Why do psychopaths go after what they want regardless of the negative consequences they may experience? According to the journal Nature Neuroscience, the answer may be chemical—an overactive dopamine reward system.
Read Driven toward reward without regard for consequence on Time.com.
Read the scientific study, Mesolimbic dopamine reward system hypersensitivity in individuals with psychopathic traits, in Nature Neuroscience.
Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader via Facebook.
Our Family Wizard can help you co-parent with a sociopath
flower – N is nasty enough. Why they would give those particular diagnoses i don’t know.
Is it to your advantage in some way to have a diagnosis of spath for him? A legal reason?
If not, I would just go ahead and treat him like one. Then you are covered.
…and i think the short answer of how sp is diagnosed for most of us – by the swath of destruction they leave in our lives.
best,
one step
Yes, for custody. The childrens counsellor has said he thinks their Dad loves them as “much as he can”. When I point out the manipulation, abuse ect. he said a diagnosis of ASPD would be there if I was correct. He thinks Dad is just “selfish and shallow”.
I do treat him like one and my attorney said he was from the beginning of our case. I had wanted to leave town to get away from him but cant. The best interests of the children at their ages (teenagers) is to stay put…unless I can prove being with Dad is detrimental.
The courts dont recognize emotional abuse. But I am predicting physical as they get older. And will hold the idiots accountable for letting this happen. I ahd supervised visits for awhile and the sp smoozed the psychiatrist.
flower – i hope some here with experience of the legalities weigh in on this.
I would have thought N would be enough. but obviously not. people misunderstand that diagnosis also.
i am sure there are ways to play this – you need EB.
EB help me!! I am trying to fight off the visitation with my ex..a diagnosed bipolar N. I say he is ASPD.
I am going to begin writing letters to all involved..family, counsellors, court appointed mediator (psychologist). Ex has violated nearly all of our agreement..couldnt afford to take to court..ran out of money.
I want to prove what he is…expose this to the professionals who seem to think he is fine???
Flower:
Let me ask a few questions…..and forgive my CRS….Its’ bigtime….
What do your kids want? If kids want to be with Daddy-0, there is not much you can do exept raise their awareness…..and NOT directed in S’s afflictions….or you’ll drive em closer to dad and farther than you.
How old are kids? young teens?
What are your legal standings currently.
(BTW, you DON”T NEED AN ATTORNEY)You need balls and tenacity….and most mothers can develop those both!
Do you have a paper trail of abuse/neglect?
STOP….don’t campaign just yet….NOT a good idea!!!
This is where patience is key!! Really….if you don’t have it….your gonna learn it!!! It will benefit YOU and kids!!!
Have you read the articles and other comments re: this topic?
If not…..spend the day doing this…….gather ALL INFO you can.
Is divorce final?
And…..your not gonna be able to ‘force’ a diagnosis of S…..
Start using the word…CLUSTER B personality disorder…..HE is a CLUSTER B!
YOU DO HAVE THIS DIAGNOSIS!!!
Using the word Cluster B….provokes people to ask what a cluster B personality disorder is…..THEN….you can speel it out…….and educate them…..
BUT, you MUST be educated on it yourself….thoroughly, to educate others!!!
GO FOR IT!!!!
If the kids don’t want to see dad…..then YOU don’t have to force them…..this is the beauty of teens!!!
You can’t prevent it, but you also can’t force them to go.
So…..tha’ts a start…..and forgive me for not remembering your complet story….
Oh yeah….he’s Bipolar….does he take meds regularly?
If not……and he is rx’d them…..hit on that……
He’s unstable….and unpredictable due to lack of meds……
EB
YES….
If he is Bi-polar and NOT being seen on a regular basis by a psychiatrist AND taking his meds, THAT ALONE might be enough of a diagnosis for you.
People understand bi polar (and you might mention “it used to be called “manic depressive” with I think give lay people more idea what it is)
A lot of the grandiose and otgher behavior that is typical when a Bi-polar is MANIC is right down the line with psychopathy. In fact many psychopoaths jare ALSO bi-polar.
BI-polar is a treatable illness (and if he is also a posychopath that part isn’t treatable) but many Bi-Polars like the HIGH of mania and refuse to be treated and lose that “high” so he could be “dangerous” during those periods (they think they are God)
So I would stress the UNTREATED BI-POLAR illness SO THE JUDGE COULD UNDERSTAND IT. And he’s already got that diagnosis for sure. Good luck.
Dear Flower,
I would be frightened in your situation also. Sounds like your ex has the money and power and connections to be very intimidating.
My ex is a clinical psychologist and was well-known here. He was dx in couples therapy as having NPD. The therapist told him flat out…my ex just changed the subject…He also had a psychotic break and was in psychiatric hospital on involuntary hold. (He insisted it was 1965, couldn’t name the city we lived in,etc)
Fortunately we had no children. And he moved to Florida. But not before an intensive smear campaign and who had more credibility? Me or him? Him of course…
And he had a great deal of money from an inheritance (came from wealthy family) so money was no problem…he out-lawyered me at every turn, and threatened to kill himself in my front yard if the divorce didn’t go his way. So it did.
(even bought a shotgun he called a “people killer” and showed it to me)
I took his threats seriously. And didn’t think it would be a simple suicide–thought more likely a murder/suicide.
Feeling threatened is real & scary. My ex came over and broke windows twice when i wouldn’t answer the door. I sat in my bedroom closet praying he wouldn’t come in, listening to glass shatter…he seemed satisfied with breaking the windows each time and left….I couldn’t get a restraining order because he didn’t have a consistent, predictable pattern of coming around. I didn’t try all that hard, because they are worthless really. At least here.
Document everything, and pay attention to your gut. I had an alarm installed in my house, got a gun, and was thinking about getting a dog. I kept cell phones everywhere. My neighbors had “orders” to call the police if they saw him outside. Had lights installed outdoors. When I felt threat level was too high, I called friends before I left the house and told them exactly where I was going and when they would hear from me next.
Eventually he got tired of his power games, got what he wanted in the divorce, and moved on. I hope your ex does the same. You are in a difficult situation with so much imbalance in finances and power.
Your ex sounds very mentally unstable…so was mine. He was also diagnosed as bi-polar a few years after the divorce. That explains some of his behavior. But ASPD fits best for him.
I told everyone I knew what was going on, the threats, all of it. Left a letter with a friend just in case, and gave her copies of messages left on my machine. My ex was enraged that i wanted out, that i had filed for divorce. He somehow balanced it out in his head (threats, divorce settlement so in his favor i had to sign an affidavit for my atty that i wouldn’t sue her because settlement was so unfair, and another one for the judge so he wouldn’t censure her for not representing her client, keeping things of mine that had sentimental value, etc).
By making sure I was down and he had “won” the threats and window breaking dwindled down and he began looking for his next victim…I hope your ex does the same…
Try not to panic…I know it’s scary, really scary. But he has a lot to lose and if he considers you sufficiently worn down, he may lose interest. It may take some time, but I think he will eventually be satisfied that he “won” and then you’ll be OK. The kids–I don’t know…no experience with that but that is extra stress and reason to have some sort of connection with him.
Please take all safety precautions you can and believe he really doesn’t want to do anything drastic, anything that would ruin the image he has of himself, and the image he thinks others have of him.
Hang in there,
CAmom