According to researchers, not all pedophiles molest children. And not all child molesters are pedophiles. Now, many experts view pedophilia as a deep-rooted disposition, much like heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Many researchers taking a different view of pedophilia, on LATimes.com.
Wow.
A) “Word Salad” (to me) = when there’s a lot of words, and no matter how many times I read it, my mind’s unable to make much sense of it, even though technically I could. I would have to reread a sentence several times, and still not be sure what I actually was raedig. Don’t even remember it. The words are correct, the grammer is correct, and yet nothing of the sentences stick to my mind for even a sec. This usually happens when the content is devoid of an’underlying’ personal voice of the writer. Even intellectual, objective, and devil’s advocate debate arguments are perfectly readable, because the writer will have a personal writing voice.
‘Word Salad’ usually has as an effect that I can’t put more energy into reading word salad than one paragraph.
Take it for whatever it’s worth, raggedy, but I barely read through a fifth of your paragraphs.
B) People here are free to disagree with each other and discuss diferring opinions: you with people here, and they with you: it goes both ways, not just you with others)
C) I note you clamor for your right to post your opinion and defend it, and that if others are bothered by what you write, they should just avoid this thread after they request to consider the traumatized feelings of others. But suddenly you ask for others to leave you alone? Isn’t that a bit of a double standard?
Darwin’sMom, a fourth poster may come up with their own different meaning. But google or check the wiki for an idea of how a lot of other people will interpret your meaning when you use that expression.
I myself skim over some people’ posts and don’t read everything for a few reasons. I think
Writing a lot is still preferable to posting insulting quips and refusing to clarify areas of misunderstanding.
Of course people are free to disagree with me. I said nothing implying the contrary. I do not respond, however, with “stop triggering me!” Followed by ad hominem attacks or mocking language. I am not telling others to accomodate my feeling triggered and that they should stop expressing their ideas on a topic raised by the leader of the forum that are consistent with hers, others’ and with scientific findings. Skylar has continued talking with me with some degree of disagreement and I certainly tell her to leave me alone. When someone has stated that they are not going to talk with you for x y z unflattering reasons, but returns repeatedly to address you with text that invites response or clarification, and implies that *you* should not be posting, you will probably remind them after a while that they said they would not address you anymore.
RA, your posts demonstrate a lack of sensitivity in their phrasing and a low level of awareness as to what many here will see as inflammatory e.g. your reference to ‘god given nature’. Perhaps your posts have no malicious intent but they read as unempathetic to the spirit of this community in my view. And as darwinsmom says your posts lack coherence in your use of language so your arguments are very hard to follow. They also have a pedantic quality. All this raises the possibility for me that you may be a person with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. In any case the motivations of the regular posters here are clearly to protect the community and I thank them for that.
First I have excess empathy and now I am out there on the autism spectrum. I’m sorry if God-given nature was wrong or inflammatory. I meant only that God, or fate, or accident of birth, or what ever you call it, has cursed these people with this proclivity.
I indeed may lack some feeling for something going on in this community. I’m certainly not used to the dynamic that unfolded here.
It’s unfortunate that we have to behave as though empathy were conserved like matter or energy. The article briefly touched on empathy for those struggling to live right despite living with this curse. I was able to empathize with this for reasons already stated. The psychiatrist from the article expressed sympathy for them. The article was about them and their brains and how it relates to efforts to keep them from offending — even if it was poorly written.
So far I am getting that there is little room for empathy here other than a narrow category of person, who are entitled to insult in the same breath as asking someone to stop saying what they are saying or even clarifying it. Can’t there be room for more? And tolerance or diplomacy or some degree of sensitivity toward people with coherency problems, which I apparently have, or people on the autism spectrum, which apparently I might be on — rather than insult and mocking. Forget empathy for people struggling to live with or transcend brain abnormalities like what’s in the article, apparently that’s going too far here.
I’m going to watch out for the “spirit of the community” in the future if I decide to post again. But I think it completely interfered with rational discussion of the issues raised in the article.
I do realise that this is an inflammatory topic and that i have ny own issues with it.
But what upsets me is the overall tone.
Being ‘different’ should be acknowledged and welcomed rather than diagnosed as some sort of illness.
I become an emotional wreck when the word peodaphile is mentioned and I marvel at those who have overcome the shock and can look at it objectively.
At one time I was like that because it had not tainted my life.
Raggedy Anne
I know where you are coming from and I would love to see it as a genetic disorder just like other diseases but unfortunately I can’t because my own experience of it clouds the issue.
But I also see the benefit of a rational and an emotional discussion.
So sorry if I have offended anyone, but I do get triggered when I see many against one person.
xxx
My opinion….that i’m entitled to and won’t debate~
As members of an organized society……we all have an obligation to follow laws and conform to societal standards. If we stray, for whatever reasons there are legal and societal consequences.
Depending on the perps mental health status, the consequences are handled differently. IE, no state can execute a mentally distrubed person, if they are diagnosed with certain disorders. (Insanity), but confined to a mental health facility is the sentence.
We can’t live in a society where we have ‘free pass’ cards for anything. It would be chaos and a free for all, sending the wrong messages to all.
Look how many cases are handled with ‘excuse’ or exploited diagnosises or reasons…..
If we think hard enough, we can all come up with an excuse for our wrongs. Then add attorneys! Let the spin begin. UGH!
If you are going to walk free, you are going to follow the rules/laws or face consequences.
It doesn’t matter if you view porn, molest children, rape dogs or have sex with your doorknob, they are all devious (and mostly illegal) behaviors. It’s the devious act that perpetuates the behaviors or thoughts.
Healthy minded persons don’t require porn, children etc…..
For me it all boils down to…….If I knew someone had an issue with controlling themselves sexually around children, but (claimed) to NEVER acted upon it…..would I bring that person over to babysit my children. UH NO! I have NO USE for this person……why? Because if they never acted upon these compulsions WE WOULDN”T KNOW ABOUT THE ISSUES NOW WOULD WE???? It would be a non issue, because it’s a private thought and it’s kept privately inside their head. Once the thought comes out, it expresses a real problem coming to the surface. If he chose to discuss it with a therapist….great. But I can’t help you! The risk outweighs the benefit to me. I would never put myself in that position nor my children. Again, this type of person is NOT worth the risk to me.
Viewing child porn is a crime and it does have victims and they are repeatedly victimized with each self gratification attempt or viewing or fantasizing. It’s wrong…..on EVERY level!
Just like emotional abuse vs physical abuse. One victim has visable scars and bruises, the other is scarred internally. Either way…..abuse is abuse.
It’s like the 2 year old poking his finger ALMOST to another childs eye and chanting…..I’m not touching you, I’m not touching you…..hahahah.
Is that ok behavior? No, you reprimand that child. But why??? he didn’t TOUCH the other one?
Why….because his behavior was wrong!
It’s taunting.
We’ve accepted too much crap as a society! We’ve taught people what they can get away with or not…..our court allow attorneys to bring far reaching excuses into the courts and they have to be heard.
I am not interested what your diagnosed with……FOLLOW THE LAWS, don’t hurt people or lock your own ass up and become a hermit ALONE with your OWN company (without porn)!!!!
Oh and Sharing the Journey…..
I think Ragedy Ann is doing a fine job of perpetuating the response she/he is getting all on their own.
We all have a choice to do as he/she suggested…….but they are participating willingly…..and needing the last word.
Perpetual motion…..stirs the pot!!
Some people like it that way…….
Erinbrock
I agree.
And some people like to see it stop.
xxx
ErinBrock, I agree that there must be delineation and that, as a society, the “Culture Of Labels” needs amendment. I would be the poster-child of Adult ADHD, but that “label” does NOT excuse me from behaving, in society, within reasonable boundaries.
I learned, over time, how to manage impulsive behaviors and attention issues under my own power. I learned things by trial and error BECAUSE I wanted to control myself.
A pedophile is someone that has a sexual attraction TO children. A child molestor is an individual that perpetrates sexual crimes AGAINST a child. If a pedophile can successfully control their urges, then that’s a WIN. However, a molestor will never stop harming children. Not every pedophile IS a molestor, but every molestor is a criminal of the most heinous kind.
Donna, I agree that the more research done about the disordered, the more we realize how much we really don’t know. It is very complicated and there are really no solutions other than genetic engineering, and I’m disdainful of that because genetic engineering is very, very dangerous (Monsanto).
Brightest blessings