New research finds that stress in the workplace can spread from person to person. Read Work stress as contagious as a cold, says study, on HuffingtonPost.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
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How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists
I think this goes both ways….if we are around calm people, we also pick up that calmness as well, and if we are around “hysterical” people we tend to pick that up as well. HAppy people=happy us, depressed people=depressed us, etc.
The Bible says that “evil companions corrupt good morals” and I find that when I am around “good people” I tend to act and think “more better” than when I am around people with a low moral threshold,, and when I am around people who are happy and calm, peaceful and good, I mirror those feelings and thoughts in myself. So when we associate with uplifting people we feel better, we think better, we act better, I think we ARE better, than when we associate with negative, nasty, hateful people!
When we are “forced” by virtue of our jobs, schools etc. to associate with people who are “drama” queens/kings, we should, I think, focus on NOT allowing this to adversely effect us. I think it takes effort on our part to accomplish this as well.
Recently I’ve been noticing that I don’t cuss as much – hardly ever – as I used to. I used to use foul words several times a day.
Back then, I told my spath, “you know, we cuss too much. I think that it contributes to stress to hear cuss words. We should try to change that about ourselves.”
Well, of course, he just ramped it up. And I realized that being around someone who cusses also makes you more likely to cuss. We tend to pick up other people’s speech habits.
Since I left the spath I rarely, if ever, cuss. When I need an explitive, I use a clean one, like, “freakin'”.
What’s interesting is that I didn’t need to make an effort. It happened naturally, just from getting away from the spath.
Now when I cuss it’s usually when I’m talking ABOUT spaths and their outlandish behavior.
I would venture to say that cussing is a red flag and that if someone cusses a lot, they either are a spath or are involved with one.
Skylar
My boss says “f*ck” constantly at work, in the office.
He’s a N.
Athena:
HA…maybe your boss is my X spath! 🙂
Skylar:
VERY good point about cussing and spaths.
Louise
Ha ha…. a big blech.
But, my spath never ever swore. It was part of the mask he wore. Impeccible manners. And entirely evil.
Athena:
Yuk…what an evil cover up…
Athena,
I’m trying to remember if my spath swore when we first met…
I can’t really remember, but I don’t think he swore as much as he did later. I do remember the day when he first started using the “C” word. It was over 10 years into our relationshit. I find that word very offensive but I tried to pretend that I didn’t because I could tell he was using it specifically to offend me.
I’m glad that you didn’t find out how horrible you would have been treated if he had married you. He didn’t marry you because you weren’t as easily manipulated as his ex-wife was, I’m sure. I’ve heard that once married, they turn from Dr. Jeckyl to Mr. Hyde on the honeymoon. Mine turned that way when I bought our house. He knew I was completely isolated by then.
Could someone please help me? So I don’t know what to do cause I’ve asked the few family members I keep in contact with to help me cosign for a loan. But bad credit runs in my family. Surprisingly, I have a credit report and its listed as fair or good. But I have very little credit history. I feel so discouraged and I just started at my job. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know anybody else that can help me. I’m trying all my hardest.
hurtnomore,
I think you got bad advice from the FA department. They want someone to assume responsibility for the loan so they can keep you in school with as little work on their part as possible.
You need to live as an independant person for at least a year and then you can become eligible for grants, rather than loans.
Spend some time assessing your strengths and talents. What makes you unique? Use those capacities to find ways of generating income. Apply for scholarships from organizations that help people in your area of interest. Use whatever free aid is out there. Xmas season is coming up, there might be retail positions available, so start applying.
The other option is to continue to deal with your father. He is toxic, but so are most people out there.