Plenty of scientific researchers have studied psychopaths. But few have studied the victims of psychopaths, so there is little documentation of what we have all been through.
Perhaps that is beginning to change.
Lovefraud has been contacted by a researcher from Carleton University in Ottowa, Ontario, Canada. She is conducting a study entitled Victimization, coping, and social support of adult survivors of psychopaths. The graduate student is working under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth, who is a colleague of Dr. Robert Hare.
The purpose of the study is “to gain an understanding of the victimization experiences of adult (18+) survivors of psychopaths, in an attempt to raise awareness amongst the general public, and mental health and criminal justice professionals.”
Everyone at Lovefraud is invited to participate.
The researcher has developed a web-based survey. The survey has both self-report scales and open-ended questions. You will be asked to rate the presence or absence of psychopathic traits of the most recent psychopathic individual you have been involved with on one scale. Questions revolve around demographics, your relationship and experiences with the psychopath, including being deceived and its impact on your mental and physical health, your ways of coping, and your support networks. The survey does not ask for any information that might identify you.
Completing the survey will take approximately one hour, and Lovefraud strongly encourages you to participate. If you are concerned about your safety, please be sure to take appropriate precautions.
Here—finally—is a chance to develop information that may make a difference in how victims of psychopaths are viewed and treated. Let’s take advantage of the opportunity.
Data is being collected from now until Dec. 31, 2008. Be sure to add your voice.
i realized that im not ready to date again. im still comparing my life with the S, to other people i meet. one thing i do know is that, IM HAPPY BEING ALONE. being alone feels right for me right now. everyone enjoy your life living sociopathic free!!!
Hello,
“OxDrover” – I realize that some people may have come into contact with more than one psychopath (or that they may fill several roles, in which case, it could be described under “other”) and Dr. Forth pointed this out herself in the planning stages of my survey. That is why the instructions ask to choose the most recent one or the last one you have had contact with.
“Stargazer” – I was trying to make the survey so that it could include a wide variety of situations, so that as many people as possible could have a voice. I realize that some may be in crisis at the current moment, and others may not be – and I wanted there to be room for both situations, hence asking about current vs. past involvement in demographics. You could think of the questions in terms of frequency ever since the last contact, and how you are feeling now.
The screen is showing up as scrolling up for me and ‘answers’ are shown on previews for each individual page, so I am not sure what you mean.
Yes, you will be able to see the results of the survey by March 1st, 2009. Send an e-mail (anonymous, no identifiers, account only you can access please) to psurvivorstudy@gmail.com with “want psurvivorstudy results” in subject line, and leave the message empty.
“OxDrover” – You had a similar concern to Stargazer to whom I responded previously. It’s perfectly fine to describe how you felt at the end of the relationship, shortly thereafter, and now as separate situations in open-ended questions. As you pointed out, all of that would be very useful for researchers to know. It is good to hear that you feel that you are a stronger person, and that you are safe.
“kerisee04” – I attempted to write this survey for people who still had the P in their lives and those who did not, which is difficult to do. I can cross-reference all answers to the current/past involvement in my analyses. Still, your comments about the assumptions of the P being out of your life, more than the first encounter affecting your health, experience of emotional outcome also being connected with your husband’s, and your social support brings up an idea that perhaps I should add a comments section in case people wish to provide any. It will help me to look at the answers more closely to how you have, as well. I will see if I can include a comments section.
The demographics section asks about what your relationship to the P (employer, employee, family member, spouse, significant other, plus an other category, etc.) is, so again, I can cross-reference answers.
Thank you very much for participating and for your insightful comments!
“Glinda” – Choosing a good P scale was hard because the majority of them focus on things like “he/she thinks/feels…”, but the one in my survey had more behavioural aspects. The “don’t know” option was added to the original out of necessity. This brings to mind that there are currently none that are for victims to evaluate – P scales are mainly self-report or professionally administered. This may be very useful so I can make suggestions for future research in this area as well.
I have made comments about timeline in my responses to previous posters here. I am glad to hear that you are in a positive space now! :).
Protecting identity and anonymity is out of requirement (i.e., Ethics) and respect, and not intended to make anyone feel ashamed. I may be the one who starts the research, but I think participants, regardless of amount of answers given, have the real power. It is your experiences after all that will help others.
I really appreciate everyone’s feedback! Technical changes I can deal with fairly quickly. Major changes to questions would be difficult for me to do because what you see in the survey has been approved by my university’s Ethics committee. However, any comments that you have, I hope to put to use in one way or another.
Sincerely,
-M. (pss).
Dear M,
Thank you so much for your response. We are a ‘mouthy’ bunch with lots of questions and opinions. lovefraud blog is a very healing place and those of us who have ‘been here” for a while have benefited greatly from the companionship, support, advice, and knowledge gained from this site. It has been instrumental in my own healing, and others have also stated the same thing many many times.
I am very grateful that people (like you) are researching this situation from any stand point, but especially from the stand point of the victim’s perception of how the relationship impacted them. My life has been filled with psychopaths, my family is primarily made up of psychopaths, and frankly i am not sure how I ended up NOT being one with the genetics in both sides of my family.
Thank you for your time and effort in this survey! We do appreciate it!
dear m….i had no problems with the survey…could have been more lengthy in my explanations though….i too was not sure if i should answer how i felt immediately afterwards or at the present….i could barely function then, but have learned so much about myself and my role in this nightmare since….i am not sure when all the data is reviewed how exactly to extrapolate the meaning to us….some are fresh, some are yrs out….some responded as to how they feel now and some as to how they felt then…..very different answers i would think tks terri
Hi M!
Thanks for the reply. I DID take the “don’t know” option on a few. The questions that asked for observations of their behavior made sense and were easy for me to answer.
I too appreciate what you are doing. Oxy is, as usual, much more eloquent.
Good luck with your survey and results 🙂
Yeah, the questions on how they feel are ambiguous, because we never really know how they feel about things. For instance, my hubby’s ex-wife outwardly said she hates violent movies (for the kids, etc), but she has an impulsive sexual side, and introduces them to strange men and dangerous situations. So you see, what they say and how they actually feel are so completely different compared to the situation they’re in. They are like chameleons. She couldn’t believe it when I said a cuss word once. Then, recently she got upset at a daycare provider and spewed the F-bomb over and over again at her. But to people in the congregation, she acts completely another way.
Not to mention, I think they emulate our standards, not just to manipulate, but also because they have no natural emotions themselves, so they have to show something to people.
Thank you for the survery. I found it overall very easy to understand and had no problems really with the question/answer process. I liked the blanks that were provided for some of the questions so we could elaborate. I think it is wonderful that focus is being put on victims/survivors and what can be done to help. Thanks again and I look forward to seeing the results of your work.
I took the survey, even though it seemed geared for people who had dated or married a Sociopath.
I wish the person/people writing the survey realized that Sociopaths cause trouble in families, churches, ministries and the workplace as well.
It seemed OK, for a survey. Servey’s aren’t always the best way to gain understanding of a complex topic. If the survey doesn’t ask the right questions, then the results are misleading.
Elizabeth
It did ask (us) to relate the suvey to the latest psy/soc (we) where in contact with , did’nt it?
OxDrover’s post on Sunday, 2 November 2008 @....... 7:18pm:
“One thing that was a BIT confusing to me was your questions about our moods, etc. It wasn’t clear if the way we ’felt’ and acted after wards was right after or now that we have had some time to heal. i answered like it effected me at first (and for months and months afterward) but actually NOW, this minute, i am doing well, but it has been a years long healing process, not something that healed over night. ”
I had the same issue. There’s a big difference between how I felt and acted during recovery and how I feel, act and think now.
I once read that the victims of narcissists are often mistakenly seen as having a histrionic personality disorder. This assessment is invalid because after the recovery process, the victim goes back to being his/her strong, happy, reasonable self, only perhaps a bit wiser than before. I think that’s true for victims of sociopaths as well. It is from what I’ve seen anyway.
The before, during, recovering and thriving states are quite distinct.
One more thing:
Once you’ve been there, done that and declined the T-shirt with your first card carrying member of the “drama club” (DSM IV cluster B), you’re a lot harder to distress by subsequent encounters with similar characters.
I walked away from a volunteer position recently because a fellow volunteer was a sociopath whose acting out was escalating. Experience had taught me that it was time to quietly and graciously leave the organization. My old, naive self would have stayed longer, empathized more, felt worse and tried to explain the situation to anyone and everyone I thought would listen. Now I know better. This time I simply walked away with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Now I look back on my earlier experiences in organizations and recognize that I’ve seen other people do the same thing, but I hadn’t understood at the time. People who can spot a sociopath and know when to bail have “wicked, crazy people skills” I wish everyone enjoyed. It would be great if education shifted the balance of power against the Sociopaths and toward the rest of us.
The sociopaths are walking among us at work, church, civic organizations, in short – everywhere. Shouldn’t everyone know how to spot ’em and deal with them?