According to researchers, not all pedophiles molest children. And not all child molesters are pedophiles. Now, many experts view pedophilia as a deep-rooted disposition, much like heterosexuality or homosexuality.
Many researchers taking a different view of pedophilia, on LATimes.com.
back to the article,
I have no problem accepting there being biological and neurological reasons for pedophelia feelings. But the attraction is unhealthy and imo sick, as it is not with homosexuals (as has been mentioned in the thread), for the simple reason that the first involves a desire for a person who does not have either the power or ability for consent, whereas the latter at least involves desires for a person who can return it in full posession of their free will and power.
Abuse is always related to dominance, control and power-tripping over another person, whether emotionally or physically raping an adult or a child. It has little or anything to do with attraction, except for finding sexual gratification in dominating someone else, hurting them. And whether the victim of abuse is of consenting or non-consenting age, both are morally wrong and reprehensive.
I do not feel pity for pedophiles, because every human being on this planet has at least once desired a person unavailable to them: everybody can be infatuated with someone who does not return the feelings, and we all have the capacity to overcome it. We don’t force that ‘object of desire’ into obliging our physical urges, and we even learn (somewhere in our 20s mostly) not to indulge ourseleves with fantasies either because it would keep the flame alive.
My instant-attraction picker is a flawed one. It involves men of consentual age, and who would gladly even give their consent… but these men are a high risk for unhealthy relationships. That’s not sad, that’s not pittiful: it’s just what it is. But it does not make for a hopeless case, because there are other attractions, apart from instant ones, that I can nurture and develop for other men that are more healthy to myself.
And while younger men and women (of consenting age) may be more physically attractive, they are not necessarily more emotionally and mentally attractive. Our world and media makes too much out of instant physical attraction and the gratification of it in general: it caters to the fantasy of teen perception… pretty infantile. And the whole ‘woe-the-pedophile who can not be physically attracted to an adult’ is absurd imo.
ErinBrock, I am a staunch opponent of pornography of any type.
When I was a child, Playboy was just becoming mainstream and, to some degree, it recorded the beauty of the female form, albiet the nude form, but human nudity isn’t necessarily pornographic. However, as time passed, more and more exposure made Playboy centerfolds into simple objects of desire or what “should” be the female sexual “ideal” for men. Then, Hustler came along – raunchy, demeaning, and objectifying. THEN, technology came along with instant and easy access to some of the most unimaginable hard-core pornography available.
“Pornography” becomes “porn” when it’s objectifying. Instead of erotica that is shared between consenting adults, it becomes a compulsion of abberrant sexual appetites. Most females who are featured in pornographic videos and imagery have been sexually abused, as children. This is a statistical fact. They are only able to associated their own self-worth with sex and exploitation.
Porn feeds the Disorder Monkey on a variety of levels. It perpetuates objectification, victimization, and risky sexual behaviors. For those that view porn, regularly, there comes a point when what they’re viewing isn’t stimulating enough and they have to ramp up the shock value to the next level. If they are in a relationship, they are unable to engage in HEALTHY sexual intimacy because their minds have been altered to the point where sexual intimacy with their partners simply isn’t “stimulating enough” and they are powerless to NOT compare their partner’s appearance and “performance” with what they have been viewing.
Porn does NOT reflect normal, healthy, loving, and safe sexual intimacy. Porn does NOT promote healthy sexual intimacy. Porn obliterates the human connection between healthy love and healthy sex. And, it’s not even about promiscuity. What pornography does it to etch imagery and beliefs about healthy sexual intimacy that aren’t true upon the human psyche – man or woman, pornography does NOT spice up a couple’s sex lives.
For children, the ramifications of exposure to pornography can cause irreversible lifelong dysfunction. A child’s mind is not developed enough to process the typical imagery that is seen in pornography. The nude female or male form in it’s most natural state? Yes, nudity is natural. But, hard-core pornography viewed by a child cannot be safely processed by that child, on any level. Thus, that child’s exposure to pornography can actually be a CATALYST for sexual deviance, dysfunction, and disorders.
There was once a time that people who wished to obtain or view pornography were required to find dubious shops in dark, secret locations. Today, a six year old child can access porn using their cell phones. Society is collapsing, and no amount of research is going to slow the downfall.
Brightest blessings
Darwinsmom, 100% spot-on.
Darwin’s mom, please see the distinction truthspeak draws between paedophiles and actual molestors. Additionally, a paedophile doesn’t know a handful of experiences of unrequited feelings. That is almost by definition his enter life and daily burden.
I don’t regard your instant-attraction picker as meh, it is what it is. I thin k it’s unfortunate. I think mine is unfortunate, and for me, dangerous, hindering, and possible payed a role in my being unmarried and without children. I don’t have to pity you, but I believe your and my scenario in general calls for a bit of compassion and wouldn’t want it judged or condemned.
Erin Brockovitch, see what I did here. Somebody said something I thought was erroneous reasoning that had unhelpful implications, and I addressed them. I don’t see what dictates that I sit silent and not someone else who has almost nothing to say about a posted article except to direct fallacious projections at others or one word posts of derision.
My first post pitted me against what is apparently the spirit of the community: hostility to scientists’ findings, hatred for swaths of humanity because of our own damage, and tolerance for talk of extermination of biological defectives. Have you considered thaat some of this itself might be triggering?
I have to take issue with truthspeaks genuinely bizarre declaration that there is nothing to be done with this research but genetic engineering, and caution you or anyone who read it not to swallow it. In an era of contact lenses, chemotherapies, stem cells, antidepressants, hormone treatment, and sophisticated surgeries and neuropsychology research, it is possible that individuals will be helped not to offend. I’d like to see everything possible for future acts to be prevented and the best understanding of abusers arrived at, and support these efforts.
For the record, sex with a doornob is not devious, it’s deviant.
Thruthspeak, the more I think about it, the more I find it UTTERLY absurd, and yes you are right… porn is one of those infantile products.
Ever since teens, adolescents became a consumer market with pocket money, as well as early 20 somethings with decent wages but no children or house to spend it on… media has been dominated and flooded with a world view that caters to an egocentrical and narcistic world view.
It’s not a teen or early 20-something person fault to view the world in such a way, because they don’t have the life experiences yet. What is wrong imo is undulging them into the beliefs that they can get whatever and whomever their urges want. By the time a normal person hits 30, they already have learned that you don’t always get what you want and that what you want is not always good for you. By the time you’re 40, you’ve been clubbered on the head by life with the gaping discrepance between desire and reality. And I’m not talking about social rules and laws preventing you from acting out your deepest desires/dreams, but just plain life itself.
So, if pedophilia was just a sexual, physical preference, just like some people prefer blondes, or tall people, it wouldn’t be such a self-described torture not to indulge in it. If it is such a self-control issue, it is because dominance and turning another person into a cardboard extension to do with as you will lies at the heart of the issue. Then someone is attracted to children, for the simple reason that they are easier to dominate and made to comply with. And since it’s easier to self indulge in the infantile desire, and power tripping is at the heart of it, it becomes such an impulse-control torture.
As for a ‘handful’ experiences: almost everyone here has lived their entire life with numerous unrequited loves, otherwise we wouldn’t have fallen prey for the spath nor have such a hard time in getting over a partner that never existed. Basically my whole love life can be called a whole string of unrequited loves in some way or another, and yet it has NEVER been torture to control my impulses, nor has it made me ever say “I am attracted to who I am and I can’t change a damn thing about it, poor pity me; I’ll never have a happy life.” No, instead, with time I learned that those persons would never have been the right person for me… and I’m relieved that I wasn’t indulged in the fantasy becoming reality.
Darwinsmom, I believe that pedophilia is the worst sexual disorder simply because it’s focused on the INNOCENCE of a child and the destruction OF that innocence. Molestation is the act of that destruction. Both are, IMHO, intolerable because it feeds the most depraved dominance imaginable.
There are so many different paraphelias that it’s incomprehensible to me that people indulge in these anomolies. Sexual disorders are beyond my understanding. Having been married to someone who indulged in extremely violent sexual interests, I have no real frame of reference to refer to other than my own experiences. But, I agree that a sexual interest in children is NOT healthy, nor acceptable.
Impulse control is a primary factor in ALL things human. Like I typed, I’m the poster-child for adult ADHD, and I had to teach myself how to manage impulsivity. Nobody could argue that it’s an easy task, but it was possible because I WANTED to manage my impulsivity.
My issue with the crux of the article is this: with a label comes an excuse. I see it, every day. “Sorry, I was just having an ADHD moment,” when it’s simply a matter of NOT paying attention. “Sorry, I am a pedophile and I just got impulsive with little Francis.” It doesn’t wash.
If there is a biological marker that can be identified, then pedophiles can make the DECISION to control their impulses and urges WITHOUT the use of porn to satisfy those urges.
Whatever any individual harbors within their own minds is NOT illegal. It may be repulsive or repellant, but introducing porn as an outlet is NOT the answer. The answer is altering one’s own chemistry, either by practicing proven impulse-control techniques, medications, or other means.
Brightest blessings
Prison works, at least as long as they are there. Jerry Sandusky, rot in hell.
OxD, yes…….corral them all up together, drop them on a remote island in the South Pacific, give them each a bag of seeds and a couple of head of livestock, and be DONE with them all. Let them duke it out amongst themselves as to whom will be Top Spath, and leave them to their own devices.
What’s so inhumane about that? It’s giving them a chance to live without bars or rules as dictated by Society. So, whatever system of “government” that these people develop amongst themselves can be their own problem.
Porn to me is by men, for men and it is a mans game in a mans world.
Otherwise we would see the objectifying of men by woman.
As far as my research has shown, peadohilia means thinking about sex with children whereas a child molester does it.
One is not a crime and the other is.
My own instinct tells me that it is an attraction to innocence and a wish to destroy it which ties in with dominance and power and control. That’s why I think a lot of psychopaths are child molesters.
My ex was definitely a spath peodaphile. The molester part hasn’t surfaced as yet. But I can honestly say, that when he attacked me I felt strongly a molestation even though I had never experienced this before.
Even though there is evidence that the psychopath has brain abnormalities that causes his disorder I cannot find compassion for him. Same with a peodaphile or child molester.
I feel emotional revulsion towards both which is not scientific.
Yet I can have compassion for people who suffer dementia, schizophrenia etc.
As a mother of three I have always thought that they should be tattooed on their forehead if they offended to warn us.
It might sound primitive and inhumane, but it is nothing compared to the damage they have done and could do if they slip under the radar.
xxx
Thruthspeak, I completely agree…
It’s a pure human condition in life to not get what you want. As soon as anyone hits the toddler phase, life becomes a constant school of “NO!”, starting with “you can’t touch that”, “you can’t have that”, “it’s not yours”… When the hormones hit us life becomes a “no, he/she isn’t interested in you”. When you go for a career it’s “no, you don’t have the talents for it”… Life can be seen as a string of “no’s”… Healthy people learn to see the wisdom of it and adapt spiritually and grow internally. I don’t resent my parents for not catering to my every want for Sinterklaas (equivalent of Christmas here) when i was a child. I don’t resent my teachers for not giving me an A+ on everything I did. I don’t resent my ex-partners for not regarding me as “the one”. I don’t resent my ex-bosses for not always valuing my assets. Those ex-partners weren’t “the one” either. And I’m VERY glad I don’t work in my initial career anymore, nor would I want to teach under the principals that let me go 2-3 years ago… their schools have become an environment where self-indulgent teens have become king and teachers can barely teach anymore. As for the lesser grades: they made me do better and discover my excellence, instead of “just doing enough”. As for the toys I didn’t get: my parents gave me stuff I didn’t even think of, and I discovered a variety of play that enriched my creativity instead. Every “no” either turned out to be a blessing, because it forced me to explore areas within or outside of myself I would not have done otherwise. It lies at the basis of my spiritual growth.
Solely people who ever remain feeling entitled to get what they desire and want, are forever stuck in the spiritual gratification level of a 5 year old, and never truly discover themselves or the world. That can be rather seen as a pitiful state, but they hold the key in their own hands for that.