Psychopaths show overactive dopamine systems

Oxy,

Yes. Because teenagers with this severe and extreme behavior have the potential to DANGEROUSLY blow up on a moments notice…I agree its best for Witsend to do whatever it takes to protect herself and be prepared for literally anything with regard to her son.

My mom pulled a knife on her sister when an argument got heated…she used it as a scare tactic and quite possibly if the police didnt arrive when they did she may have taken it further. She once pushed over a glass cabinet toward her Mom – again police called and she was taken away… its scary to be face to face with someone you have no idea what they will do – and you see it in their expression that they dont care either way.

My survival instinct was always to allow her to speak her crazymaking thoughts and for me to say yes I agree, yes you are right but Im just not willing to go back to that place with you. We dont get along. You need to move on – you are FREE to go out in the world and make your own adult choices. The days of treating eachother like (in Wittys case…a mother and a son) have passed us by – we just arent on the same page anymore and cant get along. You dont need the burden of me, and I dont need the stress of us…stuff that makes them go ” ok…ok…Im outta here…I dont need to hear this crap…Ill find my own place”….

But I agree whatever way Witsend handles her son there will be a very valid concern of how much danger may come out of it — I thought by being calm and understanding on phone or in a public place or with a therapist there (never alone with him) — allowing him to speak his craziness and saying she agrees with most of it and wants the same things too…but she just cannot agree to go back to living under the same roof unless HE agrees to this that and the other. Which he wont…but it allows him to feel heard and just summize his Mom is ( dumb, stupid, pain in the arse – or whatever crazy description he comes up with and he MOVES ON because in her “dumb/stupid/pain in arse” way — she “understands” him but wont budge. I found it lessened the blow with my Mom – vs her parents yelling back at her or treating her like she was a crazy person (which she was) — but when I just sat and listened and agreed and kept it mostly her saying everything…and me agreeing or saying you have a point there…stuff that just enabled her not to escalate…until the very end I would say I just cant go back to living with you, Im sorry….

I dont mean to speak about you in third party form Witsend…its just my use of examples when I refer to you in this post. And I do think whatever way you choose to handle your son – will be the best way and the right way FOR YOU. When you sometimes throw them a curveball they arent expecting with firmness such as Ive looked into legalities of 17 year olds who leave home and I found out I do have rights with regard to choosing not to let you come back because of our prior circumstances – sometimes its just enough to get them to stop pursuing their holier than thouness – and they just get their feathers ruffled enough to go come up with another plan altogether with someone else. Its EXHAUSTING, its frustrating, its crazy no matter which way one turns…just have to plan and choose the best tactic for protecting yourself with a potential dangerous person.

So yes Oxy I agree, better safe than sorry – is the only way Witsend can be going forward.