Psychopaths in the corner suite

According to research by Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert Hare, one in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath. Their research will be presented in a BBC Horizon documentary called Are you good or evil?, Wednesday, September 7, at 9 p.m.

Read One in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath, study finds, on Guardian.co.uk.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

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53 Comments on "Psychopaths in the corner suite"

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You are probably right. Me too.
The masks worked especially well on those of us who were raised by disfunctional people. We naturally didn’t even question the disfunctional behavior. At this point in my life, EVERYONE is suspect, but especially those people whom I feel very close and bonded with too quickly.

It doesn’t matter too much though, because the red flags eventually emerge and I know a spath when I see one now. And I think you do too. The last piece of the puzzle was my mother. She is not your typical spath. She works hard, she meets her responsibilities, she prays and encourages others to pray. She is shallow. That’s how I know that the other “good” things about her are just a mask. A good mask.


sky – the ‘tell’ with your mom is the the un-christian like behaviour paired with the ‘form’ of christian worship. behaviours not adding up. wha tthey are doing and what they say they are doing being diff. cog. dis.


Can you tell me what you mean when you say your mom is shallow?

My expath told me he was shallow, I still can’t process what that means.


i think my mom just heaped all the shit of her life on her kids – transferred all her own fears and pains from her life onto us. i don’t think she was particularly reflective, just scared and messed up all the time, and in her early 40’s banged up badly in a car accident that pretty much ruined the possibility she might have had to change her life for the better. and that selfish husband of hers didn’t insist that they move and that he could get a job that would support us, so that she didn’t have to work in her half healed state. nope. she was supply and he is an n.

i am thinking my n ex might be a spath. sky she was ALL about the mask, and the sex and keeping people on the line, and being charming and explosive rage, and being ‘just right ‘ for me….hmmmm. she pretended to be a buddhist. she wasn’t any kind of Buddhist i recognize. her mom is a whack job extraordinaire.

shallow is a word that I had used to describe people, in the past. But I didn’t know the true meaning of the word, until I learned about spaths.
It’s hard for me to explain, but I’ll try.

Shallow is a huge word. It was used by Cleckley and Hare, as in, “shallow affect”, meaning that they feel emotions but not deeply. Spaths can move in and out of any emotion, the way an actor would. I wrote once that it’s like a method actor’s procedure for creating the emotion required for a scene. The emotion is not long lasting because it isn’t deeply rooted.

Shallowness is also a result of not having any values. That’s why spaths wear other people’s skins. They see someone who impresses them (they are easily impressed) and they want to be that person. The very next day, they could meet someone else, who is the complete opposite, and they will want to be that person too. They do this because they value nothing, instead, they borrow values. They are like infants with memetic desire. Rene Girard explains it very well with his theory of subject, object and model.

My mother’s shallowness is apparent in her lack of values. I realized early on (around age 10), that she did not pass on any values to me. I felt an emptiness when I looked inside to search for what was important to me. I found nothing.

I’m working to find values, still to this day. I’m discovering my own values, but none came from her. This was confusing to me at first, because I thought that I had failed to connect to her values, but on closer inspection I now see that she didn’t have any.

But, she values her garden. It’s a riotous jungle of greenery and flowers, but there isn’t much order. It’s what she uses to upstage the neighbors. It’s her facade. She values the garden because she gets complements on it.

Most of my family members value material wealth and the things which show wealth. That’s it.

It’s interesting that your exspath said he is shallow. Most people who are shallow are not self-aware of it. Most of them actually believe that the symbols of a certain thing are equal to the thing itself. They don’t understand that it’s a shallow representation. To them, it’s “real” because they believe it’s real. Reminds me of Peter Pan.

Milo, I love your story above! Your husband sounds like a great man! :)))

panther ~ Thanks, he really is one of the good guys. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am, then I read what most of you all have been through. At least when I am dealing with the P daughter and all the fallout from her crap, I have someone else to lean on.

As far as the story, he is not on road patrol any longer, mostly handles 911 calls at the emergency center, but when something like this comes up I think they send him out just to see what he will come up with. LOL

Take care and stay strong, I follow your story.

The discussion on ADHD, further up. I agree with OXY, ADHD cannot be used as an “excuse” for bad behavior. When Grand was first officially diagnosed with ADHD, I wanted to say “DUH, now tell me something I didn’t know” Grand’s is also one of those full blown, peel me off the ceiling cases. He is on medication and it does help, but the impulse control is something that has to be dealt with on a daily basis and with therapy – STOP – THINK – ACT. That is the hard part.

Anyways, if anyone is currently dealing with a child with ADHD, you may want to “google” Simply Ben Glenn. He is known as the Simple ADHD Expert. He is an adult with ADHD and the way he talks to kids is amazing. If you watch part of his presentation, which is on his website, it is great. The first time Grand watched it, he jumped up yelling YEA, that’s me. It really was like I saw a lightbulb go off in his head. It is so funny, we both laughed and laughed. If anyone checks it out, let me know what you think. I had the feeling that for the first time Grand saw himself AND that he is not alone.

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