Lovefraud recently received the following question from a reader:
When a sociopath targets his victim, does he think and create a plan as to HOW he is going to manipulate his prey to glean what he wants, or is this just second nature to him? How can he spend MONTHS being such a kind, considerate person, going out of his way to do the “little” things that matter in life, before turning into the evil monster?
When you have been deceived and manipulated by a sociopath, the most difficult idea to grasp is how totally different people with this personality disorder are from the rest of us. Their behavior is different from everything we thought we knew about human interaction.
Sociopaths—both male and female—seem to be missing the parts that make the human race human. There is no deep warmth. There is no true caring. There is only fake warmth and fake caring, which disappear immediately once sociopaths decide they have no further use for us.
How do they become like this? According to Dr. Liane Leedom, it’s their different motivation.
Power motivation v. love motivation
Normal people, who do not have a personality disorder, are motivated by both love and power.
We feel emotional love for family, friends, neighbors, and even animals or causes, that are important to us. We care about everything we love, which makes us take action to please, support and protect them.
Normal people also have a healthy power motivation. This is what makes us pursue achievement, leadership and recognition. But our power motivation is kept in check by our love motivation. Therefore, although we strive for accomplishment, we’re willing to strive fairly, without injuring other people as we pursue our goals.
In sociopaths, there is no balance between their love motivation and power motivation. The defining characteristic of real love is caring about another person’s health and wellbeing, and this is practically nonexistent in sociopaths. Their power motivation, however, is out of control. All they really want is to win, to control and to dominate others.
Born to be manipulative
Sociopathy (technically called antisocial personality disorder or psychopathy) is highly genetic. That means children can be born with a genetic predisposition to the personality disorder. Whether this genetic predisposition “expresses,” or becomes active, depends in part on the child’s environment, including the parenting he or she receives. When sociopathic parents are part of the child’s life, their notoriously bad parenting may encourage their offspring’s latent disorder to develop.
When children are born with a genetic predisposition to the personality disorder, what it means in practice is that they have a stronger power motivation than love motivation. From a very early age, these children derive little pleasure from warmth, affection and closeness, and much more enjoyment from getting what they want. Therefore, the children learn, essentially through trial and error, how to behave in order to get what they want. They learn manipulation techniques—and spend their lives perfecting them.
Games sociopaths want to win
To get back to the Lovefraud reader’s question, I think sociopaths pursue both avenues of manipulation, depending on the individual and circumstance. Yes, they think and plan about how to get you to deliver what they want. And yes, they’ve been doing it for so long that much of their behavior is second nature. They are opportunistic, so when chances to manipulate you pop up, they know exactly how to capitalize on them.
Because their objective is to win, sociopaths view their interactions with you as a game. Some sociopaths have the patience to play the game as long as necessary in order to score that win. Then, when they’veachieved their objective, they’re finished. The charade is over, and you find, to your horror, that everything the sociopath said and did was designed to deceive you.
this is an absolutely brilliant article……thank you donna.
this really spoke to me.
Because their objective is to win, sociopaths view their interactions with you as a game. Some sociopaths have the patience to play the game as long as necessary in order to score that win. Then, when they’ve achieved their objective, they’re finished. The charade is over, and you find, to your horror, that everything the sociopath said and did was designed to deceive you.
not nice to be a game to someone…..to have someone play with your emotions and your life………so as you also said in the article real love is caring about someones health and wellbeing so how could you care about a person to play games with them…..its when i read things like this i find the wisdom and knowledge to see what happened in my life…..and it helps me move on and not want this person in my life again…..i can see she never ever carer for me,i mean really cared or loved me…..i was just a game,it was all like you said about power and control……and when the charade was up how easily she got to walk away but im left with the horror.
Interestingly, the number of male predators with ASPD (Anti-Social Personality Disorder) is estimated to be far greater than the number of female. Commonly you’ll hear the number expressed as 4% of males and 1% of females.
Consider yourself among the rare, and also take heart that people with ASPD prey particularly on forgiving, kind people.
ASPDs are not capable of abiding love. They lack the depth of emotion that others with appropriate emotional reasoning feel. They are simply out for what they can get, and will use anyone who seems caring enough that stumbles into their path. Their motives can be any and everything but basically, their feelings for you are extended because you provide something they want or need.
The most telling characteristic of a loving person is their ability to feel empathy. Recognition of this character in a person will help you stay away for ASPDs in the future.
I’ve written a poem on the subject for my soon-to-be released book. It’s called Carnal Abusive Deceit, When a Predator’s Lies Become Rape. It’s written from the perspective of a woman, but it’s equally true for men. Hope you enjoy it.
PREDATORY PATH
You lead your life down Predatory Path
Strewn with victims in aftermath.
Manipulating lies, deceit abounds,
How truthful all your spinning sounds.
The chaos you cause others fails,
To reach your conscience, as hard as nails.
As empathy fails to penetrate,
You find, you stalk, you blame their fate.
You groom with charm, destroy their guard,
’Til time to pounce, when you gouge hard.
Conflicting lies, unleash your greed,
All they can do is cry and plead.
And wonder where stability went-
Unmasked, move on, their wholeness is spent.
As you skip down your path anew,
“A new” victim to travel to.
No, no, not you, not one so fair,
Those folks who shriek, how do they dare?
Diminish them for the world to see-
Add insult to their injury.
Construct a wall, Isolate their pain,
Disrupting cries inhibits your gain.
Their public sorrow could do you in,
Exposure could stop your continued sin.
As enlightenment opens,
Recent eyes that you’ve mated,
Who envisioned you’re gold,
Though you’re just fools-gold plated.
Wow, thank you, Joyce.. great post and poem..right on! when will your book be published and on sale? Sounds like a good read……
Great poem! Thank you so much for sharing this!
I was also a victim of a woman who misled me, even proposed to me, and all the while was taking everything she could from me. She left me in financial shambles, but made the mistake of using my credit card to purchase considerably too much and was charged with felony theft, identity theft, computer fraud, and forgery. She was to receive a considerable amount of prison time, but unfortunately, the district attorney who originally was prosecuting the case had to resign due to his own sexual misconduct with an employee. The one that replaced him not knowing all the details agreed to a plea bargain and dismissed most of the charges against her without my knowledge. I was waiting to be called to testify against her in a trial. She got off with the time served, which was about 6 months, but did have to go to two other states and finish serving sentences in those states due to breaking her probation and parole conditions. She is currently finishing a sentence in Missouri as I understand it, but am not sure. I have completely gotten her out of my life except for the financial bills she left me to pay off. It will be almost 5 years before I completely pay off the rest of what she was able to milk out of me. Thankfully, I never married her (and the proposal she made? She bought me a ring which was very cheap at Wal-Mart when she originally asked me, but unknown to me at the time was the fact that she bought herself a much more expensive wedding set and also another male ring for her real fiance’ and later exchanged them for an even more expensive set!) She wound up not marrying him, either, but the rings were never recovered. No one seems to know what happened to them. I still haven’t paid off all of that balance, either. The credit card company removed some of the charges she made on my card, but not all of them. Another miscarriage of justice in our society. She had taken the card without my knowledge and used it to purchase over $9,000 worth of merchandise, food, and gas in only a few days before I realized it was gone and had it cancelled. All in all, she “took” me for something over $30,000. It’s all she’s ever done in her life. She married twice, had a daughter with each husband, and both of them got custody of their daughters when they divorced. Apparently, the youngest was born while she was in jail and she hasn’t seen the girl since right after she was born. She had an abusive childhood, but the extent of it is not completely known because she has lied so much no one knows how much to believe of what she has said about it. She had a history of using sex to get what she wanted from older men from when she was in junior high school, to the present day. She also has a history of prostituting herself to women, also, so she is probably a big hit in the jail, or prison, she is currently serving time in. When she gets out, I have no doubt she will continue to practice the same kind of things to live with even better knowledge of how to avoid being prosecuted for doing them. She is a total menace to society; not a killer, or at least not yet one, but a total manipulative woman who manages to get most of what she wants, primarily from older men. There have been few things she hasn’t done at one time or another in order to get what she wants. In my case, she came into my life at a time when I was totally vulnerable. I had lost my wife to cancer a couple of years prior and then had the only person I’d met since then that I cared for to leave me, too. She was young, somewhat attractive, and very conniving and convincing. She convinced me for a time that she had real feelings for me, and used sex and deceit to get me to do things financially that normally I would have never considered doing. Looking back now, I can see many warning signs I should have heeded, but she was always able to cover them up; changed her story so many times I couldn’t begin to count them. She only told me enough truth to make what she said to me believable, and if I questioned her on anything, she would take my hand, sweetly talk to me, and change the subject without ever answering any concerns I had. When I would be away from her, I knew she was someone I needed to stay away from, but when she was with me, she was always able to allay any doubts I had about her and make me feel loving towards her. If she felt threatened by what I was asking about, she would simply remove her clothes and lead me to the bedroom. Thinking back, I can never remember having sex with her at any time other than when I had challenged her about something she’d said, or hadn’t done as promised except for when she was winning me over in the beginning. She was good. When I found out about all the things she’d done before I met her AFTER she was arrested for stealing my credit card, I felt so foolish for ever going along with her for as long as I did. She told me she loved me so many times, but she could say it in a way I should have known that she didn’t really. The crazy part is that we all know we are being had in some way by these people, but we allow them to do what they do to us anyway. In my case, I never should have seen her the second time, and so many times after that I should have ended it well before I did. I’m not sure how much longer I would have kept believing her if she hadn’t stolen my credit card and did what she did, but I’m sure it would have been several thousand dollars later. As it is; she has put me in terrible financial position that I am just now beginning to climb out of enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been three years now since I last saw her in a court room in prison attire (which was the best looking I ever saw her). I have managed to get control of my finances again, and have met and married a wonderful lady who is definitely NOT a sociopath. When I read about others who’ve had similar experiences or worse, it makes me feel a little better about the things I allowed this woman to do to me, but I’m not sure I will ever completely forgive myself for what I let her get away with. I had an excellent credit rating before I met her; now I’d have trouble borrowing enough money to replace something that breaks down in my house. In a few years, that will be different, too, but I am no longer the trusting person I used to be. It was a life changing experience for me, as it is for all of you. I hope that some day there will be a way to cure these people from their non-human behavior, but until then, I wish there were tougher criminal punishments for them when turned in. So often they go after respectable people who would be embarrassed to turn them in due to the publicity and dent on their reputation that such action would cause. They know that, too, and select those that feel that way. They are cold, calculating individuals who are out for only one person in the world, themselves. They have no conscience, no guilt, and no remorse for the things they do, and like this article says, they plan to do what they do to you, and they also do a lot of the things they do out of what comes natural to them to do. They will continue hurting people and getting better at it until they are dead, or maybe finally put in jail where they can’t for that period of time. There is no cure, no hope that they will change because they don’t want to change. In their deranged minds, they are doing nothing wrong. One clue the person you are seeing may be one is that they are using a prepaid cellular phone as the only way for you to contact them, and/or a computer. The one I was conned by had I think 26 cell phones in her glove compartment when arrested. She would use a phone to talk to whoever she was conning, another one for her family, and friends, and in her case another one for her fiance’. When she was through with someone, she’d simply let the battery run down on her cell phone she was using for that person and buy another one. During the time I was with her; she used some 4, or 5 different phones for me to contact her on. The police found some very interesting text messages between her and several individuals she conned, or was a prostitute with over the past year. Between those and the laptop computer she had, they determined she had conservatively had sex with over 100 different men and women over the past year. No telling how many more prior to that. I was flabbergasted and embarrassed beyond belief when I was told that. It was, however, the one thing that made me see her for exactly what she was. Prior to that, there was a real possibility I would have dropped the charges against her had she come up with a plan to repay me for the charges she had made on the card. For anyone who is reading this; please, don’t feel like you are a bad person, or have something wrong with you. These people prey on GOOD people, people who love and forgive and trust others. They pick you out because you are a good person; the last thing they want to do is pick out someone who might have violent tendencies, or would turn them in to the police for what they do to you. It’s part of their survival technique. But also, PLEASE, PLEASE get away from them as soon as you can; they will never change and will only continue to hurt you more if you don’t.
TN victim – I am so sorry for your experience. Even after all the stories I’ve heard, I continue to be amazed at the depravity of these people. I’m glad you got her out of your life and you have remarried. It’s a sign of your recovery.
TNvictim, I’m really touched by your story and thank you for having the courage to share it. I sincerely hope this experience has not ruined your faith in finding honest love as you so genuinely deserve. My experience with two sociopaths is that they do not want to change, and this would make highly difficult for any discovered cure to be affective. They like the idea of getting a “free ride” throughout life concerning anything they need and want, and getting there by means of deception gives them a feeling of power and control whereas they would feel out of place in world of normally functioning people without it. I think the best cure for this disorder is prevention and awareness for anyone who is susceptible to becoming a victim. Without victims, these people have no other choice but to survive off of their own labor. Your testimony helps this cause. Thank you again for sharing.
Learus
http://learus.wordpress.com/category/the-sociopath-a-social-terrorist/
I didn’t think very highly of myself when I finally realized I had been manipulated, played, and duped by this psycho-slut. The fact that I was seriously contemplating leaving my wife for this snake makes me shudder. How could I have been that naive? The ironic part of this twisted relationship was that the main focus of the socio wasn’t me, but my wife, who was her employer! She was so envious and covetous of my wife that her main goal was to have me divorce her and thereby “win”. In retrospect, it was all very sick. Fortunately, the lies finally caught up with her at which point I quickly ended the relationship and then had to painfully deal with the addiction which is always part of that postmortem.
Feel SO sad and vulnerable when I read this!!! Yes he hurt me used and discarded….but the real pain is from knowing that my child is “Just Like His Father”. He has had no contact with me for almost nine months now…. Unlike his father though he is a parasite….he dropped out of college, moves from one place to the next without aim and direction. His father bails him out financially…That will stop at some point and then I really worry….He will be 25 next month. I raised him with every privilage not just financial but with ALL my time, my love, and my values…His father’s mask was still intact while he was home,still I think the genetic predisposition is very very strong!!!! Feel helpless. In our last conversation after I had discovered he had been failing yet again I told him that I would give him my love my advice and my help BUT no money. He has not spoken to me since.
Imara – I feel so badly for people like you – those who were snagged by a sociopath, and then realize their child has the same traits. It is so heartbreaking.
Just know that you did your best. At this point, all of the choices your son makes are his own.
Thank you Donna for another excellent article!This has long been a question in the back of my mind;was this all planned or did it just happen this way because I was in the ‘wrong place at the wrong time’?! Knowing it’s planned hurts even more!So it’s second nature~no wonder they can’t change!I’m glad I got out before he was through using me~that thought makes me feel in control,lol!I just wish I could wipe all the hurt away from my girls’ lives.
Imara,
As much as it hurts to say this,your son may be doing you a favor by not coming around.As a mother I know. We have a bond with our child,and our heart breaks when that bond seems to be broken.But we don’t do ourselves or the child any favors by giving into pressure in order to be with them.Hopefully,he’ll ‘come around’ in time.In the meantime,focus on your healing.Best wishes! (((Hugs)))
This article describes my experience precisely. All of the “love” and “concern” was fake. Once she took everything and destroyed what she could not take, she moved on and disappeared. Recently I got a large income tax bill for the one year we jointly filed. One final kick in the teeth from an abusive ex-spouse…
Your article clearly states the underlying motivations that drive actions of sociopaths! Thank you! Had a chance to interview relatives of a female sociopath who confirmed lifelong patterns consistent with manipulation, lies and dramatic power plays left unchecked when the paths father died; the mother, fearful, was easy to overcome to enable the behaviors. She has stolen identities, conned large sums of money and set up others so she appears as a victim!
Once again, sounds like my ex. She manipulated the sheriff’s department, the prosecutor, the judge and even my attorneys…
When I learned she had done it so many times to others I was stunned. So all the nice things she ever said were lies. And she even contacted one of her exes (whose life she had ruined) and bragged about what she was going to do to me…
Hi Donna,
Thanx for another great read. 🙂
I’m glad that you mentioned pre-disposition and would just like to stress that I feel that is a bit of good news. Good because it doesn’t mean that all with the pre-disposition are likely to become sociopaths. Just simply more likely under a given set of conditions.
That said, there is more and more evidence linking low cholesterol levels in the brain and sociopathic behavior. Given the Western Hemisphere’s notion that everything cholesterol is bad, it’s not surprising that we see more and more with this pre-disposition “going active” so to speak.
I sure wish people would do their own research when it comes to diet as well as child rearing.
BDKR – wow – I hadn’t heard about low cholesterol and sociopathic behavior. Can you post a reference?
Hi Donna,
Yeah, here are one or two small things.
But first, this isn’t my field. I am just interested so I dig and dig.
I first started hearing of this from Dr. Mercola who has a site of his own and mentions issues associated with low cholesterol rather often. One of the links from his site that got my attention is this one.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7532867?dopt=Abstract
Being a big supporter of cholesterol in our diets (and realizing just how demonized it’s been), I kept stumbling onto things talking about behavioral side effects of low cholesterol. Read Dr Mercola’s comment at the bottom of this link… http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/01/02/low-cholesterol-linked-to-violence.aspx
Some of those may not seem direct links, but here’s one that states it (low cholesterol and APD) more plainly by some Turkish doctors.
http://www.psikofarmakoloji.org/pdf/9_4_3.pdf
Here is another going back to ’79.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/431794
I’ll post this one as well though it’s another indirect link.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18655883
The reason I mentioned the links between cholesterol level and APD being indirect is because the follow on processes that the body undergoes with cholesterol are numerous and sometimes convoluted. But regardless of that, cholesterol is key to those processes occurring in the first place. One of those being the synthesis of hormones.
Now how much of our behavior is affected by those hormone blokes?
Anyway, I’m not saying “THIS IS THE CURE”! I “believe” it is a factor however. And I believe it’s just as you state. A pre-disposition that when coupled with bad experience early on (APD parents?) and poor diet can bring out the thing we least want to see.
BDKR,
That surely is an interesting theory-low cholesterol and sociopathic behavior!I know that certainly isn’t responsible for my spath as he is of Mediterrean background(and so was his diet)….but like Donna,I’d love to see a reference work!
My spath had relatively high cholesterol as his mother was asian. His father was probably a spath so i go with the genetic theory, especially as they all seem to behave in the same way. Genetic and then they hone their techniques by practising all through their sorry lives.
I have not seen my spath for 4 weeks now and have not spoken by phone for a week. It doesn’t sound long, I have learned SO MUCH about sociopaths but most of all about ME. I had a lucky escape and got away from my spath before he started the D&D. He’s still trying to contact me, but I’ve blocked him wherever I can.
Whenever I tried to challenge him, he evaded it all, turned it back on me and told me not to over-analyse. I think this is a common trait. they are so good at turning things round. He even turned round the fact that he was living with a woman and his child that it was my fault because he’d fallen in love with me and he’d only wanted a ‘sexual tryst’ like he usually had. Also it was my fault he went off for a weekend with another woman because he thought he’d lost me and was in self destruct
I nearly fell for this crap and it was only by learning about spaths and their methods that I was able to understand that he couldn’t speak the truth and it was all a game of manipulation and control.
My last conversation with him, he actually said, ‘I don’t think like normal people, I don’t know why I just can’t’ and ‘Some moments with you, I really felt fully human and in love’. I pity him because if he has those insights into himself, it must make it worse to live his life, knowing that he isn’t able to feel human most of the time.
I felt pity until I found out he’s in a house-share with a vulnerable single 40 year old pole dancer. He’s been there two weeks and I’d assume will be sleeping with her by now. I think that was the final straw for me. For all his pretty words, he’s a predatory spath and I’m well rid of him.
I know it’s early days but I feel good about getting away and have pushed myself out of my comfort zone since getting away. I feel strong and feel that the gift I have from this ‘relationship’ is that I have to love and accept myself. I believed all the bullshit from the spath, but had no self belief. the anger I’ve felt is wasted on him, I’ve used the energy from it to learn about myself and nurture myself and my friends and family.
I have moments when I long for the spath I thought I knew, but I know that person doesn’t exist. It is a strange grieving process, to grieve for someone I thought I loved, who actually never existed. The whole situation is so bizarre, I wouldn’t have believed it without hearing others share their stories.
Keep sharing and stay strong x
I agree: excellent article, both succinct and packed with info about how and why psychopathy develops.
As horrible as being victimized by a ‘spath is as an adult, via a chosen relationship, I think its a thousand times worse to have a ‘spath as a parent. I don’t think its possible to emerge into adulthood undamaged if one has been raised by a psychopathic mother and/or father.
The child would either be severely neglected/totally abandoned by a ‘spath parent, or the child would be the equivalent of a political prisoner: subjected to emotional torture, manipulation, lies, shaming and humiliating, stripped of any healthy self-esteem, burdened with misplaced, inappropriate feelings of responsibility and guilt, made to feel that the abuse is deserved, or the child would be at risk for being exploited sexually. A child in the hands of a ‘spath parent: its the stuff of nightmares.
I wish there were tests for those who wish to become parents, to make sure that they are at least minimally mentally healthy. These days, there seem to be neurological tests, 3-D real-time MRI brain scans indicating that an individual’s brain has personality disordered or psychopathic wiring/processing, that differs from normal brains, like a “signature” of disorder. I wish such tests could be put in service to provide a safety net for children being raised by those who are truly too mentally ill to be trusted to raise kids.
I agree with you about a child in the hands of an spath is a nightmare. The stories I’ve heard from these victims even gave me nightmares.
Learus
http://learus.wordpress.com/category/the-sociopath-a-social-terrorist/
I believe in the genetic theory too.Spath’s family were immigrants and children of immigrants.Not saying all immigrants are spaths!But some of them were from Sicily and went to NY.Um,I think most know what kind of activities many of them were involved in.Criminal.
Spath was cruel to animals and to his brother as he was growing up.But I think he came by it naturally.On both sides of his family,there were MEAN people.They mellowed as they aged.I even came to love his father before he died,but I do remember him doing alot of yelling and being very critical of spath.
Mincheff Joyce …
just wanted to say i really loved your poem and related to the pain of it….id really like to read your book when its published….thank you for sharing your poems.
tnvictim….
thank you so much for sharing your experience,it was a shocking tale of what a woman is capable of…….terrible…!
im so glad you moved on and met someone special to share your life with.after everything you have been through you deserve to be happy.
Jayo………
i really related to what you wrote especially to the last bit where you said………….
but I know that person doesn’t exist. It is a strange grieving process, to grieve for someone I thought I loved, who actually never existed. The whole situation is so bizarre, I wouldn’t have believed it without hearing others…………..
i truely feel the same……im not sure i even understand what happened….though i try logically tell myself and read information about sociopaths…..for some reason my mind cant fully comprehend what has happened in my life…….its hard to come to terms with the deceit,the lies……if someone else was telling me there story i would be ..oh my god…….but for some reason my own story goes over my head…..
i was so sick from the truth i found out it almost destroyed me….emotionally and psychologically…..i still struggle with anxiety,panic attacks,uncontrolled rage and emotions….at one point i thought i was going crazy and thought i should be locked up in some hospital…..but now i just see that the harm this person did to my life and emotional wellbeing was too much for me to cope with and i had a breakdown emotionally ,i know too that im suffering with post traumatic stress,i just hope in time i wont always feel afraid….
when i found out the truth about all the lies i phsycially felt sick for months………it was like a toxic posion had gotten into me….
i too struggle with the question……..was all the lies planned ….i dont understand that bit…so this article has really helped me.
regard my ex lying to me about having cancer……one of her excuses was …she owed money to a money lender and she thought if she pretended she had cancer they would let her off the debt……eh hello……what about me? at the point she told me she had caner we were together 10 years….
she pulled off the cancer ly for 3 full years…..and i never suspected once it was a lie,she was that good..an amazing actor…….full marks to her…cause i sure was fooled….and even after when i found out she told me……..you dont know how much trouble i went to to research cancer on line………like i was supposed to be happy she did it all for me…….i feel sick even thinking about it.
in the 16 years we were together she never worked more than a year…..i looked after her….gave her everything she needed…she knew exactly how to get what she needed….and she would be the first one to admit she is a taker…..and i was a giver.
i know now every story,every illness ,every drama in our 16 years was a lie.
i loved who i thought she was too……and i still am trying to comprehend what has happened….but thank god for lovefraud and i read alot which helps…im trying to recover my life….i cant understand why and my heart is broke why she would have told so many many lies..i believed everything and yes i feel like the fool now.
it helps to read this article to see….that yes she knew how to manipulate me to get what she wanted,and that she lied fully knowing she had control and power in it…i actually believe she got off on the lies…..seeing me suffering…….it gave her some sort of pleasure……playing her games……that what makes me feel most sick because i trusted her,i was naive cause i thought only good of all people….now im afraid of closeness and trusting…but i certainly know now…yes trust will be earned for me and not freely given…..
so thanks again for helping me on my road to recovery donna with this article.