According to researchers, not all pedophiles molest children. And not all child molesters are pedophiles. Now, many experts view pedophilia as a deep-rooted disposition, much like heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Many researchers taking a different view of pedophilia, on LATimes.com.
Skylar, your experience gives new meaning to the term,”water boarding.” 🙂
Kim, (snicker) – indeed!
Skylar, your experience with this Board is just another excellent example of the different TYPES of spaths. Not all spaths are romantically rooted, and power and control are the crack cocaine for spaths.
As far as the article goes, pedophiles damage children who have no options, and that’s HOW they can perpetrate their damages. I don’t care what “causes” pedophilia. It’s wrong, on every level, and generates a cycle of damages that often transcends generations.
eugh…….
Truth and Kim,
Waterboarding is the term we used, tongue in cheek, about the meetings.
Even as I was planning to reveal Malice’s malfeasance (and there was more) to the community, my spath was working to sabotage me. He encouraged all his minions to join the water board to make my life miserable, to lie to me, and to inform Malice. It was so bizarre. I had never seen so much blatent evil in my life and I had NO idea that my spath was behind it all.
It turned out for the best, though, because that’s how I came to realize that he had actually moved people into the neighborhood to be his “witnesses” who would testify that I was crazy and suicidal and had killed myself.
I joined the water board because I knew that Malice was up to no good, but my spath couldn’t stand to see me doing anything that wasn’t all about him, so he put his minions into action, earlier than he had planned. Before this, I had never even met most of these neighbors, that’s how isolated I was.
So I think this is a good example of how to force a spath to reveal his hand. Push the envelope so that he has to make another move and reveal his strategy.
Skylar, wow…..just, wow. Your experiences NEVER cease to amaze me. The primary spath was so calculating that it’s just mind-blowing.
And, you backspathed the spath without even knowing it!
I am SO grateful that you are out, Skylar. Good golly….
Brightest blessings
Truthy,
I think that all spaths are pretty much the same, the difference is that some are bigger gamblers. Mine likes to gamble that he’ll get away with murder and takes measures toward that end. Other spaths just try to get away with money.
I know another spath that did something similar but he didn’t hide his minions, so that I could finally see a pattern:
When you plan a murder, get minions involved so that you have eye witnesses who will testify on your behalf.
My exspath, though, took it further. He pretended he didn’t know the neighbors and he discouraged me from ever meeting any of them saying that he didn’t like them, they were all “bad people” who would “cause trouble” and that he didn’t like people knowing where he lived. The truth was that he was fucking the crazy-husband-stealing minion, selling drugs and mentoring the Witch and her husband minions, sharing porn with the blow hard minion and God-only-knows-what he was doing with the little old lady and her Austrian husband spath-minions.
Anyway, the moral of the story is that when a spath brings in minions –RUN, he’s planning a murder and he needs witnesses.
Truthspeak,
It’s unfortunate that you can’t see much beyond an intention to provoke in what I posted. Stunning also that you don’t seem to have reacted similarly to talk of exterminating groups of people. Historically, lots of people — lepers, HIV carriers, tuberculosis carriers, the obese, other people with whom it might be dangerous to interact have been treated as disgusting and evil (and it *would* be evil for one to pass on his or her illness to someone else casually or willingly) but we did not usually exterminate them. We don’t exterminate people born with deformities that have no evolutionary explanation or adaptive value, which has come up in this conversation. We also don’t object to “she didn’t choose to catch leprosy/HIV/herpes/etc.” as somehow excusing the behaviors of willingly — or deceptively — passing the diseases on. I think it would be terrible to live with any of these conditions, and then with added pariah status.
Nothing I posted was an “attempt” to minimize harm done to paedophile’s victims or excuse the molesting of children — unless you regard acknowledging that hairs do have to be split “excusing” — in our legal system, we DO excuse it when the perpetrator and victim are close in age. I think in some states we used to allow 14 year olds to marry if their parents approved. I don’t know if those laws are still on the books.
You and some others seem to be objecting to uncovering any explanation for paedophilia. Your interpretation of explanations or markers as an “excuse” will not change the fact that they are real, if they are uncovered — and it appears that this is be happening.
I imagine neuropsychology will also at some point establish markers for people who end up in the clutches of psychopaths — trusting, nurturing, needy of physical contact with others, any number of attributes that have some strong or weak correlation will show up in the literature. Do you like the idea of someone suggesting that women or men with these markers should be sterilized, because of the burden their vulnerability creates for their families or children or society in general? Or exterminated? For whom among us has “NO CONTACT with the spath” been effortless? You don’t see any analogy here? I see two different people, but both trapped in their God-given nature and God-created circumstances. I know I failed over and over in the NC with abuser department and avoid bad men department and live without men department. Even after I was medicated. In fact, I am single and suffering as we speak, for a year or two. I don’t mean from sexual frustration exactly, but I can’t imagine what my experience might have been like with a male sex drive on top of my need to be held/touched etc etc.
And no, “analogy” does not mean that the proportions are equivalent. And the analogy is not perfect.
But why not wait for Germany’s experiment to fail before you condemn this research? We don’t have evidence yet that their approach endangers children. If the article is correct, it has actually protected them — which is the whole point. This kind of research is likely to play some role in programs like Germany’s.
As far as the quote that raised your hackles. Paedophilia is tragic when acted on — I can’t imagine you disagree with that. When not acted on — you don’t think that bears some resemblance to other kinds of peoples experiences with abstinence? Some people are fine, others really suffer. And, at the risk of being characterized as a troll again, I imagine in some cases their life of restraint must qualify as noble. Certainly stronger than I (see again the NO CONTACT with spath comments above).
Kim Frederick,
I just noticed that you addressed me too. I didn’t say anything was gender specific, but since you raised the subject, I do think youth and variety are bigger weaknesses for men than for women — there is empirical data for this as well as evolutionary explanation.
As far as people willing to work around lack of attraction — I don’t know the failure rate, but it’s not trivial. And people trying to work things out with a partner outside their orientation — that’s going to fail even more often, I’m pretty sure. Rational thought trumps orientation probably a fraction of the time.
Raggedy Ann,
There is a community called Hollow Water that in 1986 began to discover so much sexual abuse in the community that they were forced to look at it and resolve it creatively.
You might be interested in this. Another LF member told me about it.
http://www.iirp.edu/article_detail.php?article_id=NDc0
http://www.livingjusticepress.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7BE04AFC99-CA51-496A-9E79-A90276D1DB67%7D&DE=%7B33EB2660-5302-4E1D-9C8A-1EC72A8B893E%7D
The Hollow Water Healing Circles don’t advocate punishment or prison but they do advocate responsibility. I think that the problem with calling it genetic, is that it sort of turns it into an unsolvable problem where the perpetrator doesn’t have to take responsibility because… they were born that way.
Yes, Skylar, that’s often the argument regarding other problematic conditions as well, and it’s already been stated here multiple times — search for the word “excuse”. If medicine or science tells us they have strong evidence or even proof that something is biology-based, what are our alternatives to calling that something “biology based”? (or genetic, or heritable, or brain-tumor-driven, or any specific term examined or implied in scietific results or study)
Should we lie? Censor? Pray or look to religious texts for alternate takes?
What other things are problematic in seeing as biology-based? It was only a few centuries ago that we came to understand germs. In other parts of the world we are *still* burning witches we think caused this or that problem by being a witch, or by being possessed by demons, or whatever.
Limiting the conversation to things genetic, since you chose that word, should we condemn discussion of psychopathy, obesity, alcoholism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, or borderine PD, having a genetic component? Do you think Dr. Leedham’s book stands to do harm or do good?
I would have trouble condemning a schizophrenic for something they did in the throes of profound delusion and hallucination. I don’t have trouble saying “It’s not your fault, but you must be medicated now” or “It’s not your fault, but society must be protected from you now.” In some cases, I could even be down with “it’s not your fault, but you must be held responsible” (meaning be convicted/go to prison/etc.)
I don’t have trouble with the idea of saying the the paedophile who offended, “That you have this disorder is not your fault, but you must be held responsible for what you did.” (Or even held responsible for not complying with mandated remedies or monitoring.)
Raggedy, and I never said anything about sexual orientation. What I see happening here is a confusing mix of triggering issues, and a lot of seemingly rational arguments that are an amalgamation of word salad. Please pass the ketchup….I mean bleu cheese. 🙂