’t connect the evidence in front of their eyes.
An example of this are the lies told by Casey Anthony when she led the police to the place she supposedly worked, even going to a cubical, when she knew that she didn’t work for that company. She also lied about leaving her daughter with “Zanny the Nanny,” when such a person didn’t exist. Anthony even led the police to the door of the empty apartment with the police in tow.
Not all liars are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are liars. Liars signal that they are not to be trusted. But if you hear a lie that is so outrageous that it makes you laugh out loud, or have the feeling that the person telling it must be “crazy—”look out! You very well may be dealing with a psychopath.
Duped I feel like you. I don’t think my spath will ever forget me either being that I confronted him and his disorder. I don’t think anyone else, ex great anyway, had done that in the past. I know it was still considered supply when I did so he responded with a bunch of projection calling me crazy and out of my mind. Ha ha! Too bad being outed doesn’t stop them from returning. I was watching a channel on YouTube about n’s and S’s and one exposed stated them don’t like to lose and are driven to win. That explains them constantly returning. Not only for supply but because IRS all a game. They have to try you. They must see if they still have control or can go back in for the kill.
Yes, it’s all a game to them. They are shocked when you just stop playing the game. They don’t know how to react when you just cut them off and out. At first, mine was becoming violent in threats and words. I have made it stay away from me by involving the law. I believe it’s fear of going to jail keeps it away from me. So at least it has that much sense about itself. Hopefully anyways.
No, being outed doesn’t stop them. But somehow the law does. What is with that? Hmm? They will listen to all the threats and promises from us, in the world, but unless they have some legal meat on them, they won’t stop. I have found the ONLY TIME they stop is when the law is involved. Then, that puts us at risk. I was fortunate enough that I have LOTS of protection so it wouldn’t entertain the notion of coming to my home ever again and I do mean the things I say and it knows I do.
Yes, they have to ‘try you’….they try gaslighting and lovebombing their way back in and it just isn’t going to work this time. NOT ANYMORE. “Supply”…yep, I know all about that ‘supply’…I think everyone he has ever been with has contacted me at one time or another. Some of the stories that have floated my way are just simply unbelievable!!! Just jaw dropping! From complete strangers even! Wow: you wouldn’t believe the trail it has left behind itself…
Oh yes, it’s all about control and they don’t like losing it.
They want us under their spell so they can manipulate us for their own welfare. Not happening ever again. The dupe is over. Nobody is going to take MY LIFE unless I give it up. NOBODY. Especially NOT under the ‘guise of love’. Please! That is so sick. More than sick. Evil.
No, it won’t ever forget me. I was a vital part of it. Like it’s left arm. For the past 9 years. To suddenly have that amputated, in a normal person, you would think IT WOULD STUN THEM INTO SOME SENSE OF SANITY but not this one. I am getting to the point where I truly just don’t care anymore and it’s fading fast in thought and memory. I am willing my brain to erase as much as possible from this horrid memory.
I am going to make this no contact absolutely complete in every possible way I can and I am NEVER going back to that nightmare.
DUPED
Mine hated threats of involving the law as well. He’s on probabtion and every altercation we had I always threatened him after he put his hands on me, this only infuriated him. I don’t think they fear the law but they fear going to jail being isolated, not able to destroy lives. Jail is the best place for them in my opinion.
farwronged – my spath (in case you don’t know the story. i can’t keep track of who may and who may not.) makes up characters, dupes people with them (she did this long before the internet, too. lots of peeps duped by her ‘friends overseas’ who were fake ‘penpals’). then she kills off the characters and takes people through THAT horrible journey. In my case she killed off three i ‘knew’ (and 4 altogether). She resurrected the three. And the main character, the one i cared for CALLED me on what i like to refer to as ‘resurrection day’. I told ‘him’ (fake boy, the spath is a woman) that the only people who would do what he did was a sociopath/ psychopath. the ‘character’ was a sweet character, and true to form he didn’t turn nasty during that conversation, but the vitriol issuing forth from the OTHER characters in the coming days quite aptly made the point that she didn’t like being unmasked – threats of all kinds, some in email , some on public forums. she was REALLY pissed. but funnily enough the word ‘sociopath’ wasn’t mentioned once.
snort. stupid cow.
i haven’t heard from her since that time. (‘cept maybe some of the hacking of my email ;)) i shut down my cell, changed my email, etc. blocked her phone numbers. she is lazy and probably wouldn’t take the time and energy to come here. i think she also has some idea that i might seriously damage her if she did. there is a little law here called ‘trespass to person’, and if she bothered to come this way, i believe it would cover my defending myself by her very presence at my door.
you know, in some way that would be easier – dealing with her at the door, instead of in my head. but i am removing her one step at a time.
Duped;
The only way to hook a sociopath is to dump them before they are done with you. OTOH, when they are done with you, its goodbye, unless of course circumstances change and they have need for you again.
Yes, BBE: You said the only way to HOOK a sociopath. Did you mistake your words there? I thought it was the only way to GET RID OF A SOCIOPATH. 🙂
Oh yes, mine thought it was really in charge until it showed up for our FINAL and ABSOLUTELY LAST visit. I WAS DONE WITH IT and IT’s ROADSHOW. I spent a couple hours telling IT exactly what I thought and how this was going to play out. And, if IT didn’t leave me alone and stay away from me that I would MAKE SURE IT PAYS FOR THE THINGS IT HAS DONE TO ME! I almost died TWICE in less than a year and because of “IT” and the “OW”. It took me a while to figure it out but believe me, once I did, it left me with NO ALTERNATIVE but to do something about it. If “IT” could do this stuff to ME, it could do them to anybody. Anybody that gets sucked into it’s webs of deception will become prey right down to the very definition of the word.
I know what you are saying BBE. I seriously doubt my x “IT” will be bothering me any further but I wouldn’t put it past him nor beyond him as I have heard and seen it before. “IT” never takes ‘get away from me’ as serious for some reason. Every 3 months or so, like clockwork, “IT” disregards my requests and will barge into my life long enough to inspire or inspire those thoughts again. I am learning that the thoughts, themselves, is indeed a part of the ploy THEMSELVES. It’s that ‘bond’…trauma bond. They instilled in us, through their grooming, to ‘feel bad’; continue ‘feeling connected to them’; like we can’t live without them. It’s all part of the rouse. IN US it’s a chemical imbalance between the two halfs of our brains. They have been conditioned to ‘attach’ ourselves to “IT”; breaking that addiction takes strength and fortitude but it can be done and I am slowly breaking and SMASHING that addiction and YOU can too. 🙂
They don’t take no for an answer because I have found that their ‘conscious thoughts’ run a lot slower than their instantaneous reactions. It takes them a while to ‘chew’ on things before it finally sets in and becomes a reality. With my “IT” that is usually, right around 3 months; then suddenly it will get this BRAINSTORMING IDEA or SOME EXCUSE to contact me; something “IT” thinks is so very important. Or, IT will sling a threat at me, just something to stir the pot and cause those thoughts all over again. IT DOESN’T WORK ANYMORE.
The only thing IT is achieving by continuing to stalk me and harass me is adding to the case against it. THAT is how strange they TRULY are. They continue doing things that they KNOW are hurting them and I believe they want to kill themselves and end their lives but are too CHICKEN so they try to inspire others to do it for them. They would much rather DIE than go to jail.
They will do NOTHING to jeopardize their freedom and protect the status of THEIR wicked ways. If WE were altered by our interaction with IT, how altered is IT? Think about that.
It worries that I may be dead and that it’s hell may start without it’s knowledge. That is the only reason it tries to find out about me and/or stalk me. And it SHOULD WORRY. I have the power THIS TIME. “I” do. I am not changing my mind. And, if IT kills me, well, that will only START HELL much quicker, so IT’s hands are tied. IT HAS NO CHOICE NOW BUT ‘TO’ STAY AWAY. Unless of course, it blinks off the edge and goes bazonkers, the way we hear about on television, every so often. But, you see, IT has already been ‘welcomed’ to my vacinity, once before, the sight of which took my breath away. I didn’t even call the cops but there was AT LEAST 10 and more on the way. IT was TOLD to stay out of this town. That if it needed an escort out of town, one could be provided. AND THEY MEANT IT.
I told “IT” to remember that always. It was meant.
No, it may SEEM ‘easier’ dealing with it at the door BUT it truly isn’t because just the very presence taints our souls. I just suddenly refused and stopped PARTICIPATING in the ROADSHOW. That messes them up more than you could know.
Just stop. Cease. Period. Fini`! NOTHING. You want your justification? It’s right there: no contact.
They continue to keep coming back because they FORGOT something with you. Something mean; something left unsaid; something…by the time they get to us, they have forgotten what it was and try relying on their lovebombing to win you back into the herd but IT ISNT HAPPENING THIS TIME.
IT WILL STAY AWAY FROM ME OR I WILL PUT IT IN JAIL FOR A VERY LONG TIME BEFORE MY DEMISE. IT HAS SOME TIME LEFT BEFORE I PASS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT’S SELF IF IT DOES NOT, IT WILL GO TO PRISON AND I PROMISE THIS, WITH MY ENTIRE BEING. NOBODY attempts to harm me and I tolerate it. NOBODY. Especially not after all of the things I have done to help it through this life. Betrayal to the max.
It has no need for me again. It has even said so. It has told me that I should just let all this rest and not push it or it would send someone to murder me. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Well, just bring it the hell on or shut the hell up and get away from me. WHO DOES IT THINK IT IS?
Yah, it’s shook up but it deserves to be. Just the way it had ME shook up for the past 5 years. It needs to SAVOR every single moment of what it has done. IF it even has a conscious at all, which I seriously doubt. Spaths are soul-less creatures that came from the dungeons of hell itself. And truly, NONE OF IT WAS BASED ON ‘LOVE’. It was all about control and jealousy and hatred. I see that now. It was purposely trying to harm me the whole five years. IT doesn’t see it that way because IT doesn’t want to and IT thinks IT should be entitled to do what it pleases at any time and sees nothing wrong with that.
It will continue on and it will go to jail. There is nothing more to say about my decisions. IT is not going to sway me anymore. Can you IMAGINE how discomboobled “IT” must be???
Duped=25; Spath=0
Love for another MONDAY!!!????
Duped
Oh yes, drop them midstream and see what kind of reaction you get! Just be careful and safe. Always keep yourself SAFE around a spath!!!!!! NEVER TRUST THEM!
Duped;
That is what I meant. You can be very nice to them, but if they are done with you, they are done with you. However, if you have the courage to leave them before they are done with you, look out!
The mere mention of my previous bf’s name to the x-spath sent him spinning. “I don’t like that Alex guy…”
Wow duped!!! I was reading your post above about your spath experience. Characters? That’s a wtf for real! Sounds kinda schizoid too. But aren’t all sociopaths a little schizophrenic? That all create characters during mirroring. The nice guy, the bad guy, he’ll whatever or whoever serves his or her purpose in that environment. Thus makes my belly turn. Ewww
They are done with you WHEN THEY SAY; not when YOU say.
I noticed that about “IT”. That is probably why it doesn’t take “NO” for an answer. BUT: I am here to tell you, when “I” say “NO”, I MEAN IT. Oh yes…if you leave them before they are finished with you: LOOK OUT! All kinds of trepidation will come your way. MINE has been trying to drive me completely insane for the past five years and found it very amusing. But you know what I say:
“I STOP BEING THE VICTIM the moment I realize that I am BEING made a victim.” From that point on, all is fair. I return to “IT” in kind, the same as “IT” has given to me.
My x spath didn’t even want to hear about MY FAMILY! For years, his psychological crap stole time with my family. If I made even the MENTION of my family, anything that was pleasant or nice, “IT” would get savage and growl and throw screech fits of jealousy. Nope. I am finished with this and it is becoming as inconsequential as it TRULY is.
Let it go somewhere else and run it’s cons and stories and act like the animal it is. I AM THE ONE FINISHED. 🙂
Hang in there BBE: You are doing great. 🙂 xxoo
Dupedster
DUPED:
Yes, they are done when they say…it’s CONTROL. I am really, really hating my X spath right now. It was all about control and it makes me very angry. It was OK when he was flitting around, f*cking everyone he could, being playful and seductive, out drinking, on and on, but now that HE wants to be good, HE wants to settle down back with the family, everyone else gets cut off!!! They will always do what is in THEIR best interest…no one else. He never cared about anyone else. Never saw him not one time do something for someone. B*stard.