According to research by Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert Hare, one in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath. Their research will be presented in a BBC Horizon documentary called Are you good or evil?, Wednesday, September 7, at 9 p.m.
Read One in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath, study finds, on Guardian.co.uk.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
Ox Drover
Donna, you are so right, just hearing a GOOD story of success once in a while does give us hope that a few of these defiant kids may be saved…but note too that Superkid started working with her son at an EARLY AGE…and kept him in therapy…so I think that may be one of the keys right there. EARLY intervention. It is very heartening though to hear a success story on raising kids here at LF, too many of us have lost that battle.
Erin Brock’s junior seems to be coming around now as well….so there is another story of success and a “winning” against the genes and the psychopathic DNA donor. There must also be others here as well. I’d love to hear them!
ErinBrock
Superkid;
I’m so glad to hear of your Jr’s progress!
I believe those of us who have created a child/ren with a toxic person share these fears for our kids. I think we all worry when we see defiant behaviors…..is it the teen years, or are they turning out like father/mother (toxic parent)….OMG…..what can we do……
Well……the good thing is…..there ARE things we can do…..
and as a loving parent, we know we can’t just discard the jr’s at first sign of trouble. WE offer counseling, we continue to love and model acceptable behaviors….even through the storms.
Sometimes, it’s inate…..and it’s the nature/nuture-genes question/outcome……but nonetheless…..we CAN’T give up….because that is ‘who’ we are! All kids deserve a chance…….and we have to parent with no regrets. Give it 200%.
It’s heart wrenching (I know) to watch our kids take not such a great path….and wonder…..OMG! But I do believe…..that there may come a time where these kids start seeing the reality of the situation and recall all of our modeling and counseling suggestions……and decide to ‘hop onboard’.
For us as parents……it’s a crap shoot. Am I gonna lose them to their choices…….or will this turn around.
My eldest is 19…..and he’s started making MUCH better choices for himself. He’s also back in counseling (his choice), he’s seeing behaviors in others he doesn’t like and won’t accept. He’s discovering the world and setting boundaries. He’s much calmer…..and the dramatics have subsided. I see him using the ‘tools’ from counseling of which he rejected up until now. I wished he’d of participated sooner……BUT……he wasn’t ready and now is his time. And as we all know……none of us can be pushed into learning….as pure as the intentions are. I also believe anxiety plays a huge roll in their behaviors! One of the tools Jr’s counselor is working with him on is controlling the axiety respoonse……not everything else around him. Ya know…..control what we have control over! 🙂 It’s helping BUNCHES and his awareness alone is a huge help.
I think we have to do as we have….continue to love and support…..and after that……hope for the best and draw lines. Oxy wasn’t as fortunate and her son is an example of what we all fear as parents. All of the parents in Oxy’s situation have shared our fears.
None of us are alone……..
We just have to keep plugging along and fighting for our kids……until the writing is on the wall!!!!
Kudo’s to you…..Im so glad your son has chosen a different and better path!!!
XXOO
EB
MiLo
Superkid ~
Thanks so much, your son sounded like my Grandson, almost 11 now. There is such a sweet side, but defiant is his middle name. He needs to control almost everything. I give him a lot of choices too and give him control over some things in his life. He has been in therapy since age 3, but lately he is there physically but refuses to participate in any way.
You give me hope and a reason to keep doing and doing and doing.
MiLo
ErinBrock
Milo….
You said it……
Keep doing and doing and doing…….KEEP DOING DARLEN!!!! Your Gson will reap the benefits!
Ox Drover
Dear MiLo,
I’m sorry your Grand is not participating in therapy right now, but at 11 there is still a lot of “wiggle room” for HOPE….I think I sort of went a BIT TOO FAR with the HOPE, til he was nearly 40! LOL But you know, there is a time when we do have to “wash our hands” and say “I’ve done all I can” and move on. Making that break is difficult though! At ANY AGE!
MiLo
Grand’s therapist is on maternity leave right now, so we are taking a break. I’m thinking this may be a good time for a change. I am wondering about a male therapist. He relates so well to young guys.
Suggestions?????
Ox Drover
Milo, if he is not participating in therapy as it is with this therapist, it might be a good time to change. I think your suggestion for a male therapist at this time (age 11) might be a good idea too. So he can see that all this therapy stuff isn’t just “woman’s ideas” that he can ignore cause he’s a “guy.” LOL
MiLo
Oxy ~ that was my thought, I think he is sick of us chickies
Ox Drover
My P son has NO respect for women in particular….and I think his especial hatred for me is based on my “attempts to control” him. The few times I managed to “trump his ace” still pith him off to the core….so for several reasons I can see a benefit to having a male therapist for your son. Some one he can emulate and look up to.
ErinBrock
What about male mentors also….flood him with men. Youth leaders, male teachers at school, male community leaders, male sports dudes etc….and sprinkle in a woman here and there.
This is one of the things I did……I did watch Jr manipulate all the new males, wear them thin until the next one came around…..but a few of them stuck around……and they’ve been a big help! I would inform them all of his inclination to manipulate……and please set boundaries with him. They all fell for it in the beginning, until they learned the curve. ALL of them were influential in one way or another…..It has lead him into seeking out his own positive roll models……
Jr’s got a male counselor. Same guy we ALL saw years ago…..counselor knows his fathers horrid ways….which helps jr NOW open up and not have to start from scratch. Counselor knows me also……the dynamics etc….This is the counselor I saw for 3 years during the firestorm of my life! I think I was lucky with the counsellor…..I taught him the sociopathic experience…..he was there during divorce, I discussed my tactics etc….. he was the one who told me I needed to fight fire with fire…..and I would share with him weekly about my ‘journey’ with calling on my ‘inner spath’ to fight the asshole! He would remind me to keep the balance and remember ‘who’ I was…..and be able to jump back into my authentic self after going on spath attack.
He saw the beginning, middle and end…..and now he see’s jr willing to participate alone……i’m sure counselors thrilled!!!! ( I no longer see him).