Why do psychopaths go after what they want regardless of the negative consequences they may experience? According to the journal Nature Neuroscience, the answer may be chemical—an overactive dopamine reward system.
Read Driven toward reward without regard for consequence on Time.com.
Read the scientific study, Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals with psychopathic traits, in Nature Neuroscience.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader via Facebook.
Our Family Wizard can help you co-parent with a sociopath
More info…you prob already are aware, but Im digging for ANYTHING HELPFUL..
Can I get my child emancipated so I won’t have the liability and responsibility?
Although you will not be responsible for the acts of an emancipated child, you as a parent cannot get your child emancipated. Emancipation is a legal process for minors who are living on their own, supporting themselves, and being responsible. A parent cannot petition the court to have a minor emancipated. (see the fact sheet on Emancipation.)
What if I need help because I can’t control my child?
Because Legal Advocates for Children & Youth (LACY) represents minors, we cannot provide legal assistance to parents.However, parents who are having difficulty with their children may call Legal Advocates for Children & Youth at (408) 280-2416 to get a copy of our “Community Resources” list. This list will provide parents with the names and phone numbers of community agencies that work with families and may be able to help.
Witsend –
Im not sure when he will turn 18 – but what about for however many months remain – he stay with his brother?
I know you have many reasons for this not to occur – but when it comes to your health and safety — perhaps its one avenue to research for however many months…
Also – you can maybe tweak what you “do know” with what ” he doesnt fully know” you can say you met with police and the legal age for a child moving out in Michigan is 17. And although you dont have any legal obligation if he wishes to return at this point he has to FIRST agree to the following:
1. mother/son counseling because you want to reconnect with him on a level that you both deserve.
2. curfew
3. responsibilities in the house
4. animal treatment
5. respect, honesty, openness
Again – although you feel it falls on deaf ears…its the consistency the boundaries and the authority you assert that he will at least know you mean business. What he does with it is his choice. If he is desperate, he may concede. Also, let him know you are willing to protect yourself in terms of expecting respect and a change in the way things were by involving a judge if need be ( sort of like a scare tactic)….by stating that its not something you want to do nor feel will need to happen if he just agrees to the requirements to have a healthy mother-son relationship again.
AGAIN, it may all fall on deaf ears – but you are being firm consistent and foot down and it just may break him or DETER him from pursuing this route. Make it seem that you found out you do have rights as a parent of a defiant 17 yr old teenager who moved out. TWEAK IT to your advantage – let him know you are not going to be walked on or over..but at same time you are willing to meet in the middle if he agrees to your terms.
Just thinking outloud….
What about putting an alarm system in your home and he can’t have the code….he can only be in your home with you there…..(explain to him trust issues).
Have it monitored $23 a month. with police on dispatch….
At very least….he will know you mean business….
Since he’s been out of the house for a while….(and I’m assuming he’s not been over??)…..NOW might be a good time to set up a recorded Video system AND have an alarm installed…..
If he cuts the cords or tampers with it….calll the police….
ADT offers a free system with $23 monitoring a month.
This would be a good investment for you……
Guarentee the police won’t be taking it lightly by the 3rd call….and will know you mean business too….if JR doesn’t.
He’s gonna bounce your boundaries…but you need to bounce em right back at em…..you already know it’s gonna be a long 9 months……until 18!
I told my son at 17 plus 3 months…..Okay….heres the deal…..you can look at your life like your pregnant…..your newly pregnant and your gonna give birth to YOUR life in 9 months…..I suggest you start preparing…..cuz at this point your NOT equipped to PARENT yourself in 9 months….
If he’s cruel to animals….and you have it on video….or some sort of ‘evidence’…..REPORT IT!
Otherwise…..I’d get the animals used to riding in a car and takem with.
I’d get a german shepherd. Female.And I’d feed that dog really well and keep it by my side all the time.
All the time.
Just like my new little Holly girl…..
Dang….you shoulda seen her with the landscapers today…YIKES!!!!
Witsend –
Have you ever contacted the Domestic Violence shelters in your area? They may be VERY HELPFUL with this — express your fears, his threats, your situation — see what they say, come up with or offer in terms of past experiences with other parents reaching out to them about their fears of their 17/18 year old children. Worth a shot – Im certain they have experience with this and can offer you support as well as avenues to choose from… xox
Witsend ,
I will keep brainstorming with everyone – I will not stop…
Take a deep breath…
You WILL get through this.
It may take going out of your comfort zone with asking your older son to help you with this… or going to a DV location and seek out information, guidance, or voicing legal jargin as a means to show your son you are not a push over — you will protect yourself and you will always offer a way to make a truce which requires items 1 – 5 aboue to be agreeded to and followed through by him, his actions – – not his words.
Stay strong! You will get through this as you have so much! xox LTL
witsend:
If you allow your son back into your home, or are forced to take him back in, my concern for you is your physical safety since he has already threatened to burn the house down. I think you should seriously consider getting something to protect yourself with — if not a gun, then a stun gun, mace, something that is legal under the laws of Michigan.
Generally, under the laws of most states, self-defense is allowed when one fears being assaulted with consequences of serious harm or death. That means that the level of response must match the threat, not exceed it and the person about to take defensive steps has a duty to warn if it would seem to do any good. Further, one has the duty to retreat from assault if possible and use force, especially deadly force, only as a last resort.
If a “victim” uses excessive force they become the aggressor.
Force becomes excessive when it exceeds that needed to assure one’s own safety. Also, the more you know about self-defense (ie you are an expert at karate) the more responsible you have to be in its application.
I believe that you live in Michigan. I am not licensed to practice there. However, I believe Michigan in the last few ears passed legislation that strengthened and clarified self-defense rights in Michigan.
As I understand the law, Michigan residents are allowed to use deadly force, with no duty to retreat, if they reasonably think they face imminent death, great bodily harm or sexual assault. They can use deadly force on their property or anywhere they have a legal right to be.
Furthermore, the legislation also protects people from civil lawsuits if they have used force in self-defense.
The law also creates a “rebuttable presumption” — a legal advantage that assumes, unless there’s strong proof to the ccontrary, that people honestly and reasonably believe they face death, rape or great bodily harm when someone breaks into their home. However, as I understand it, the presumption won’t apply in domestic violence situations, disputes involving the police and if people using the force are breaking the law.
It is this domestic violence exclusion that gives me pause. I would ask legal aid if the relationship between you and your son would fall within that area.
To protect yourself, I would make sure any form of protection you decide on, make sure it is legal and, if it is necessay that it be licensed, you do so. I would also consider putting the police department on notice as to the situation with your son.
I don’t mean to alarm you with this. But, I do think you need to take steps to protect yourself.
Let me know if I can find out anything else about this for you.
Witsend, I have nothing to offer but you’ve been given some fine avenues to explore above. The first thing the police said to me was get a big dog. A sheppard at that. And someone said feed it well and keep it by your side. Cameras too! My little gals(dog and cat) loved him. They didn’t know he suggested prestone after he had loved them….keep on it and the solutions will come….I wish you all you need to get control with/over your son. Calling on all angels for you!
EB
🙂 Erin Broko… the movie is on TV…and was thinking of you! She’s one tough, cutie patutie hot cookie…..!