Plenty of scientific researchers have studied psychopaths. But few have studied the victims of psychopaths, so there is little documentation of what we have all been through.
Perhaps that is beginning to change.
Lovefraud has been contacted by a researcher from Carleton University in Ottowa, Ontario, Canada. She is conducting a study entitled Victimization, coping, and social support of adult survivors of psychopaths. The graduate student is working under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth, who is a colleague of Dr. Robert Hare.
The purpose of the study is “to gain an understanding of the victimization experiences of adult (18+) survivors of psychopaths, in an attempt to raise awareness amongst the general public, and mental health and criminal justice professionals.”
Everyone at Lovefraud is invited to participate.
The researcher has developed a web-based survey. The survey has both self-report scales and open-ended questions. You will be asked to rate the presence or absence of psychopathic traits of the most recent psychopathic individual you have been involved with on one scale. Questions revolve around demographics, your relationship and experiences with the psychopath, including being deceived and its impact on your mental and physical health, your ways of coping, and your support networks. The survey does not ask for any information that might identify you.
Completing the survey will take approximately one hour, and Lovefraud strongly encourages you to participate. If you are concerned about your safety, please be sure to take appropriate precautions.
Here—finally—is a chance to develop information that may make a difference in how victims of psychopaths are viewed and treated. Let’s take advantage of the opportunity.
Data is being collected from now until Dec. 31, 2008. Be sure to add your voice.
I have a psy/soc detecter dog !:)~
Dogs are brilliant creatures.
Although I am not sure, I assumed that since early in the questionnaire we were asked how long we had been out of the relationship, that the questions related to our feelings/symptoms related to how we are functioning now during the time period out of the relationship, so that is how I responded.
Indigo, I believe dogs actually can sense evil in people. I think they are very intuitive and my dog could always sense a problem arising with my ex P a minute or two before I would realize it. It was as if she could read his vibes or something. I noticed this time and time again–my dog would react (literally go hide between an oversized stuff chair and the wall and begin to shake with this really paranoid look on her face. When that would happen, within minutes, all hell would break loose.
Yes JEN
My cat was the same way ! when he was around the cat was not! LOVE jere
Hi all,
Just a few quick comments (I will be trying my best to respond to all your questions, concerns, comments, etc.!).
Your feedback is always taken into consideration and I try my very best to incorporate changes. For example, Dr. Forth and I have discussed the addition of a “Comments Box” towards the end of the survey today, and we will be passing this idea – inspired by your comments! – by Ethics for approval very, very soon. We feel that it is important as it will allow you to provide input about the survey itself and give us more insight into your answers; which in turn can be looked at in terms of themes for potential future research.
Also, I love reading the comments about animals’ intuition. I may be a “scientific researcher (student)” but as someone owned by three cats and the companion of an extremely intelligent dog who “works” for me, I am a big believer that animals are more tuned in to the events around them than we are… ;).
Sincerely,
-M. (pss).
Took the survey…so, so difficult to describe the experience. My ex was not overtly abusive. There were no broken bones, no weapons, no beatings. In fact, I thought I had a normal happy marriage until the bitter end…he was using me as a cook, maid, ATM. But all the while he was raping my children. And he never, not for one moment, admitted any of it.
So I read my answers and it doesn’t seem like I’m even touching the raw truth of what it is like to have everything you KNOW taken away from you in the blink of an eye, in the dropping of a mask.
I could have filled out the survey about my father. Now there was a violent, murderous psychopath! He was easy to identify. He was open in his violence. (As a matter of fact, I had the false belief during the marriage that God had sent me my perfect mate as compensation for having to grow up the way I did, running for my life and dodging punches. Magical thinking.)
I could have filled out the survey about my child, who technically is the most recent I’ve dealt with. I could have told about the times this child tried to get me fired from my job, or arrested for something I didn’t do. I could have told how this child only a few weeks ago committed crimes while staying in my house and tried to get his younger sibling to go along for the ride. I could have told about the times this child tried to kill a sibling–once at age three, when he coaxed his big sister out onto the roof and was just about to push her off when I spotted them from a second-story window; another time by taking a younger sibling out in deep water on an inflatable raft and pushing her off; and another time by going after the oldest sibling with a hammer.
But I chose to fill out the survey about my ex, because of the three I have dealt with, he was the worst, even though his crimes were harder to see. He was smooth and oily and greasy and 100% made up of falsehoods. He targeted me. He worked very, very hard to get me. It took him years. And then he made me believe in love and truth and destiny and everything the movies teach you to hope for. He made me believe that he would be a good father to the troubled child, and that he would protect me from all the evil that is out there in the world.
But he wasn’t. He WAS the evil. He molested and raped my daughters. He stole from my sons. He would have killed me, I believe in my bones, had I not thrown him out when I did. I believe he killed an older relative for money, and I know he killed his own mother for money. When I confronted him about my suspicions, his only reply was a snarled “You can’t prove it.”
And up to almost the last moment, I thought he was a good man. I thought he was my soulmate. How do you put that in a survey? You can’t.
Thanks for the opportunity and the space in which to get a little bit more of the pain out of my system. Thanks for studying us…the victims who get no sympathy from a world which doesn’t understand…because it doesn’t want to look at evil and acknowledge it, the way each of us have been forced to.
I started to take the survey last night … and then stopped due to how the questions were written.
I found the questions to be out of sequence. What I knew about my EX during the relationship is totally opposite of what I found out about what he really is after the relationship ended.
survey lady thank you !
My psyco liked pets I say that becuse I took care of them he did not ! He cut the head off one of his own snakes because it bit him when he was feeding it ! this is normal behavior as he knew, he was just off the chain ! he wrote in the snakes blood all over the walls of my house and left the snakes head in a pool of blood in front of my door to my space in the house! And who do you think got to clean this up???????????? hummmm I don’t know the maid Right! I still was hooked for friggin six yrs I was Hooked
No one but these people here can possibly understand this hookedness it’s inconcievable !? They have a power beyond understanding an evil power. they make us feel we are to blame for all their sins and behavior and all the trouble they cause them selves! and they are very very very very very very good at this ! LOVE jere
Wow Todd
My best friends Name is Todd! he left this reality for the real one a couple of years ago at 40 he is survived by a wife and two sons I miss him but I know he’s smilling at me and happy that I have got it found it what ever you want to cal it I know whats up and now I can do something about it instead of being a victim ! thanks Todd LOVE jere
Indi: You should have said to him or wrote him a note “MOMMY does live here, clean up your own mess”… which I used to post all over my place of employment … yes, it was me writing these notes in the bathrooms, in the kitchen areas, especially the fridge … sinks … you name it … it was like, hey, did I get hired as your mommy, picking up after you pig pen?
Peace (LOL).