Editor’s note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud’s Professional Resources Guide.
Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships.
Mr. Invincible and other Un-Inspiring Characters
By Sarah Strudwick
Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide
As many of your know, having come out of relationships with sociopaths often we feel powerless. Some like Donna and others like myself have felt inspired to speak up and share our stories and talk about their experiences. I had this little voice that wanted to shout from the rooftops in the hope that others would not have to go through what I had to.
When I was child I felt powerless to speak up to abusers, which was one of the reasons why I kept on attracting psychopathic types during my adult life. As a life coach, there is a technique whereby you reduce your abuser to a cartoon-sized character in your head so they no longer have power over you. Imagine, for example, Mickey Mouse screaming at you and trying to throw a fist in your direction. When you play the image back it has less of an impact. At the same time, it doesn’t take away from the dynamics of what actually happened, but allows the victim to see things in a different way.
I live in the UK and we have a strange sense of humour. I was a big fan of the two comedians called The Two Ronnies. At the end of the show, they would say, “It’s good night from me and it’s good night from him.”
After healing and realising my sense of humour was still intact, it led me to create an animated character and find a voice and educate people on Youtube about the psychopathic type personality. In my book I call them Dark Souls.
Reducing the abuser to a cartoon sized character not only has the effect of lessoning their power over us, but also it enables those people who don’t particularly like reading lots of long texts to educate themselves in a fun, informative way. Also, Youtube is an excellent platform if used properly for educating people. The videos are now shared on many blogs. Here are some of the most commonly viewed.
Mr. Invincible — The Invisible Psychopaths Among Us
This particular video exposes the “dual” nature of sociopathic personalities, whereby they hide their real self behind a mask, hence the inspiration from The Two Ronnies.
I have been inspired to do other videos including one on why empaths like myself are drawn to these people, or should I say WERE drawn to them, and why they choose us and why we as victims need to change.
Because I am highly sensitive and work with energy, I think the most favourite one is:
I was inspired to do this video after my ex kept trying to call me at home from a withheld number after we finished, just to hear my voice. I knew he was watching my website so I put this one up and suddenly the calls stopped.
Although I have now moved on I occasionally see something that inspires me to put up a new video like the recent Charlie Sheen story:
Charlie Sheen — Love Me or Hate Me
I’ll continue to keep on putting up the videos because it not only helps victims, but videos like “Mr. Invincible” help to educate the masses too. Despite some mild swearing on them, which is done for obvious reasons, I hope they will make a few people smile in the process.
Sarah, thanks for all your work.
My sister is a spath (as is my bro and my exP and soooo many other people in my life). But she is a very stupid spath that doesn’t realize that my ExP sent a trojan spath to marry her and will eventually dump or kill her (he took out a million dollar policy on her before they were married).
Even though she is a spath, I’d feel bad to know that her spath husband killed her. Anything you can do to illuminate the dumbest of the dumb, is appreciated. I was pretty dumb myself when, as a teenager, I met my spath and got taken in.
If your cartoon/videos can educate those who “hate to read” you will save many lives. thank you.
Sarah,
I think these cartoons are brilliant. I love the voices, the silly suits and the constant exposure. My favorite cartoon is ‘exposing the mask of insanity’ it is very funny. I absolutely love the way you have reduced the dark soul into a cartoon!! what a great and powerful idea. They are clear in message, get straight to the core of the scam and are beautifully “light” and easy to watch.
I know how terrifying these asshos really are, but kids do not nessecarily have a clue. …I will be showing these beautiful cartoons to secondary school girls as soon as Easter hols are finished. I am always looking for novel ways to get the message out there especially to teenage girls, I know they will enjoy these and it will no doubt spark off discussions and sharing afterwards
Keep up the brilliant work! thanks to lovefraud for hi lighting these cartoons…they are priceless
Thank you for sharing these. They are truly brilliant.
When I first started falling in love with the sociopath who came into my life, I made a music compilation for him called “Monster.” It had all kinds of great songs on it about monster types – Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult, Iron Man by Black Sabbath, Ice Cream Man by Van Halen, Werewolf by Cat Power, Disturbia by Rihanna, Stranglehold by Ted Nugent, Turbo Lover by Judas Priest, The Four Horsemen by Metallica, Seven Nation Army by White Strongs and a few others- really great music.
Now I know I was trying to tell myself something.
Funny thing is, he took the disc with him on a road trip he took with his children and they loved it. Right at this very moment that I am typing this I am realizing that he probably had one of those weird sociopath kicks out of playing this disc for them because they dind’t know I existed at the time of the trip.
He told me after the trip that his kids totally dug the disc.
I hope they got the message that I didn’t even know I was sending.
Hello Sarah
These are brilliant ..6 years along the road of trying to get rid of a sociopath and narcissist …these made me giggle, my SPs mask is now a blue hair rinse; utterly vain as they all are.
xxx
OneBeliever,
I like your name. Why did you choose it?
Your music compilation story rings true for me. After I woke from the spell, I remembered how my own words and actions were telling me what I couldn’t/didn’t want to believe. Add to that all the “TELLS” the spath told me, and the truth of betrayal should have been loud and clear. But who can believe such an outrageous betrayal? Not until I came to learn that these creatures exist everywhere, could I make sense of it.
The gut feelings were there all along. Learning to trust them is key.
Jar of Hearts–you all know the song, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
Love the dance/acting in the video, and the final confrontation when the man falls and she walks over him. YOU GO Christina!!
This is my dream–to walk away with that power and to have a confrontation. I feel I am feeding stbx H’s ego (still giving him supply) because my NC is out of FEAR. NC is useful for self-preservation during divorce, to avoid his manipulation and keep my sanity. But, I’d rather feel free and strong and unafraid and tell him how it is, and show him to his face that I am not perturbed by his antics and feel totally cool talking about the logistics of divorce, or our child, or whatever. I back away bec. I believe that my fear will take over and he’ll win somehow in any exchange–email, phone, or in person. This AVOIDANCE makes me feel weak.
On the other hand, I had the inkling to send the song to the recently x b/f who dropped off the face of the earth at the first time I decided to take a weekend to myself and didn’t fall for his blame and anger afterwards. Better leave sleeping dogs lie, what do you say Skylar? If I sent him the song–he’d turn it off, or gloat over the fact that I’m still thinking of him and giving him attention, or feeling ANYTHING–sad or angry or anything at all–about HIM.
Yeah, DW, stay NC.
He’s playing a game of chicken to see who blinks first. Don’t let it be you.
Sky–“he” as in b/f, right?
Creep.
Thanks, great name for it.
Creep.
yeah, b/f the creep.
Funny, my spath used to call himself, “the creep”. He even signed an apology card “the creep”, way back when we first met.
Hi there, Skylar.
Thank you for the compliment on the name. Funny, I chose it early on in my travels in the LoveFraud arena. I chose it because I came to the realization that my (always thankfully) ex boyfriend was a complete and utter liar. However, for him to achieve that status – and for me the lie is a lifestyle choice worthy of status in the same way many of us choose our status choices – house, car, purse etc – he required a believer.
I chose my name because it occured to me that in order for him to be successful at all the crazy things he did, we did and he will always continue to do – he MUST have believers.
I am OneBeliever because it gives me equal and better status than every sociopath on the planet. Being a believer makes you pure and good – like I was before I knew the awful truth about him. It also makes me ready to believe again. And I really want to believe again.
It is always the truth that sets you free. That faith makes me happy now.