Plenty of scientific researchers have studied psychopaths. But few have studied the victims of psychopaths, so there is little documentation of what we have all been through.
Perhaps that is beginning to change.
Lovefraud has been contacted by a researcher from Carleton University in Ottowa, Ontario, Canada. She is conducting a study entitled Victimization, coping, and social support of adult survivors of psychopaths. The graduate student is working under the supervision of Dr. Adelle Forth, who is a colleague of Dr. Robert Hare.
The purpose of the study is “to gain an understanding of the victimization experiences of adult (18+) survivors of psychopaths, in an attempt to raise awareness amongst the general public, and mental health and criminal justice professionals.”
Everyone at Lovefraud is invited to participate.
The researcher has developed a web-based survey. The survey has both self-report scales and open-ended questions. You will be asked to rate the presence or absence of psychopathic traits of the most recent psychopathic individual you have been involved with on one scale. Questions revolve around demographics, your relationship and experiences with the psychopath, including being deceived and its impact on your mental and physical health, your ways of coping, and your support networks. The survey does not ask for any information that might identify you.
Completing the survey will take approximately one hour, and Lovefraud strongly encourages you to participate. If you are concerned about your safety, please be sure to take appropriate precautions.
Here—finally—is a chance to develop information that may make a difference in how victims of psychopaths are viewed and treated. Let’s take advantage of the opportunity.
Data is being collected from now until Dec. 31, 2008. Be sure to add your voice.
That’s mommy doesn’t live here … sorry, typed too fast… and this borrowed computer sucks.
You think I didnt say your mommy doesnt live here a million times the only thing he learned from mommy was to put the toilet seat down he was good at that ! that has to be a female thing ! :)~ us men look before we sit :)~ DUUUUUUUUH !:)~
i took the survey and passed with flying colors, my ex could be th poster child for sociopath. when i met him 10+ yrs ago he had me convinced he had his own business(with cards and all) loved his family(he actually loathed them and does not speakto them) he actually would leave the house like he was going to work, no money, the customers fault. he had an answer to every question. to this day he still blames everyone from his dog to his brother for why he is in the spot hes in now….down and out. i believe what goes around comes around and his day is near. but i still wil NEVER let my guard down ever!!!
Indigoblue: What part of selfish, self centered, self absorbed … of your EX’s personality did you forget about?
I would have turned him into to the Humane society in your area for killing your pet snake, because the pet snake, even though it was bought by him, was shared by both of you … and no animal has to be killed so carelessly and viciously like your EX did in a moment of having an adult temper tantrum and purposely destroying an innocent life of the animal … It is written in Proverbs that man will be judged how he treats the animals … not judged by man, but by God.
And yes, I am a activist for the elderly, children, the infirmed and animal rights. As should we all be in those major areas. The rest of us can take care of ourselves until we too become the elderly or infirmed.
Peace.
myself
How do you know for sure your ex is a pyscopath, it’s not as though they volunteer for testing is it?
I’m convinced my daughter’s ex is, but he as never been assessed properly by a pyschiatrist. He did see a pyschiatrist four times and told us he has sorted his problems and was now fine. If only!!!!
Shattered
The best way is to observe behavior
the words will be the exact opposite of the behavior ! lies
emotional emptyness
Google Robert D. Hare read aftermath;survival after Psycopathy ! If s/he is these traits will all fall into place ! LOVE jere
Shattered-
There are behaviors that they manifest that follow a pattern of psychopathy/sociopathy/narcissism, etc. I’m sure most of these P’s haven’t been properly diagnosed, but most psychologists don’t want to touch the issue because not only are these people dangerous if you cross them, but there’s not a whole lot of research to go off of yet. They can’t even agree on what to call them. The only thing I can say is that all the people here have common stories. We’ve all been victims of the same attacks. We are all trying to heal from the same wounds. So, title or not, they are the predator, we have been the prey. Now if we join arm in arm, we together can be a bigger, more powerful force than dealing with the predator alone. That’s why we’re here.
Hugs.
Dear Shattered,
Welcome to Love Fraud, it is a healing place.
I suggest tha tyou go back through the archives and read all he articles. It will give you aknowledge base from which to assess what your daughter went through and how they operate on the victims. I also suggest that you refer your daughter here if she is interested. She also needs to learn about the Psychopaths–the “diagnosis” terms are not important the important part is that they are TOXIC PEOPLE, just like a rattle snake is poison, so are the people who are predators on others. Knowledge=Power and learning about them will help both you and your daughter.
She needs your understanding and support for what she has been through. It may take her quite some time to get over it, long after she would have gotten over a “regular” break up. Because they devalue the victim and discard them. It takes a horrific toll on the self esteem and the souls of the victims. ((((hugs)))) for you and your daughter and God bless you both.
Thanks so much for your comments, I’ve studied and researched and know for sure in my heart. I’ve told my daughter about your site and others but she’s unresponsive to anything at the moment, but perhaps if I explain a little some of you may be able to help me, because quite honestly I feel my heart is breaking.
I know what she is going through because I’ve been there myself, and it’s only by finding these sites myself that I can now understand, and it’s like a light coming on. My ex still stalks me 16 years after splitting up. It becomes an obsession trying to figure them out, you know they’re not right but you don’t know why, and you honestly wonder if you could have done something different. Now I eventually realise he will never change and accept responsibility for the hurt that he caused.
I don’t deny it screwed me up, and I thought I was recovered, but it’s only now, that I understand that I would say I am whole again. Well I would be if I could help my daughter.
First of all I would like to explain that my daughters will admit that they were more or less unaware of what went on in my relationship, I managed to protect them from it (my ex knew it was the one boundary he dare not cross)
My daughters situation though is much worse.
My daughter and her two daughters, aged 10 and 14, the eldest from a previous relationship, escaped and came to live with me and my partner two years ago after being with her ex for 13 years. I won’t go into details of her relationship yet, but I will tell you what as caused her to be emotional broken.
Six months after escaping the youngest was effectively kidnapped by her father and kept from us completely for four months. During that time he has completely brainwashed her, and she is totally under his control.
She is a totally different child. She abuses us and does whatever he wants her to do. He uses her in any way he can to abuse my daughter and me (to a lesser degree).
I will not even mention child protection and courts, because they totally disgust me.
Any suggestions as to how I should be handling this, in order to help my daughter and granddaughters would be very much appreciated.
Thank you all in advance.